Journeys
by alliterativemonkey
Summary: Casey figures out a way to bring Alex home for good. The two hit it off immediately, but Casey's hiding something. Elliot and Olivia try to help her, but will it be enough? E/O and C/A.
1. Chapter 1

"You really should think about it, Mr. Alvarez," Brett Farmen told his client. They were sitting in the interrogation room waiting for Casey Novak to return. She had allowed them fifteen minutes to discuss their options.

"No," Julio Alvarez said firmly, crossing his arms and gritting his teeth as he looked over at the two-way mirror. He knew they were standing on the other side. "I will take no deal," he said, keeping his eyes glued to the mirror.

Brett hated these kinds of situations. He hated to lose, and right now, he knew that was exactly what was going to happen. The only thing he could do now was damage control. "You'll go to jail for the rest of your life unless you give us his name."

"I ain't going to jail."

"You will if you don't give us his name," Brett said again, this time through clenched teeth. There was nothing worse than a guilty client who refused to take a deal. And this was a deal his client needed to take. Novak had more than enough evidence to put him away for life, but she was willing to accept ten years if he gave her his drug dealer boss' name. "Just tell me who he his, Julio."

"No."

Casey walked through the door and set her briefcase on the table. "Then you're going to spend the rest of your life in prison." She was actually disappointed. As great as it was to have Alvarez, she really wanted his boss.

Julio smirked and folded his hands together on the table. "Bitch, you ain't got nothing on me."

Casey smiled and looked over at Brett. "You really should explain to your client that he is doing himself no favors by speaking to me like that."

"Show me what you got, lady. I guarantee you it's not enough. I'll be walking out that door before you know it."

"I love it when they think that way. Makes my victories so much sweeter." She pulled several pictures out of her briefcase and spread them out onto the table. "He was fourteen years old," she said, pointing to the first picture. It showed Julio and a young boy on a surveillance camera outside a gas station. "And this one," she said, pointing to the next picture, "was eleven."

"I didn't kill nobody!" he yelled, pushing the pictures away.

"I know you didn't kill them, Julio. That's not what you do. You make sure the drugs get to where they're supposed to go. We've got you on possession and distribution. Now these pictures show you with four different boys, all of whom ended up dead within hours." She sat down across from him and folded her hands. "You were the last person seen with them, Julio. We know you gave them drugs and paid them to deliver them. Who did they take them to?"

Julio hesitated. Gas station surveillance cameras were famous for not working. How had he gotten caught by the only one in the city that was working? "I didn't know he was going to kill them."

"Who?"

"He was just supposed to pick up the supply from them."

"Julio, who is he?"

"I swear those boys were supposed to be safe. He promised me he wouldn't kill them."

"I need a name, Julio."

Julio bit his lip and looked over at the pictures. He really hadn't meant for those boys to get killed. "His name is Alberto Chavez."

Casey and Brett breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Julio," Casey said. She turned to Brett and shook his hand. "I'll call you later to go over the final details."

"He gave you his name, Casey."

"I'm very well aware of that, Brett."

"And you know how low he is on the totem pole. He just delivers the drugs to the next person, who hands them off to the next person, and so on."

"Yep. But he handed them off to kids, and those kids died. I can't ignore that."

"I'm not asking you to ignore it."

She laughed and turned towards the door. "Relax, Farman. He just gave us the guy we've been looking for for five years. I'm going to recommend ten. With any luck, your client will behave himself and he'll be out in six."

* * *

Back in her office, Casey collapsed into her chair and sighed. She hated that she had caved on a guy who was responsible for the deaths of four teenage boys, inadvertently or not. "He gave us Chavez," she told herself. "That's what's important."

She was putting the finishing touches on her notes when she remembered something. She couldn't exactly tell what it was. It was like a tickling in the back of her mind, but she couldn't put her face on it. She flipped through her notes several times before throwing the file across the room in frustration. "There's something in there, I know it!"

That's when it hit her. She grabbed her phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Benson," Olivia answered the phone.

"Liv, it's Casey. I need you to look up a name for me."

"Okay, what's this about?"

"I'm not sure yet. Just go with me for a minute."

"Who am I looking up?"

"Carlos Juarez."

Olivia typed the name into her computer and waited for the search results. "I've got one arrested eight years ago on a kidnapping charge and one arrested four years ago on a narcotics charge."

"The second one. Were there any other guys with him? Any names come up in the search?"

Olivia clicked a few more keys and looked at the screen in front of her. "He was arrested for possession with along with your guy Alvarez and...Jos**é** Reyes. Reyes has a cousin named Albero Chavez who...oh my God."

"What?"

"Didn't your guy just give up Chavez?"

"Yes, why?"

"Chavez works for Roberto Dominguez. Dominguez just so happens to have a thing for C**é**sar Valez."

"I knew it!"

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

Casey bit her lip and tried to put her thoughts together. "My guy gave us Chavez. He and Dominguez have been working together for years, but we've never had any evidence to put them together or even arrest them. Now, I spoke to Reyes last week. I didn't know his connection until now. He wouldn't give me any names, but he told me his cousin and his cousin's boss were expecting a huge shipment next week."

"And?"

"I'm sure if Valez finds out about it, he's going to want to collect."

A sudden thought struck Olivia and she couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice. "We've got a guy undercover working near Valez. I don't think it'll be too difficult to get the word to him."

"Good, Liv. These are two big groups. We're going to have to create one hell of a set up."

"We'll handle it. Good work, Casey."


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia walked into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. She smiled when the glass of wine was placed in front of her.

"You look happy."

She smiled and took his hand in hers. "Casey's brilliant. Do you know that, Elliot? The woman is absolutely brilliant."

Elliot laughed and put an arm around her. "She's definitely better than the shy little mouse she was when she first started. "What'd she do today?"

"Filtered through a bunch of names, connected them to each other, and figured out a way to possibly bring down Cesar Velez."

If it were physically possible, Elliot's jaw would have hit the floor. "She did what?"

"Got a name, Alberto Chavez, which reminded her of a guy we know to be connected to Chavez, but we've got no proof. This guy, Dominguez, has been working with him for years, but we've never had any solid proof to get either of them. Apparently, Chavez has a cousin named Reyes, who Casey knows. Reyes told her a few weeks ago that his cousin, whom we now know to be Chavez, is expecting a huge shipment of something later next week. And, get this. Dominguez and Velez don't exactly get along."

Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia and kissed the top of her head. "You know what'll happen if Velez is taken down."

"Alex can finally come home." She took a deep breath and a large sip of wine. "We need to set up something. If Velez gets word that Dominguez is going to be at that delivery point, and Casey is pretty sure he will be, then he's going to want to be there too."

"We just have to get our guy to get word to spread to Valez, get all the details of this delivery, get our people in there without anyone noticing, and get Chavez, Dominguez, and Valez without getting ourselves killed in the process."

Olivia smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Easy as pie. Now, what should we have for dinner?"

* * *

They found out the details of the shipment eight days before it was due to arrive. That didn't give them much time to organize the set up, but they were determined to take down three of the biggest names in the drug dealing business. Nobody at the precinct was willing to say it out loud, but they were more excited about bringing Alex home.

After several hours of arguing with his lawyer, Casey had agreed to drop José Reyes' possession of child pornography (his drug charges were being dealt with by another prosecutor in narcotis) when he promised to send the wrong information about the shipment to Dominguez. She was pretty sure word would then spread to Valez.

The team working on the set up had arranged for a mock shipment to arrive the day before the intended shipment was due. They would have people undercover on the boat to deliver real drugs (cocaine, their sources told them). They had another team in place to intercept the actual shipment.

When the day of the set up arrived, Reyes told his lawyer that Dominguez had promised to be there in person to, "ascertain the quality of the product." He was also fairly certain Velez and his men were going to show.

"I hate that I'm not doing this with you," Olivia said as Elliot gathered his things.

He planted a light kiss on her lips and smiled. "I love that you're not doing this with me, even if it is because you fell down the stairs and broke your arm."

"Two days," Olivia said. "My damn stiletto couldn't have waited two days to break. I should be out there with you guys, El."

"I know you want to, and I know how much you want to get Velez, but this is probably the biggest operation either of us has ever seen. It'll be dangerous enough without you bringing a gun and using your bad arm to shoot."

"I do not have a bad arm!"

Elliot smirked, "Well you've definitely got a good one. And that good one is currently in a sling. So, no gun fights for you." He zipped up his jacket and opened the door.

"Just...promise me you'll be careful."

"I'm going to be just fine, Liv. We've got our positions all mapped out, even the guys on the boat. I've got my vest on and my gun fully loaded. I'll be home in time for dinner."

"You'd better be. I'm making your favorite."

"Chicken Marsala?"

"Chicken Marsala."

* * *

Everyone was in place. There were eight men on the boat, which would be docking within the next fifteen minutes. Elliot was worried that that many men would raise suspicions, but they needed to be careful. Nobody knew how many men Dominguez was bringing. Nor did they know if Valez was going to show, or if he too would be bringing men with him. If he did, they were going to need as many guys as they could get.

Munch and Fin were in a boathouse several docks down. Three guys from Narcotics were in a warehouse across the street. Cragen was behind the warehouse and Elliot was in an abandoned car about two hundred feet from the dock. They were as ready as they were ever going to be.

Reyes and two of the undercover agents were sent to scope out the place to make sure it was safe. They would, of course, go back to Dominguez and tell him that the coast was clear. They weren't sure if Velez was sending anyone to check it out, if he was just going to show up unannounced, or if he was just not going to come at all. They were hoping he would just show up. Sending some of his people would blow their cover. Not showing up would ensure his safety, and keep Alex in Witness Protection.

Once Dominguez and his men arrived, things started happening very quickly. Dominguez himself walked out to the boat and accepted the delivery. If he was suspicious of the number of people on the boat, he didn't show it. The four men with him, one of whom was Alberto Chavez, met on the shore to inspect their product.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is," a voice said.

Dominguez spun around and put his hand on his gun. "Cesar Velez. What do you think you are doing here? This is my shipment." His men began to crowd around him, each placing a hand on their guns.

Velez spread his arms and smiled. "Boys, boys, boys, relax. I'm sure we can settle this amicably." As he spoke, six men came walking towards him, each with a gun pointed at Dominguez or one of his men.

Elliot was counting the number of men in front of him – fourteen, if everyone he could see was everyone that was actually there – and comparing it to the fifteen they had. The numbers were tight, but Elliot was confident that with the element of surprise on their side, they would come out of this successful. That was when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. "Shit," he muttered as the rookie cop stepped out of the warehouse. "Go back inside. It's not time yet."

"NYPD! Everyone drop your weapons and put your hands in the air!" the rookie yelled.

"Fuck," Elliot said, standing up and firing at the group in front of him, who had already started in several directions.

Once the shooting began, Elliot lost track of any sense of time or direction. Bullets were flying by him as he aimed at anybody he could. He was trying to get over to the rookie, who had collapsed after the shots began, but it was proving to be difficult. He'd already been hit once in the chest, but that pain was nothing compared to the pain he felt as a bullet hit him in the back. The force of the strike, along with the propulsion he had from running, sent him flying forward. He hit his head on a rock and everything went blurry.

"He's getting away!" a voice yelled. A pair of feet jumped over him and started running after someone, firing a shot every few seconds.

Elliot put his hand over his head where he'd hit it on the rock and felt blood. It hurt too much to stand, but he managed to crawl over to where the rookie was lying on the ground.

"It's-it's h-hard to b-breathe."

"What's your name?" Elliot asked, wincing at the bullet hole in the kid's chest. A couple of centimeters to either side and the bullet would have hit his vest. Elliot placed his hand over the wound and was instantly reminded of the day Alex was shot. He shook his head, ignored the pounding headache he had, and looked at the kid. "I need you to stay with me, okay? Tell me your name."

"B-Brian. Brian Kayers."

"Okay, Brian. It's going to be okay." He looked around and noticed that the shooting had stopped. Several more police cars had arrived and to his immense relief, Chavez and Dominguez were being put into squad cars. He didn't see Valez, and he wanted to keep looking, but the kid started coughing up blood. "Hold on, Kayers. The ambulence is on its way."

"Did we...catch...the b-bad guys?"

Elliot nodded and put more pressure on the wound. "Yeah. We got 'em."

"Can you...do me...a favor?"

"What is it?"

He took a deep, raspy breath. "Tell my wife...I love her and...I'm sorry."

Elliot shook his head. "No. You can tell her yourself." He shook Brian gently as Brian's head fell to the side. "Do you hear me? You can tell her yourself!"

"Stabler."

Elliot turned around and saw Cragen standing over him, telling him the kid was dead.

"No. He's fine. He was just talking to me. He's fine."

Cragen placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder and pulled him away from the fallen officer. "We need to get you to the hospital. That cut on your forehead looks like it needs stitches."

"I'm fine," Elliot said, pulling away and turning to walk off. Everything was spinning and he would have fallen over if Cragen hadn't caught him.

"Dominguez and Chavez are in custody. Velez is dead."

Elliot blinked. "What?"

"We got all of them."

"Who shot Velez?"

Cragen smirked. "Munch. Apparently he had to jump over you because you fell right in his path. He chased Velez almost to the other side of the marina before shooting him in the head."


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia ran into the emergency room, frantically demanding to know where her husband was. Cragen had assured her that Elliot was fine, but after years of hearing the words "shootout," "fatalities," and "hospital," she had trained herself to be prepared for anything. She heard someone calling her name and turned to see Casey walking towards her.

"He's okay, Liv," Casey said reassuringly as she wrapped her arms around the detective. "He's a little banged up – got shot in the back, which threw him head first into a rock – but they don't even need to keep him overnight."

"He got shot in the back? Cragen said – "

"He was wearing his vest, Liv. He'll be bruised, but he will be fine."

Olivia smoothed out the wrinkles in her pants and followed Casey to Elliot's room. She paused outside the door, afraid of what she would see when she went inside. "Cragen says the set up was a success. Two of the three fatalities came from their sides, right?"

She was stalling. Casey could tell that much. Olivia was a pro at it. She wasn't going to humor her though. Not this time. "Dominguez and Chavez are both in custody. Velez is dead. One guy from each side was killed."

"Including ours."

"Yeah, including ours. But it wasn't Elliot. He's on the other side of that door and he needs you right now. Go in there. Talk to him. I'll wait out here until he's released and then I'll take you guys home."

Olivia shook her head. "Casey, you don't have to –"

"Relax, Liv," Casey said with a gentle smile. "It's the least I could do after I nearly got your husband killed."

"Wait, what?"

Casey shrugged as if the answer were obvious. "I'm the one who made the connections between the guys. I'm the one who agreed to drop the charges against a guy in exchange for his assistance in setting up this whole thing. If it weren't for me..."

Olivia held up her hand to stop Casey's rambling. "If it weren't for you, Velez would still be alive and free and Chavez and Dominguez would be out there on the streets selling drugs to kids. And, assuming we can get all the paperwork straightened out, we'll be able to bring Alex home by the end of the week."

Knowing that she had lost the argument, Casey held up her hands. "Fine. Now go be with your husband. I am driving the two of you home tonight and there is nothing you can do about it."

Olivia was going to argue with her, but Casey opened the door and shoved her inside. For a second, she couldn't breathe. His shirt was filthy, and there was blood on it. The bandage on the left side of his head proved he'd needed stitches. She hated that she hadn't been there when he had gotten them. "Hey, El," she said, walking a little further into the room. When he didn't respond, or even acknowledge her presence, she sat down on the edge of the bed and held his hand. "I don't think you'll be here overnight. Casey's sticking around so she can drive us home."

The sound of her voice pulled him out of his trance, and the images of the dying cop were replaced with her beautiful face. He traced his thumb over her knuckles and smiled sadly. She was bound to have questions, but he knew she wouldn't ask them now. She'd wait a few days, until he was ready. He was grateful for that.

"You look like hell," she said, leaning over and kissing him gently.

"Surviving a shootout tends to do that to a person."

Olivia squeezed his hand and laid beside him. Her broken arm was a bit in the way, but she ignored the pain for the time being. Something had happened tonight. It was clear by the look in his eyes. He had seen something. "I love you," she whispered, closing her eyes and falling asleep.

* * *

"How's the paperwork coming?" Olivia asked three days after the shootout. They were in Casey's office having lunch and discussing the quickest way to get Alex home.

Casey straightened a stack of papers and set them to the side. "It's just about finished. A few more details and we'll be done. Oh, and with any luck, the powers that be will be finished with their paperwork soon and Alex will be able to come home by Thursday."

"Today's Friday."

"Yeah. Like said, we're almost done with our paperwork and they're almost done with theirs. Do you know who's going to tell her? And how?"

Olivia shrugged. "I've got a lot of vacation time built up. Cragen's put Elliot on desk duty for a week and ordered him to talk to Huang. He won't talk to me about whatever it was that he saw that night, but we've been fighting about it a bit. I need to get out of his hair and let him breathe for a while."

"So do you want to be the one to tell her?"

"I think she'd like to hear it from a friend. Maybe I'll fly out there and surprise her. We can rent a car and road trip it back. It could be fun. We've got a lot to catch up on."

Casey smiled and filled out a few more lines of her paperwork. "I think that sounds like a great idea."

"So where are they keeping her these days?"

"I was told she's in Deer Lodge, Montana."

"Montana? What the fuck is in Montana?"

"Apparently a need for high school history teachers."

"Christ."

"Oh there's more."

Olivia groaned. "What?"

"Billings is the closest fairly large airport, and it's a good three or four hours away."

"Oh for fuck's sake. What are they doing to that poor woman?"

"Making her disappear so she stays safe," Casey deadpanned.

Olivia smiled and stood to leave. "I guess I'll fly out to Billings and rent a car there. I don't like the idea of driving for four hours alone – I hate solo road trips – but I'll manage."

"Take at least a week, maybe two or three. You two will have a lot to talk about, I'm sure."

Olivia couldn't be sure, but she thought she detected a hint of sadness in the ADA's voice. She walked over and gave her a small hug. "Thanks for everything, Case."

Casey returned the hug, but didn't smile. She was just glad Olivia couldn't see her face. "Don't mention it."

* * *

"What I don't understand," Elliot said, pacing around Cragen's office, 'is why Brian Kayers was even there in the first place. There's no way he had the kind of experience needed for a job like that."

Cragen sighed. He hated that this was bothering Elliot so much. He hated even more that Elliot had actually watched the kid die. "He had extensive training."

"But not experience!" Elliot yelled. "Training is nothing compared to expreience!"

"He had eight years of training and a good bit of experience on the street."

"He was twenty-five years old! How much experience could he possibly have had?"

Cragen stepped in front of him and looked at him sternly. "Go home, Elliot. Take the rest of the day off."

Elliot scoffed How could Cragen just brush the kid's death off so easily? How could he act like it was just another ordinary day? _He hadn't been there_, Elliot reminded himself. _He didn't see the look in the kid's eyes as he died_. "He had a nine-month-old son and his wife was pregnant with twins. He never should have been there!"

"He volunteered, Elliot!" Cragen yelled, perhaps a bit louder than he intended to. "Nobody forced him to go."

"Well they should have forced him to stop." With that, Elliot grabbed his coat and left.

* * *

The smell was what he noticed when he first walked into the apartment. It was overwhelming, and it was delicious. "My god, Liv, what are you making?"

Olivia wrapped an arm around him as she tossed some spices into the pot. Although her arm was still a bit sore, she was happy she no longer needed the sling. "Chicken Marsala, garlic mashed potatoes, and grilled vegetables."

"Wow. It smells amazing."

"And it'll taste even better. Now, take your coat off and go hop in the shower. By the time you're finished, dinner will be ready."

He hugged her tightly and planted a kiss on top of her head, holding onto her longer than he normally did. He could barely remember his life before she became his partner. They hadn't always worked well together, but as the years passed, they had become closer. When Kathy had left him, convinced he and Olivia were sleeping together, Olivia had been there for him. She was always there for him, and he had no way to tell her how much he loved her for it.

"Are you going to just stand here holding me or are you going to go clean up?"

He laughed and released his grip, turning towards the hallway and walking into the bathroom. He didn't take a long shower, just long enough to wash away the stress of the day. When he came back out, she was just starting to set the table. He started to help, but she stopped him.

"My treat tonight," she told him. "Go sit down. I'll bring it out to you."

"When did you become such a housewife?"

"Watch it, El," she said, raising her eyebrows as she brought out his plate. "And don't get used to this. We'll be back to take out and frozen dinners before you know it."

They ate in relative silence, communicating more with the way they looked at each other than words ever could. They had come to understand just how often – and how well – they could communicate with glances at each other fairly early in their relationship.

* * *

She couldn't believe she was already on the plane. It felt like just yesterday that Casey had told her about the connections she had made between the perps, but it had been nearly two weeks. It all happened so fast. She wasn't looking forward to the six hours of traveling from New York to Billings, including a one-hour layover in Detroit, and then the four hours of driving from Billings to Deer Lodge. But it would all be worth it. Alex was one of her best friends, and she hated that the woman had had to hide for so long.

The flight was pretty typical. They'd hit some minor turbulence here and there, but other than that it went smoothly. She waited in the Budget Rental Car line for over an hour, suddenly grateful that she had chosen a painfully early flight. Now she was hoping to make it to Alex's in time for an early dinner.

Once in her rental car, a four-door Ford Focus, she pulled out onto the highway and floored it. There was no way she would be able to make it all the way without stopping, but she was determined to get there as quickly (and legally, she wasn't about to blow the speed limit and end up in a jail in the middle of nowhere) as possible. She also had to keep reminding herself not to pull off the road and take pictures of the beautiful scenery. There would be plenty of time to do that on the drive home.

Eight and a half hours later, at 7:45, Olivia parked her car in front of Alex's house. It was a small ranch with a large porch and a porch swing. Olivia couldn't tell due to the dim lighting outside, but she was pretty sure the house was yellow. That wasn't like Alex at all. The huge black truck parked in the driveway was also very much not Alex.

"I can do this," she told herself as she climbed out of the car. She repeated it several times as she walked up to the house and knocked on the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone. I'm having a lot of fun with this fic, and I promise more is going to happen soon. Hope you enjoy it. :)**

* * *

"Oh my god," Alex said when she opened the door and saw Olivia standing in the doorway. She nealy dropped the glass of wine she was holding. "How did you...why are you...do you need me to come back to New York to testify or something? Or...please tell me I'm not moving again. I was just starting to like it here."

Olivia frowned and looked around the porch and yard, which were looking more and more country by the second. "Really? This place? It's a bit country, isn't it?"

Alex crossed her arms defensively. "I'm Meredith Axley, from Kentucky," she said with a perfect southern accent.

"And the tank in the driveway?"

"Apparently Meredith likes big cars. They're safer and – never mind. Not that I'm not happy to see you, because you know I am, but why are you here? I thought you weren't told where I was."

Olivia frowned. "I never know where they've got you."

"So you're here to what, tell me I have to move again?"

"I'm afraid so."

Alex took a deep breath and held it. She would not let Olivia see her cry. It made no sense that Olivia was the one standing on her doorstep, telling her it was time to move again, but she wasn't in the mood to make sense of that right now. "Where are they sending me this time?"

Olivia smiled. She was still standing out on the porch and decided she wanted to tell Alex the great news inside. "Why don't you invite me in and offer me something to eat? The drive from Billings was a bit long and I'm starving. We'll eat, and then we'll talk about it." She was kind of having fun playing with Alex. Building up to the big reveal would just make it that much better.

"Olivia, just fucking tell me. Where am I moving to?"

"New York," Olivia answered after a short pause, realizing Alex wasn't in the mood for jokes at the moment.

This time Alex actually dropped her wine glass, jumping as it shattered. Olivia bent down and helped her pick up the larger pieces. She followed Alex into the kitchen and dumped them into the trash. Alex swept up and disposed of the smaller pieces, then sat down on the living room couch next to Olivia.

"Floral couch, Alex? And cottage patterned wallpaper?"

"Kentucky, remember? Now, care to tell me what the hell you're talking about? What do you mean I'm moving back to New York?"

Olivia grinned. "Conners was killed in a car accident four months ago. Ran a red light and got t-boned by a semi. And before you ask, yes we're sure it's him and yes we're sure he's dead." She looked over at Alex and bit her lower lip. "You ready for a bit of a long story?"

"Even if I say no, I guess you're going to tell me. So just go ahead."

Olivia explained everything, from the connections Casey made to the shootout to the arrests of Dominguez and Chavez to the death of Valez. "So, what I'm really saying is that you can come home now. For good."

The news hit Alex like a ton of bricks and she had to lean back into the couch for support. She couldn't believe what Olivia was telling her. Was it possible that it was finally safe enough for her to go home?

"Alex, you okay?"

She blinked several times, trying to dry her eyes so Olivia didn't see the tears in them, and sat back up."You flew out to Billings, then rented a car and drove four hours to this hell hole just to tell me I can come home?"

"I figured you'd like to hear it from a friend. And if you need some time, if you like it here and –"

"Olivia stop it. I've been wanting to hear those words since I was first put into this damn program. Of all the places they've sent me, this is the most isolated. I've never been more alone, and I have never wanted to get into a deep blue state so badly."

"You...want to get out of a red state and into a blue one?"

Alex laughed. "I"m a Republican, Liv, but I'm not a right-wing nut job. I'm very much in the middle of the road. Now, when the hell can I get the hell out of here?"

"Whenever you want. I rented a Ford Focus, which won't hold half your things, but I'm sure we can rent a moving van or something if we need to."

"I'm not taking even half of this stuff," Alex said. She patted the couch and laughed. "Every piece of furniture in this place is going to the charity shop in town. They'll be happy to take it off my hands."

"And what are you going to do when you get back to New York? Your old place is long gone, along with all your furniture."

Alex shrugged. "Yeah, but when I get back to New York I'll be Alexandra Cabot again. And when I'm Alexandra Cabot again I'll have Alexandra Cabot's money again." She watched as Olivia looked away nervously. "I will still have my money, right?"

"Cragen pulled some strings at mine and Elliot's request. He hated it, especially since he thought you were dead, but he managed it. You've got a savings account waiting for you."

"Well then, it's settled. I'll get furniture when we get to New York. I'll stay in a hotel until I find an apartment. Or maybe I'll buy a town home in Manhattan."

"Or you could stay with u-I mean with me," Olivia said.

"How long have you and Elliot been married?"

"I-you-we're not-"

"You're wearing a wedding ring, Liv. Besides, it's obvious how much the two of you love each other. Even before we all knew his marriage to Kathy was definitely over, we knew you two loved each other."

"Just over two years," she said, smiling at the ring on her finger.

"Are you happy?"

"Happier than I've ever been."

* * *

Olivia was up at the crack of dawn. She quietly made her way out into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. As she waited, she walked out to the living room and started looking at the pictures on the mantle above the fireplace. It looked like a running group. Between the six pictures, Olivia guessed there were eleven people all together. Then she noticed that Alex's arms were around the same woman in every picture.

"That's the running group I started," Alex said, walking up behind Olivia. She had a bag of grapes in her hand and popped a few into her mouth.

"They look like a nice group."

"They are."

"This girl you're hanging on in every picture, what's her name?"

Alex looked over and nodded. "Jesse. She didn't want to come out to anybody ever, and I'm not really one to hide things. It didn't work out. Grape?"

Olivia turned around to see Alex sitting on the recliner with her legs tucked under her. In her outstretched hand was the bag of grapes. She couldn't believe how nonchalantly Alex had just come out to her. She said it in the same way she would have said that dogs wag their tails when happy. "Did you just..."

Alex shrugged "Yeah. Wait, don't tell me you're going to get all conservative on me now. I'm trying to get out of this red state and –"

"Relax, Cabot," Olivia said, sitting on the arm of the chair and taking the grapes. She gently nudged Alex and popped a few grapes into her mouth. "We're good."

"Well thank God. I was worried I was about to come home to an even redder area than I'm leaving."

Olivia laughed and leaned into the back of the chair. The news, of course, changed nothing. Alex was, and would always be, one of her best friends. "So I've got this rental car. We can drive to Billings and fly back to New York. Or we can just drive back to New York. Your choice."

Alex thought about it for several minutes. She wasn't a fan of airplanes, but she wanted to get back to New York so she could see everyone again. At the same time, a road trip with Olivia sounded like it could be a lot of fun. She took a deep breath and turned to Olivia. "Why don't we take a semi-road trip?"

"What do you mean?"

"We drive back to New York, but we don't make a ton of stops. We'll take a couple of things out of your itinerary. We'll make a few, of course, but not too many. How about we catch up on things, listen to music, see some sights between here and there? And then you're all buying me dinner and drinks."

Olivia handed the bag of grapes back to Alex and smiled. "That, Miss Cabot, is a wonderful idea."


	5. Chapter 5

"You know, Novak, if you don't cut this out, Olivia's going to kick your ass."

Casey laughed and shook her head. She took a sip of wine and traced the rim of the glass. "I know I should be happy. Chavez and Dominguez are in custody and we've got enough evidence to put them away for the rest of their lives. Valez is dead. The famous Alexandra Cabot is coming home. And I just can't help but feel like I got that kid killed."

"Ballistics showed that it was Dominguez who killed Kayers."

"Yeah. Still doesn't make me feel any better."

Elliot refilled Casey's now empty wine glass before topping off his own. He knew Casey wasn't handling this situation very well. He had a feeling the dead rookie wasn't the only thing that was bothering her, but she hadn't said anything. "You did a great job on this one, Casey. Connecting those names, convincing Reyes to help with the set up. Making it safe for Alex to come home. And you absolutely did not kill that kid."

"Tell that to his wife and kid. And the two kids who are never even going to meet their father."

"Okay, that's it. What's really bothering you?"

Casey downed her wine in one gulp and grabbed her purse. "Thanks for the chat, Elliot. It's been great. See you at work tomorrow."

"You're not driving. You've had three glasses of wine."

She waved her wallet over her head as she walked towards the door. "I'm calling a cab. Tomorrow you're going to drive me back here so I can pick up my car. Bye."

* * *

Elliot hated sleeping alone. Truth be told, he'd never been very good at it, but it had gotten much worse since he had married Olivia. The cases always got to him, especially at night. Having someone to hold as he fell asleep worked wonders. It was hard when she wasn't with him. He felt better knowing that she was out in Montana, talking to Alex and telling her it was safe to come home.

He chuckled at the thought of the look on Alex's face when Olivia showed up on her doorstep. He couldn't wait to see Alex again. It had been years since they'd watched her climb into that car that carried her away.

When Casey had first joined SVU, things had been rough. She was queasy and overly eager at crime scenes. She blamed them when they couldn't get her more evidence. There was no way she would ever replace Alex, and they had made sure to let Casey know that. But time had passed. She had learned. And they had become friends.

"Oh, God," Elliot said, sitting up in bed. He put on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt before slipping on a pair of sneakers. He grabbed his wallet off his end table and walked out the door.

* * *

The pounding on the door only made the pounding in her head worse. She rolled over and looked at the clock on her nightstand. "Two fucking fifteen," she mumbled. She checked her phone and saw that she hadn't missed any calls. Anyone on work business would have called her before coming to her apartment. Her first thought was to just ignore it, but when the pounding didn't stop, she threw on a sweatshirt before grabbing her softball bat and walking towards the door.

"I have popcorn, M&Ms, and pretzels. They go great together."

"Elliot?" she asked, opening the door.

"What's with the bat?"

"It's two in the morning, Elliot. What kind of idiot would I be if I answered the door at two in the morning without it?" She leaned the bat against the wall and sat down on the couch. "Now I've got a massive migraine, so unless there's some case you just found evidence for –"

"Here," he said, tossing her a bottle of aspirin. He walked into her kitchen and brought out a large mixing bowl and two glasses of water. He watched to make sure she took the pills before putting the snacks in the bowl.

"Care to tell me what you're doing here?"

He took a handful of the snack mix and leaned back. "After your first case, Olivia and I went out for drinks and talked about how much we missed Cabot. We couldn't stand you, especially after...well, you remember that search in the apartment."

She took a sip of water and picked out a few M&Ms. "The Great Alexandra Cabot. Those were some impossibly big shoes to fill. And boy did you all let me know exactly how you felt."

"We told you that you'd never replace her, that you'd never be as good as her."

"Exactly."

He sat up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, frowning when she just stared straight ahead. "There is no replacing Alexandra Cabot. But you know what? There's also no replacing Casey Novak."

"That's so kind of you to say, detective. You drive all the way over here to tell me that?"

"I did." He grabbed another handful and leaned back into the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "You've been off ever since you figured out a way to get Velez. And I know there's something besides Kayers' death that's bothering you."

"Do you now?"

"I do."

She sighed and turned to face him. "Look, I really appreciate you coming over, but I'm fine. You should go home and get some sleep. We shouldn't both have a sleepless night."

He shrugged and put his hands behind his head. "Liv's out in Montana. That kid's dying face is the only thing I see when I close my eyes. Trust me. I'm not sleeping tonight either."

"That kid never should have been there."

"No, he shouldn't. But he was there, and there's nothing we can do about it now."

She leaned back into the couch and took several bites of the snack mix. There was no way she would ever admit it, but she was glad Elliot was there. As happy (and, truthfully, damn proud) as she was about what she had just accomplished, she was nervous. Alexandra Cabot was the best damn ADA anyone had ever known. True, they respected her, but she knew they would always pick Alex over her.

"Whatever it is you're thinking, you're wrong."

"There's no way you could possibly know what I'm thinking, so there's no way you could possibly know if I'm wrong."

He took a deep breath and paused for a minute. "Alex was – is – one of our best friends. We love her and we respect her. She was a great ADA. When you came in and took her place, we did everything we could to piss you off so you would leave."

"Yeah, I remember that. It wasn't exactly the happiest time of my life."

"Well, you stuck it out. And you're damned good at what you do. Don't worry, Novak. Your job's not in any danger. Alex may want it back, but she won't take it from you. And we'd never ask it of either of you."

* * *

"So, you ready to go?" Olivia asked. It had been three days since she arrived on Alex's doorstep. Alex had packed up her belongings, donating most of them to charity.

"I've quit my job, said my good-byes, and packed my things. I am absolutely ready for this road trip." She picked up a suitcase and looked expectantly at Olivia. "Any chance I've got access to my money yet?"

Olivia pulled her wallet out of her purse and pulled out a credit card. "I figured you'd be after it at some point. I'll give it to you on one condition."

"You're giving me a condition to use my own money?"

"I am. You are not to pay for everything...ever. This road trip is going to be fifty-fifty the entire way. From food to any activities, to the hotels."

"Hotels? I don't stay in anything less than –"

"I've got enough to spend up to one hundred dollars per night as long as we don't go over seven nights. A two hundred dollar hotel room is pretty decent."

Alex licked her lips and picked up another suitcase. Olivia knew she'd pay for the most expensive hotel possible. And Olivia didn't accept charity. "Fine. But you have to help me get my things in the car. And you're driving the first leg. I want to take in the sights."

Olivia picked up Alex's third and final suitcase, amazed that after all this time Alex was only taking three suitcases. She claimed she wanted to leave this life behind and get back to her old one. "I did some research on the plane and figured out a general route to get us home. It should take about a week, as long as we don't stop for too long in any one place."

Alex put her two suitcases into the trunk and climbed into the passenger's seat. "It still hasn't really sunk in, you know? I still can't believe you're here talking to me, telling me I can come home. It's so surreal."

Olivia climbed into the driver's seat and pulled out of the driveway. She reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper. "Here. It's the itinerary I came up with on the plane. Tell me what you think."

Alex looked at the piece of paper and smiled. "You were busy."

"It was a long flight."

"From her to Rapid City. It's an eight and a half hour drive. And we'll see Mount Rushmore. I definitely like that idea."

"You ever seen it?"

Alex shook her head. "My parents took me to Paris, Prague, Cairo, Sydney. You name it, I've been there. So long as it's not in this country. Apparently, America's not cultural enough to warrant a visit."

"Grand Canyon?"

"Nope."

"Yellowstone National Park?"

"Nope."

"Space Needle?"

"Before Witness Protection, in this country, I'd never been west of the Mississippi, south of Virginia, or north of Buffalo."

Olivia laughed. "Well, we've got some vacations to plan."

Alex leaned her head against the window and looked out at the passing scenery. "It's beautiful out here. That's probably the only thing I'll miss. The scenery is amazing." A few minutes of silence followed as she watched everything that passed. "But I am beyond excited about coming home."

"Yeah?"

"More than you know."

"Well we're glad you're coming home, too."

* * *

Casey was going over her notes for a case she was about to close. It was fairly slam dunk. Sixteen-year-old girl was beaten and raped. She identified the attacker as her ex-boyfriend, and his DNA matched the semen found insider her and the blood under her fingernails. The only problem she could see was that the defense was going to bring up Angela's sexual history. It wasn't pretty and she knew they had people who would say Angela liked it rough. Still, she was confident she'd get the bastard.

She hated that she was even having doubts about this. She rarely had doubts, especially when she had this much evidence. It was the fact that Alex was coming back. That was what she kept telling herself anyway. As confident as she was, she still couldn't shake the words that had been said to her when she'd first started. It was silly, she knew, but she couldn't help it.

* * *

"You finished your notes on the Angela Bailey case?"

Casey stabbed her fork into her salad and took a large bite. "Elliot, you'd better be careful buying me all these lunches or Olivia's going to get jealous."

"My understanding is that the two of you buy each other lunch once or twice a week. I think I'm the one who should be jealous."

She closed her eyes and picked up a manilla folder. "The notes are done. I'm fairly certain it'll be quick and painless."

He picked up a few french fries and nodded. "With all the evidence we've brought you, I'm sure you'll do just fine."

She smiled, hesitating briefly. "Thanks. I mean it. These last few days...you're a good friend. I'm okay though. Not going to lie and say it's been easy, but I am okay."

"I know you are. You're a good lawyer, Casey. Don't ever forget that." He finished his lunch while she finished hers. Neither said anything.

"You heard from Liv lately?"

"She and Alex called from Mount Rushmore yesterday. They're having a great time. Liv told me to tell you to watch out though."

"Oh?"

"Apparently Alex is going to take you out for dinner as a way of saying thanks."


	6. Chapter 6

**Just realized I never put in a disclaimer. Oops. Here it is. I own nothing. Dick owns everyone. This makes me quite sad, but there's really nothing I can do about it. :)**

* * *

They were in Cleveland at a five-star Italian restaurant. Alex had finally convinced Olivia to let her pay for a nice dinner. They had arrived two days earlier and had spent their time relaxing and walking around the city. It had been a lot of fun. Olivia had eagerly gushed about the wedding.

"I wish I had been there," Alex told her.

"So do I." She pulled out a wedding picture from her wallet and handed it to her. "There were far too many horrible ones of us, but we found one we did like."

Alex raised her eyebrows and took the picture. "Horrible pictures? Of the two of you? Not possible." She looked down at the picture and smiled. "Liv, you look absolutely beautiful."

"It was the happiest day of my life. Truth be told, I never thought I'd ever get married. Not with my...complicated history."

Alex scoffed. "Oh please. You're smart. You're funny. You're hot. Trust me, Liv. You're a great catch."

"And I'm the child of a rape. Guys don't tend to stick around after hearing that. I think my baggage freaks them out a bit. And no, not telling them is not an option. It's a part of who I am."

Alex put her menu down and handed Olivia the picture. "Of course it is. And any guy who left you because of where you came from was an idiot. However, be glad they were all idiots. Because now you've got Elliot."

Olivia nodded and waved their waitress over. "In that way, I am lucky."

"Are you ready to order?" the waitress asked.

"We are. I'm going to have the lobster ravioli. Alex?"

'House salad. Vinaigrette dressing on the side."

Olivia watched the waitress walk away and looked over at Alex. "That's all you're having? You told me earlier you were starving."

"I've been eating like a pig ever since we started this trip. I'm in the mood for a salad."

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. "You skipped breakfast and had a salad for lunch."

"Correction. I slept through breakfast and had a chicken caesar salad with extra parmesean cheese. Now, I'm in the mood for a nice house salad."

"Okay," Olivia said, throwing her hands up in the air. "But you're trying some of my ravioli. At least a bite."

"Fine. I'll have a bite."

* * *

Everyone was waiting in the squad room. Olivia had called an hour ago, telling Elliot they were two hours away and asking him to get everyone ready. Cragen, Elliot, Munch, and Fin were waiting anxiously in the entrance of the room. Casey was in her office, deciding that it was best to be out of the way for the happy family reunion.

The doors opened quickly and the room erupted into cheers as the two women walked inside. Before she even realized what was happening, Alex found herself hugging all the guys, with tears streaming down her face. "You guys have no idea how happy I am to be back."

"And you've got no idea how happy we are to have you back," Elliot told her.

Cragen grabbed his jack and turned to her. "How do you feel about a night out? Our treat?"

Alex shook her head. "I thought you didn't drink."

"I don't. I was thinking I'd be the designated driver for all you kids." He shrugged and smiled. "Besides, it'll be really nice to go out with you. If you're not too tired from the drive, of course."

"Sounds great." She looked around, her eyes finally landing on Elliot. "Where's Casey? She's the whole reason I'm here right now. She should be celebrating with us."

Elliot put his arm around her and led her out of the squad room, with everyone else following behind them. "She called and said she had a headache, but she'll come celebrate with us another time."

* * *

"So there we are, sitting in this dive bar in Omaha, when he just reaches over and kisses me," Alex told everyone. They all had questions about her time in the program, and she decided that since it was her first night back, she'd focus on the fun times she had. "I'd never spoken a word to this guy, though I had seen him around before. Anyway, my date came out of the bathroom just in time to see him grab my head and kiss me."

Elliot laughed. "What did he do when he saw it?"

"She smacked him across the face and told him to stay the hell away from me." She took a sip of her margarita and looked around at everyone, trying to gauge their reactions. As far as she could tell, nobody seemed to be offended or upset.

"Man, you owe me fifty bucks," Fin said, breaking the silence that had followed Alex's confession. He held out his hand as Munch placed a handful of bills into it.

"Are you guys betting on my sexuality?"

"Fin was sure you were gay," Munch said. "I wasn't so sure. Thought it was a possibility, but I was leaning more towards you being straight."

Alex laughed and finished her drink. "I should have known."

"So what happened with this girl?" Elliot asked.

"She liked to...have fun. Lots of drinking, which I was okay with at first, but it got out of hand pretty quickly. Add onto that the fact that she seemed to enjoy every woman in town, and I just wasn't having it."

Munch handed her another drink and clinked his against it. "Well, I'm sure there are plenty of hot women in New York. My money's on another blonde."

Fin pulled out his wallet and looked at Munch. "Twenty bucks says it's a red head."

* * *

"The people request remand, your Honor," Casey said.

"Your Honor, this is ridiculous," April Souther, the defense attorney, said. "My client has no priors. His financial situation is less than desirable, so he's not a flight risk. Besides, none of the prosecution's witnesses can identify him as their attacker."

"Because he never said a single word to them, _and_ they're all blind," Casey argued. "One of our witnesses identified him by following the sound of his footsteps until they reached his door. She knew how far away his apartment was from his. He lives two doors down from her."

April rolled her eyes. "This witness said she never left her apartment, said she 'listened to which apartment he went into.'"

"This victim was able to tell us which apartment one of our detectives walked into from her apartment based on the number of steps they took and how far away the sound of the door was. They walked into every apartment on her floor – eight in all not including hers – and she was right each and every time."

"That's circumstantial –"

"Enough," Judge Donnelly said. "Bail is set at five hundred thousand dollars. Court will reconvene next Monday at nine a.m."

* * *

Casey was more confident about this case than she had been in a while, especially since her previous one with the girl's ex-boyfriend hadn't panned out the way she wanted it to. Peter Anderson had stalked, raped, and brutally beaten four blind women over the course of two months. The last woman, Samantha Torres, had been able to identify him because he hadn't left her unconscious like he had the other three. When Olivia and Elliot had found him in the park, they found Samantha's diamond earrings, as well as jewelery stolen from the other victims, in his pockets.

"That'll be enough for a search warrant for his house," Casey said to herself as she walked into her office.

"What will?"

Casey screamed and dropped her files. She quickly turned on the light and found Alexandra Cabot sitting on her couch. "What the...how did you..."

_Fuck that's one hot ADA_, Alex thought as she stood up. "The security guard and I are pretty tight. I used to bring him coffee in the mornings. After he let me through, I didn't have much trouble finding my way up here."

Casey eyed her nervously and laid her files down. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against her desk. "Care to tell me what you're doing in my office? It is _my_ office, you know."

"And I wouldn't dream of taking it from you."

"That's fine. I have no intention of letting you take it from me."

"Good."

"Good."

Alex sighed and walked over to Casey. "Look, I had six jobs in five states in the nearly three years I was in witness protection. One of them was as a sign language interpreter and yes, I'm fluent in sign language. I've done some research and there's an opening for that exact position here in Manhattan. You're not going to lose your job. Not to me, at least."

Casey offered a half smile as she met Alex's eyes. _Damn she's even more beautiful than I remember. _"Well that's good to know. I wasn't really planning on letting you take it. Any chance you're actually going to tell me what you're doing here in my office?"

Alex laughed. "I've been back for six days and haven't been able to even say the two words I've been wanting to say to you since Olivia showed up on my doorstep."

"And what would those two words be?"

"Thank you," she said firmly, taking Casey's wrist and feeling the butterflies that came with the contact. "What are you doing tonight?"

"You mean besides going over case notes and not sleeping?"

"Let me take you out to dinner. And before you object, hear me out. I was in that program for almost three years and during that time the only thing I ever thought about was coming home. It was the one thing that kept me going. Then, two weeks ago, Olivia shows up on my doorstep and tells me I can finally come home. And _you_ are the reason I am Alexandra Cabot again."

"It really wasn't that big of a deal. I was just following a lead."

Alex sighed and dropped Casey's wrist. "I read the file. You did a hell of a lot to bring me home. I'm standing here in _your_ office because of you. I'm home. And I would really, really like to take you out to dinner."

Casey bit her lower lip and nodded. "Okay."

* * *

"Casey texted me about an hour ago," Olivia said as she and Elliot climbed into the bathtub together. She leaned into him and pulled his arms around her. "Apparently Alex got through security and showed up at her office demanding to take her out to a nice dinner."

Elliot laughed and massaged her arms and shoulders. "And by nice we're talking Alexandra Cabot nice, right? Not nice like what you and I do on occasion."

"She told me it was a five-star restaurant whose name she could neither spell nor pronounce. Alex texted me from the bathroom asking me why the hell I didn't tell her Casey was so hot."

"You think she's gonna ask her out?"

Olivia shrugged. As far as I know, Casey's straight." She took a deep breath and thought for a moment, leaning into Elliot's chest as she did so. "I mean, I've never really heard her mention going on a date before. She's told me she's been on them after the fact, but I've never heard her telling me she was going to go out on one."

"She give you any details about these dates?"

"Nope. Just that they didn't work out."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it."

Elliot smiled and pulled the stopper out of the drain. "So it's entirely possible that those dates were with men or women, right?"

"I guess it is. Is there a reason we're discussing Casey's sexuality?"

Elliot shrugged. "Munch and Fin have another bet going. I just trying to determine whether or not I should try to get in on it."


	7. Chapter 7

"My first identity was Karen Cooper, kindergarten teacher, in a small town just outside of Atlanta. I spent the entire drive down there from New York and the two days I had before I started teaching studying who I was."

Casey smiled as she took a bite of her chicken parmesan. She was doing her best not to stare at the beautiful woman sitting across from her, but it was nearly impossible. Alex was wearing a deep red spaghetti strap dress with a simple yet elegant diamond necklace and tennis bracelet. Her hair was straightened and hung down around her shoulders. "That must have been hard," she forced herself to say. She didn't want to get caught staring.

"I studied those notes every night for weeks," Alex admitted. "I was so afraid I was going to forget a detail or get one wrong. It didn't really matter though, because by the time I was positive I knew all the details, I had to move again." She took a long sip of wine and shook her head. Cassandra Novak was stunning in her black halter dress, with her long hair hanging behind her shoulders. Alex found her incredibly easy to talk to. The wine was definitely helping, but she had a feeling most of it had to do with Casey's engaging personality. "But enough about me. Tell me about you."

"Well, I guess you know how long I've been here. I started about two weeks after you died. And when I first arrived, everyone was less than friendly. Trust me when I tell you that I was very much not wanted."

Alex shook her head. "That doesn't sound like them at all. What, did you do something to piss them off? Rumor has it you can be quite stubborn."

"Only thing I did wrong was not be you."

Alex choked on her food. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, please. You had everyone in the precinct in love with you. I was new and inexperienced. You were their friend and you had a lot of experience and history with them. Now why on earth would they want me around instead of you?"

Alex looked away nervously. She hadn't expected such a confession. "Well, I'm uh, I'm glad I was at least a little difficult to replace."

"You're not difficult to replace, Alex. You're impossible to replace."

* * *

Casey walked into the precinct quickly. She had gotten an urgent call saying she needed to get down there ASAP. Apparently they needed to search a rape suspect's car. "Tell me you have enough evidence for a warrant."

"Our witness described the attacker as a white male, early thirties, with brown hair and green eyes. Said the victim was dragged into a light blue Chevrolet sedan, but she wasn't sure which model it was. Our victim's neighbor meets this description and drives a light blue Chevrolet Corsica."

"Can anyone place him at the crime scene?"

Elliot hesitated. "There were prints on the duct tape he used, but they don't match anyone in the system. That's it though, because the victim was grabbed, pulled into the car, and the car sped away. All we really have is the dumps site."

"Okay, does he have an alibi?"

"Claims he was at the movie theater. He provided a ticket stub for the 7:30 showing of Alice in Wonderland. The theater just so happens to be seven blocks from the dump site though. Nobody at the theater specifically remembers seeing him, but it was opening night of the movie, so that's not too surprising. They'd have trouble picking out anybody from that night."

Casey sighed. "Does he have any connection to the victim?"

Olivia shook her head. "Just that they live on the same street. He claims he doesn't know her."

"So nobody can place him at the crime scene, he has no motive, he has a ticket stub that proves he was at least at the theater at 7:30. What's the time of death?"

Olivia flipped through the file on her desk. "Warner says between eight and midnight. The movie was over by 9:30 if you give ten or fifteen minutes of previews."

"Any idea where our guy went after the movie?"

"Witnesses placed him at a bar at 9:45."

"The bar three blocks from the movie theater?"

Olivia nodded. "He had opportunity. All he had to do was buy a ticket to create an alibi. Then he had two hours until he had to be at the bar to establish his second alibi."

Casey paced back and forth, trying to put together everything they had told her. The only thing the suspect and the victim had in common was that they lived on the same street. The victim had been kidnapped, raped, strangled, and dumped in the park. Everything happened within eleven blocks of the movie theater. She just couldn't figure out what Blake Ryan had to do with Keely Smith. "Does he have any priors?"

"Nope. We ran his name and nothing came up."

Casey nodded and walked towards the door. "We've got nothing, guys. Sorry."

Elliot stood up from his desk and started towards her. "Casey, this guy's dirty. He did it."

"And until you can get me some evidence that proves it, I can't do anything for you."

* * *

"Please tell me that's not office coffee," Casey said with a sigh. Alex was standing in her doorway with two cups of coffee in her hands. "And then you can tell me why you're here."

"Coffee shop, down the street." Alex placed a cup in front of Casey and sat down in the chair next to the desk. "Let me guess. They don't have enough evidence but they're blaming you because you can't get them a warrant."

Casey took a sip of the coffee and smiled, pleased that it wasn't the sludge the office called coffee. "That's pretty much it. Though I guess you've been in this position more often than I have."

"I thought your Peter Anderson case was rock solid."

"No, that one I've got. Anderson tried to rape another blind woman. She got away and took a chunk of his hair and scalp with him. His ass is mine."

"Awesome. I love it when that happens. What's this new case?"

"Uh, I can't really talk to you about open cases."

Alex laughed. "Yeah, I know. I'm no longer an officer of the court. I'm just curious."

Casey decided to indulge her. She knew being away from her cases would be difficult, and it was only normal for Alex to be curious. "A woman was kidnapped, raped, strangled, and dumped in the park. Witness described the attacker and the car. The victim's neighbor matches the description and has a car similar to the one the witness saw."

"But he's got an alibi. It's probably shaky, but he's got one. No real connection to the victim. No apparent motive, though motive doesn't always exist in these kinds of crimes. How am I doing so far?"

"So far so good."

"I've gotta say that's the part of the job I don't miss. Trying to get warrants when I've got no evidence to get them."

"Yeah, they're not very happy with me right now. I'm planning on going over my notes with a fine toothed comb tonight. I know they've given me everything they've got. Now I have to see if I can make sense of it."

Alex nodded and sat back in the chair. She almost missed working these cases. Then she reminded herself that it was these cases that nearly got her killed. Still, she couldn't help but want to participate a little. "Why don't we go out for a drink? I'll pick over your notes and see if I can find something."

Casey hesitated, and found that she was more nervous to have drinks with Alex than she was to show her the case file. That surprised her. "Alex, I don't know."

"You know none of what's in that file will get out. Come on, Casey. Let me look. If I can't be the ADA anymore, maybe I can be the ADA's assistant."

Casey sighed and looked down at the stack of papers in front of her. She knew what evidence she had and she hadn't been able to put anything together. Without a warrant, Andrew Conroy was going to walk. "These notes are all I've got. I'd rather not risk taking them out and discussing them in public."

"Okay, your place or mine?"

"Uh, beg your pardon?"

Alex laughed. "I know you don't want to spend all night here in your office. If you don't want to go out to a bar or restaurant, the only logical place to go is either your place or mine."

Casey smiled. The woman had a a point. And fuck she was hot. There was no denying that. "Do you even have a place yet? You've only been back for two weeks."

"Uh, yeah. It's one of the...benefits of being a Cabot. I've got a town home in Manhattan." She shrugged and shook her head. "But if you're more comfortable at your place, we can certainly go there."

"My apartment's being renovated. Guy above me tried to flush a bunch of heroin down the toilet and it clogged. Then it overflowed. Then it leaked into my living room. He's getting new flooring. I'm getting a new ceiling and couch."

"Damn. Let me know if you need any help with that."

Casey looked up from her notes, surprised and a bit taken aback by the offer. "I'm fine. The repairs aren't coming out of my wallet and a new couch isn't that expensive."

"Well then, Miss Novak, why don't you accompany me to my place to have a few drinks and go over your severe lack of evidence?"

This was new territory for Casey, and she wasn't sure how to handle it. Everyone before had usually been interested in only thing: sex. Guys didn't like to talk at all, while some of the women liked to chat a bit, but sex was always the goal. Alex seemed different. She couldn't explain why, but she felt it. Alex definitely didn't feel like she was just after sex. "Okay," she said softly. "Your place it is."

* * *

Olivia and Elliot were just about to sit down for dinner – lasagna fresh from the freezer – when Olivia's phone rang. She rolled her eyes, annoyed at how often their dinners were interrupted. "Benson."

"Hey, Liv, it's Casey."

"Oh hey, Case. What's up?"

"Do you have a minute?"

"Uh yeah, hang on a sec." She excused herself from the table, mouthing a quick "sorry" to Elliot, and walked into the bedroom. "You okay?"

"Alex brought me coffee tonight. Then she offered to go over my notes to see if she could come up with anything." She swallowed and started pacing around her office. "She offered to take me out for drinks. I...I think she's trying to ask me out on a date."

Olivia laughed. "Do you want to date her?"

"I don't do dating."

"Why not?"

"Olivia, you know why not."

"Casey, take her up on the offer. See what happens."

"Olivia –"

"Don't argue with me, Casey. You've dated before and you know it. Now I know things didn't work out in the past, but you picked some real losers back then. Alex...she's not like anyone you've ever met. If you're at all interested, give her a chance. And know that she's...she's safe, Casey. Go out with her. You might be surprised."

Casey swallowed nervously. "She just texted me. She's outside waiting."

"Go, Casey," Olivia urged.

"Okay. Wish me luck."

"Have fun, sweetie. Call me if you need anything, no matter what time it is." She hung up and slipped her phone back into her pocket. Casey was nervous, and Olivia knew she had good reasons to be. Her past was a terrifying nightmare, and Olivia hated that her friend had been through so much. She would do anything to help her.

"Who was that?" Elliot asked as Olivia walked back out into the dining room.

"Casey."

"Everything okay? You seem a little upset."

"Yeah. She's okay. Alex may have asked her out on a date. Casey wasn't really sure if it was a date or if Alex just wants to hang out."

Elliot took a slow, deep breath and put his napkin in his lap. He only knew the bare bones of Casey's past, and that was enough to understand what a date meant to her. "Well that's a tricky situation."

"It is, but I have to say that Alex is probably the safest person for her."

"Assuming Casey's gay."

"I think she is."

"What makes you say that?"

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know. Just how she's responding to Alex. If I know Alex as well as I think I do, she's just trying for friendship first. No way she asks someone out this quickly after meeting them."


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

**

* * *

**Casey followed Alex into the living room of the brownstone. It took all of her strength to prevent her mouth from hanging open. It was easily the most luxurious setting she had ever seen. "Do I even want to know how much this couch cost?"

Alex smiled warmly. "Probably not."

"More than a month's rent at my apartment?"

"Depends on what you're paying, but uh, probably."

"Nine-fifty a month."

"Oh."

"More than a month?"

Alex licked her lips and sat down. She knew how much ADAs made. What was expensive to Casey was pennies to her. "More than quite a few months. But enough about expenses. Have a seat. I'll fix us some drinks and we'll go over this pesky case of yours."

'Mind if I help with the drinks?" She was a little more eager than she wanted to be, but there was no way in hell she was letting anyone fix her a drink without her watching.

"Not at all. Kitchen's this way."

Casey followed Alex into a kitchen that was almost as big as her entire apartment. She walked over to the refrigerator and looked around, finally deciding on cranberry juice.

"Plain or raspberry?"

Casey turned around to see Alex holding up two bottles of vodka. Behind her was the largest liquor cabinet she had ever seen. "Damn. You've got a liquor wall."

"I like my booze," Alex said simply, still holding the vodka bottles.

"Cranberry with raspberry sounds like a good combination right now."

Alex grinned and put the plain vodka back in the cabinet. "It's one of my favorites." She poured the vodka into her own glass and then handed the bottle to Casey. Something in Casey's tone when she asked to help with the drinks told her that the woman would probably prefer to fix her own. "Take as much as you want."

Grateful that she was able to fix her own drink without having to ask, Casey filled her glass with about one third vodka and two thirds cranberry juice. She put the rest of the juice back in the fridge and turned to Alex. "Ready to go over a whole lot of no evidence?"

"Absolutley."

They made their way into the living room and sat down on the couch, the file between them. Casey was glad they had something separating them. She didn't want to be too close to someone she was this attracted to. She didn't really want to be this attracted to anyone, but that was something she would deal with later.

Alex flipped through Casey's notes, immediately understanding Casey's annoyance with the case. The victim was dead. The only physical evidence they had was the fingerprints found on the duct tape that had been used to hold the victim's hands behind her back. "Were you able to get your witness in for a line up?"

"Yeah. She picked out Cragen's younger brother." Casey shrugged. "She didn't really get a very good look at him."

"Considering how dark it was out, I'm surprised she saw as much as she did." She leaned back and thought about everything. This certainly wasn't going to be an easy case. "Hey, has anyone asked him about the movie?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you seen it?"

"Uh, no. What does that have to do with anything?"

"We should go."

"Say what now?"

Alex laughed and organized the papers in front of her. "Look, there's nothing here. You know that as well as I do. Now, your suspect claims to have seen the movie while the attack happened. We should go see the movie, take a few notes, and then have Liv and Elliot question him about it."

Casey hesitated. "We could just look it up online."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" She grinned and grabbed Casey's hand. "Come on. Let's go out."

"I don't date," Casey said firmly, quickly pulling her hand out of Alex's grasp.

"Okay," Alex said slowly. "I wasn't trying to ask you out." _Not yet anyway, _she thought. Casey's quick reaction surprised her, so she decided to move slowly. She closed her eyes and gathered her thoughts. "You obviously know I'm gay." She waited for Casey to nod before she continued. "On the trip home, Olivia talked about you non-stop."

"About what?" Casey asked nervously.

"Nothing personal, don't worry. She just talked about how much you've grown on everyone. They weren't pleased with you at first, I know. But she really loves you. And anyone Olivia loves, I love." She smiled and tilted her head so she could look at Casey in the eyes. "I want you and I to be friends. I'm not asking you out. I just...You brought me home, Casey. You brought me home and..."

Casey saw that Alex had tears in her eyes and she nervously reached out and held her hand. "I don't date. At all. I have my reasons and I don't feel like getting into them right now. But I think I can add one more friend to my list."

* * *

"Oh my God," Olivia said, taking a bite of ice cream as she sat down with Elliot on the couch.

"What? Everything okay?"

"Casey's going out to a movie with Alex."

"Are you serious?"

Olivia nodded. "She claims it's for research though. She's taking notes with Alex and they're going to bring them by the precinct tomorrow morning."

Elliot swallowed his ice cream slowly and tried to think. It was a few moments before he spoke. "We can bring him in for questioning again. We won't arrest him, of course. We'll just tell him we've got a few more questions. He's been wonderfully helpful so far."

"And once he's in there we can use Alex and Casey's notes to ask him about the movie."

"Exactly."

Olivia sighed. "Casey seemed nervous, but at least she's actually going out, you know? At least she's finally going out."

* * *

"Okay, Shawn," Olivia said, sitting down across from the man she knew was guilty of rape and murder. She pulled a piece of paper out of her folder and looked over it, then passed it to Elliot. Casey had dropped it off earlier this morning, and now she was standing on the other side of the two-way mirror, hoping that they found something this time. She didn't think they were going to get another chance at this guy. "We just have a few more questions."

Shawn leaned back in his chair and shrugged. "Sure. I want to help. If I can do anything to help you guys find who killed that lady, I'll do it."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Now, you said you saw the 7:30 showing of 'Alice in Wonderland'," right?"

"Yeah. And then I went to the bar."

Elliot shook his head. "Then why can't anybody remember seeing you at the theater?"

"There were hundreds of people there. It was a Friday night, and it was opening night for that movie. There's no possible way you could have spoken to every single person who was there, so there's no way you could know whether or not anyone saw me."

"He's got a good point, Elliot."

"Yeah, I guess he does."

She turned to look at Shawn. "Do me a favor, will you?"

"Sure."

"Tell me about the movie."

"What do you mean?"

It was brief, but she noticed it. Shawn had just hesitated. "What was it about?"

"Uh, girl falls down a rabbit hole, meets a smoking, talking caterpillar and a disappearing cat. There's an evil queen of hearts. You know the drill."

He was definitely getting nervous. Elliot looked at the notes in front of him. "Yeah, we do know. But humor us a little. Can you remember any lines from the movie?"

"Not specific ones. I didn't pay that much attention.

"What was Alice doing before she fell down the rabbit hole?"

"Does it matter?"

"It kinda does."

"She was reading a book and got bored."

Olivia smiled. "What about the rabbit...the one who's always late?"

Shawn laughed. "Yeah, yeah. I remember him. He's always running around saying, 'I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date.'"

"Yes he is. Do you recall how many times he said it?"

"No idea. I didn't keep track."

"Guess. Five? Ten? Twenty?"

"I don't know, maybe ten."

Olivia nodded at Elliot. "What happened at the end?"

"Why are you asking me so many questions about the movie? I don't understand how that's going to help find the killer. I didn't pay that much attention anyway. I just wanted to hang out somewhere where it wasn't so damn hot. It's been hot out for a while and –"

"Still, you must have caught some of it. Why don't you just tell me what happened at the end?"

"She went home."

"Before that. Did she do anything significant?"

Elliot shook his head when he saw Shawn rubbing his hands through his head. They had him right where they wanted him. "You never saw the movie, did you?"

"What? Of course I did. You saw my ticket stub."

"Yeah, we did. But you know what? It's really easy to buy a movie ticket and walk right out of the theater. Though I guess you already know that, seeing as how that's exactly what you did that night."

Elliot and Olivia stood up and walked out of the interrogation room. They wanted him to sit in there alone for a while so they could talk to Casey. "So, what do you think?" Olivia asked.

Casey looked into the room and saw how nervous Shawn was. "He matches the witness' description. He drives the same car. You just proved his alibi was practically non-existent. I'll get you your warrant, don't worry."

* * *

"Thanks for inviting me over, you guys," Alex said, taking a sip of her wine as she sat down on the recliner in Elliot and Olivia's living room. "It's been way too long since we've done a movie night."

Elliot smiled and stood up to leave. "It has been too long. And you'd better believe that now that you're home, we'll be doing it a lot more often." He gave Olivia a light kiss and winked at Alex. "Now I'm going to let you two ladies chat while I catch up on some paperwork. Good night."

He was gone before Alex had time to respond. She looked over at Olivia, throwing her a confused look. "What was that all about?"

Olivia sighed and patted the empty seat on the couch next to her. She waited until Alex sat down to talk. "How much time have you been spending with Casey?"

"Not as much as I'd like, unfortunately. She's busy as hell, though I know why. I was there too once. I know what her schedule's like." She sighed and traced the rim of her wine glass. "She's...different. I like her, Liv. I actually really, _really_ like her. But she told me she doesn't date."

Olivia nodded. "She has..." her voice trailed off. She wasn't about to tell Alex about Casey's past, but she had to say something. She didn't want Alex to move too quickly and push Casey away forever. "Move slowly with her. She's loyal and you will not believe what a great friend she will be to you. But you really need to move slowly with her."

Alex looked over and met Olivia's eyes. There was definitely a sadness there. "Something happened to her, didn't it? Something bad?"

Olivia bit her lower lip and nodded. "I can't tell you what it was. It's not my place. Just know that you have to be careful when you're with her. Be her friend, but don't flirt. Don't talk about dating. Just, treat her like you treat me, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Given the kind of person you are, I'm sure you'll gain her trust. It'll just take time."

Alex smiled and gave a quick nod. "She's the reason I'm home, Olivia. I'd do anything for her. I'll move at a snail's pace if I have to. I don't care. She's the reason I'm home and I am going to spend the rest of my life thanking her for it."


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them. Also, thanks for all the reviews. They really mean a lot. :)**

* * *

Olivia and Elliot weren't thrilled to be looking through Shawn Adamsen's van. There were fast food wrappers everywhere. Some still had bits of food stuck to them. Olivia could have sworn she saw one of the food bits move. "Do you think he ever ate anywhere besides this van?" she asked as she tossed another Burger King bag into the pile.

Elliot held up a used condom and laughed. "Do you think he ever had sex anywhere besides this van? This has got to be the tenth condom I've found." He handed it off to one of the CSU guys and continued looking. "How many have you found?"

"Burger King bags? Twelve. Eight McDonalds bags. Oh, and six condoms."

"None of this is going to help. There wasn't any DNA on our vic. Hopefully they'll find some finger prints on –"

"Look at this, El," Olivia said, picking up a pair of woman's underwear. "Our vic didn't have any on. She was otherwise fully clothed so we didn't think anything of it."

"We all know how much these guys love to keep something that belongs to their victims." He looked down and laughed.

"What?"

"Duct tape. And it looks like a piece has been ripped off. Maybe it'll match the piece used to bind our vic's hands behind her back."

"Bag it."

* * *

"So he wouldn't take a deal," Casey said. She had reluctantly agreed to have dinner at Olivia and Elliot's despite the fact she had a mountain of paperwork waiting for her at home. "Did you explain to him how much time this is going to take? How stressful it's going to be?"

Olivia nodded, passing the salad bowl to Elliot. "We did. He's still claiming he didn't do it. Says he really did see the movie and someone must have planted the evidence in his van."

"Please tell me you're lying. It almost sounds like he's trying to set himself up for an insanity defense."

Elliot passed Casey the salad and took a sip of wine. "He's also saying he doesn't want to take any deals. He apparently really wants to know what a trial feels like."

"Oh so he's actually crazy."

"He is. But he's crazy enough to say that he doesn't want to be declared crazy. And his lawyer seems to think he might actually be able to get him off."

Casey scoffed. "Brett Farman's an ass who will never allow a client to plead guilty. I'm surprised he hasn't lost his job yet."

Elliot put his fork down with a loud clank. "Didn't you two date when you first moved here?"

Casey noticed Elliot jump as Olivia kicked him under the table and laughed. "He showed me around when I first started. I kicked his ass the first time I faced him and offered to take him out for a drink afterward. It ended that night because he thought that offer also included sex. He had a rather large bruise on his cheek the next day."

"I remember that bruise! He said he walked into a door."

"Of course he did. No way is he going to admit I can kick his ass both in and out of the courtroom."

* * *

Alex was waiting at the table, hoping that her mother would show. She had called her three days ago, leaving a tearful message about how she was not only still alive, but back home in New York. She had asked her mother to join her for dinner Thursday night at Lupa, her mother's favorite restaurant. Two days later her mother had called and left a brief voice mail: "I'll do my best."

Now, thirty minutes after their scheduled meeting time, Alex was ready to give up. The waiter came over to check on her once more and she decided to just order. She liked this place and she deserved something nice for dinner.

"Is that really what you're eating, Alexandra?" Victoria asked disapprovingly as she sat down in front of her daughter. "Do you have any idea how many calories you're consuming?"

Alex swallowed her ricotta gnocchi with sausage and fennel (her favorite dish) and frowned. "You've thought I was dead for the last three years. Now you meat me for dinner and the first thing you say to me is, 'Is that really what you're eating, Alexandra?' Nice, mother."

"Well," she scoffed. "I don't know how much you weigh right now, but if you continue to eat that...thing in front of you, you'll be over your limit."

"God, mother! Do you not even care that your one and only daughter is still alive?"

"Of course I do. But now that I know you're alive we can go back to focusing on what's most important: your weight. You're looking dangerously close to that one-forty mark."

Was this really happening? She was thirty-five years old. How the hell was her mother so good at making her feel like a small child again? "I'm fine."

Victoria shook her head. "I did not raise a fat child, Alexandra."

"I'm not fat!"

"If you continue to consume garbage like that stuff in front of you, you will be. Why didn't you just order a salad like I'm going to?'

"Because this is a nice restaurant and I wanted to get something I would enjoy."

"Well, that's your prerogative. But remember what I always taught you. It's not about enjoyment. It's about staying beautiful. You can't be beautiful if you're fat."

Alex put her fork down and sighed. She'd only had a few bites of her dish, but she didn't feel hungry anymore. She pulled out thirty dollars and set the bills on the table. "I can't do this," she said, then stood up and walked away.

* * *

Casey sat down in the recliner as Olivia and Elliot curled up on the couch. Casey had had three glasses of wine with dinner and wanted to wait a while before driving home. She smiled as her two friends snuggled close to each other. They just fit together so perfectly.

Elliot picked up the remote and began flipping through the channels, finally stopping on the SyFy channel just in time to catch some guy in a bot say, "It wasn't an explosion. It wasn't terrorists. It was giant piranha."

"Oh we are so watching this," Olivia said, grabbing the remote from his hand before he could change the channel. "I love bad movies, and this one looks especially terrible."

Thirty minutes later they were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. The three of them exchanged confused looks as Olivia untangled herself from Elliot's arms and stood to answer it. "Alex," she whispered, seeing the defeated look on the blonde's face as she opened the door and ushered her inside. "What happened, sweetie?"

Alex smiled sadly. "I had dinner with my mother."

"She didn't..."

"She did. I got up and walked out. I didn't – couldn't deal with it. Not tonight. Not after I haven't seen her in all this time."

Olivia wrapped her arm around Alex and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Come on. Casey's here, and we're watching an awesomely bad SyFy movie marathon. Right now it's 'Mega Piranha.' Next it's 'Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus'."

Alex laughed. "Seriously? That's what they're called?"

Olivia nodded. "Awesomely bad. Come on. I'll fix you a glass of wine." She led Alex down the hallway and into the living room. "Okay, Elliot, scooch. Make room for one more on that couch."

Elliot moved over and patted the empty seat to his left. "Have a seat. You just missed a bunch of piranhas – is that right? Is it piranha or piranhas? – eat a boat. And a bunch of people. But it was funnier when they ate the boat."

She sat down and smiled at the television. Apparently the piranha were doubling in size every thirty-six hours, and they were headed towards southern Florida. By the time they arrived they would be big enough to take out an airplane. She cocked her head and stared at the actress on the screen. "Is that who I think it is?"

Elliot laughed. "Tiffany. Yep."

"How does a movie like this even get made?"

"Because people like me enjoy its awesomeness," Olivia said. She handed Alex a glass of wine and sat down next Elliot, grinning when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She loved how safe she felt in his arms. It was a wonderful feeling.

When the movie ended, Elliot stood up and stretched. "I think I'll leave you lovely ladies to talk." He leaned down and gave Alex a gentle hug. "The guest room's yours if you need it."

Alex offered him a grateful smile and returned the hug. "Thanks, El. Good night."

"'Night."

Casey picked up her purse and stood to leave. "It's been almost two hours since I finished my wine and I've had a few glasses of water. I can see you two need to...I'll get going –"

"Stay," Alex said, surprised at how much desperation was in her voice. She cleared her throat and managed a weak smile. "I'd really like it if you stayed."

"Okay," Casey said softly. She sat back down and waited for someone to say something. This would have been so much easier if she didn't feel so attracted to Alex. She wanted to help a friend, but this feeling in her chest was making it extremely difficult. She was afraid of what that feeling would be like if she got too close.

"Her first words to me were, 'Is that really what you're eating, Alexandra?'" Alex said softly. She pushed her hair out of her face and shook her head. "She's thought I was dead these last three years and I don't even get a simple hug or an 'I'm so happy my one and only child is still alive.' I get a comment about the food I'm eating."

Olivia gently rubbed Alex's back and was surprised when Alex leaned into her. She wrapped her arms around the younger woman and hugged her tight. She didn't really know what to say, so she just continued to comb her fingers through Alex's hair, praying that the woman actually let herself cry soon.

A few minutes later, Alex turned so she could see Casey while still wrapped up in Olivia's arms. She smiled warmly at Casey's confused expression. She looked a little uncomfortable, too. "I had weekly weigh-ins starting when I was six. If I was over my maximum weight, my mother starved me. Literally. I wasn't allowed to eat until I had reached her magic number."

Casey's eyes widened. "Oh, God. Alex, I..."

"It was hard. I checked myself into a rehab center the day I turned eighteen. By that point I was dangerously thin. Barely one hundred pounds, and you can see how tall I am. My mother kept telling me how beautiful I was, and all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. I knew I needed help." She took several deep breaths and closed her eyes for a few moments. "I spent two months there. It was two of the best months of my life. They were so good to me. I came out of that center weighing a very healthy one hundred and forty pounds. It was on the low side, but they told me I was okay to stay there. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt beautiful. I've managed to stay around that weight ever since and I usually feel pretty good about myself."

"You should," Casey said quickly. She bit her lower lip nervously as she met Alex's eyes. "You're gorgeous, Alex."

A few tears fell from Alex's eyes as she heard Casey's words. "I'm usually okay with my weight. I have days when I don't want to eat anything. Even a bowl of lettuce makes me feel guilty because I'm so sure I'm going to go over my weight and disappoint my mother. But I've been doing really well. It's just...I was so hoping to just be able to see my mother tonight. I missed my father's funeral because of the stupid program. I missed Elliot and Olivia's wedding. I just..."

Casey stood up and slowly made her way over to the couch. She sat down and gently rubbed Alex's back. It was terrifying, but her friend needed some comfort right now. She would deal with the attraction she was feeling later. "I think you're perfect just the way you are."

Olivia's eyes were wide as she witnessed Casey's actions. Casey was a very loyal friend, but she knew she was attracted to Alex, so doing this couldn't have been easy. She didn't do attraction very well. She shook her head and squeezed Alex once again. "She's right, sweetie. I'm so sorry your mother is the way she is, but don't you dare for one second listen to her. You're beautiful. You don't need to lose any weight."

Several minutes later Alex smiled and sat up. "Thanks, guys," she said softly. Every second she was back in New York she grew happier and happier that she was surrounded by her old – and now new – friends. "I don't want to stay too long. I've got to be in court tomorrow morning to interpret for a witness."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked, concerned. "We've got a guest room, Alex. You're more than welcome to stay here."

Alex shook her head. "No, I'd really like to sleep in my own bed tonight. I've got some stuff at home I need for tomorrow morning anyway." She pulled out her phone and began dialing a number.

"Who are you calling?"

"A cab. I've had a bit too much wine and I don't think I'm much in the mood for driving."

Casey reached over and flipped Alex's phone shut. Attraction be damned. There was no way in hell she was letting her friend call a cab. "I'll take you. It's on my way anyway. And I've got to be in court tomorrow morning before you do, so we can swing by here and pick up your car on the way."

"Are you sure?" Alex asked. She remembered Olivia's warning to take it slowly with Casey, and she would be damned if she did anything to hurt the woman. She really liked her, and she didn't care how slowly she had to move with her.

"Positive. It's no big deal."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. It's what friends do."

Alex hesitantly wrapped an arm around Casey and smiled when Casey returned it with a small hug. "Well I'm just happy I've got the ones I have. I wouldn't trade you guys for anything in the world."

* * *

It wasn't until she was only a few feet from her apartment that she noticed someone in the hallway, pounding on her door. She reached into her purse and put her hand on her pepper spray. "Excuse me, can I help you?" She stopped as the person turned around, and when she saw her face, the pepper spray was forgotten. "Grace?"

The small blonde offered a weak smile and nodded. "Hey, Casey."

"What...how...how did you find me?"

"You're not that difficult to find, you know. Successful ADA in New York. Your picture's all over the place. It was really pretty easy."

Casey shook her head. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. She wasn't sure she had the energy to deal with this tonight. "What are you doing here, Grace?"

Grace laughed. "What? Can't a girl come visit her sister when she wants to?"


	10. Chapter 10

Grace sat down nervously on the couch as Casey made tea. She hated that she had just dropped in like this, but there was no other way to do it. She knew Casey hated surprises, but this one she had to face. They hadn't seen each other in four years. Casey was ignoring her calls and letters. It had to stop.

"You're my sister," Grace said. She smiled and took a cup of tea from Casey. "I know why you've been avoiding me and I hate that it's still bothering you –"

"I laid there and watched him pour a pot of boiling water on your chest. Of course it's still bothering me."

Grace set her cup down and held Casey's hand. "You didn't just lie there and watch, honey. I know what you had just gone through. I was there. I saw it. You couldn't have done anything."

"I could have tried," Casey whispered. She reached up and gently traced the scars on Grace's neck. "I could have at least tried."

"No," Grace said firmly. She reached over and pulled Casey into a hug. She wasn't prepared to feel how tense the woman was. She gently rubbed Casey's back and hugged her tighter. "I love you, Casey. There's no blame here. After what you had just been through...you could _not _have stopped it."

Casey wanted to pull away, but Grace's arms were wrapped around her so tightly she wasn't sure she had the energy to try. "I was always able to keep you from getting hurt before. I just...I can't help but feel like I failed you that night."

"Cassandra Lynn Novak, you listen to me. You did _not_ fail me that night. You did no such thing. That night...it was a hell of a lot worse than the previous ones. You saved my life, Casey. There are...there are no words for what you've done for me."

"Is that why you came over here? To tell me that?"

Grace decided to ignore the accusatory tones in Casey's voice. Now wasn't the time to argue. Now was the time to convince Casey just how incredible she really was. "That's one reason. I'll say it as often as I have to for you to believe me. You didn't burn me, Casey. He did. And there is no way you could have stopped him."

Casey sat up and sighed. She was fighting the tears in her eyes and she was determined not to cry in front of Grace. "I'm your big sister. I'm supposed to protect you. You were eight years old –"

"And you were thirteen! That's way too young to do what you did for me. You _did _protect me." She wiped away a tear and smiled. "Thanksgiving's in two months. You know Brian and I alternate holidays between mom and dad and his parents. This Thanksgiving we will be with mom and dad, and we would really like it if you came. These last few years you've only done holidays with them if I wasn't there, and frankly, it's a bit annoying that you're avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you, Grace. It's just hard."

"I know. You started working in New York and just kind of forgot about your family in Chicago."

"I didn't forget about you guys!"

"Well that's kind of how it feels. You flew over for my wedding and then left almost immediately after it ended."

"I had to be in court."

"Bullshit. Getting away meant you didn't have to deal with what happened. If you didn't have to talk to us, if you didn't have to see my scars, you could run away back to New York and pretend like none of it ever happened."

Casey wiped away the one tear she allowed to fall and tried to smile. "I like it here. And...yeah, it's easier because here, besides Olivia, nobody knows. Nobody knows who I was. They only know who I am now. I can just be me and not have to worry about anything else."

"I know. I wear turtlenecks pretty frequently. Brian and I go on vacation and it's like we're in a completely different world where the past can so easily be forgotten. We can pretend to be someone else. We don't have to worry about the nightmares or the flashbacks or anything. Because when we're not dealing with it, when we're not talking about it, it's like it never happened." She shrugged and met Casey's eyes. "I never violated your trust, Case. I never went into any intimate details. I just needed to tell him why I am the way I am. I only told him a little, and he is just...he's so unbelievably good to me. But as nice as it is to get away and pretend like everything's fine, it's even better to be surrounded by family who knows you and all your secrets, and still loves you anyway."

"I've missed you so much, Grace," Casey whispered. Grace knew exactly what she was feeling. She wanted to hate her for it, but she couldn't. She was grateful she had someone who understood. "I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

"It's okay. Just promise me something."

"What?"

"Stop avoiding us. We're family, Casey. We love you more than you know and we want you to be with us. And I really want you to meet my daughter."

"You have a daughter?"

"I do. She just turned three and she's absolutely beautiful."

"What's her name?"

Grace smiled and pulled out a picture from her wallet. "Cassidy. Cassie for short."

The strong resemblance to her own name was not lost on Casey. She smiled at the adorable pig-tailed brunette staring up at her. "She's gorgeous, Grace."

"Brian and I discussed names for weeks. He wanted to make sure we picked a name I liked." She shook her head and grinned. "I can't stop saying just how amazing he is to me, Case. He touches my scars...kisses them. Then he looks me in the eyes and tells me I'm beautiful."

Casey's bad mood was quickly changing into a good one. She was glad Grace had just shown up like this. It was exactly the wake-up call she needed. "You _are_ beautiful. And I'm so happy for you. You deserve it."

"I'm happy now. I've got the most amazing family a girl could ask for. And I've got a beautiful daughter who was named after the one person who has done more for me than anyone else in this world ever could: my big sister."

"You...you named her after me?"

Grace sighed. "Brian knows enough to be able to put together enough pieces to understand a bit of what happened. He was the one who suggested the name, and as soon as he said it, I knew it was perfect."

"So," Casey said with a sigh. "Thanksgiving?"

* * *

Elliot climbed into bed that night and pulled Olivia on top of him. He smiled and caressed her face. "You are so beautiful. Do you know that?"

"So you keep telling me."

"Because it's the truth." He kissed her warmly and shook his head. "You are absolutely beautiful and I will tell you every single second of every single day if I have to. I know you love to hear it and I know I love to say it. I love you so much."

She leaned forward and kissed his chest. It always amazed her that the two of them had ended up together. She remembered the first time she had told him about who her father was – where she had come from. The look on his face hadn't been one of horror like she had expected. He had placed his hand on hers and told her she was still the same Olivia he knew and loved. He had never treated her any differently. That meant more to her than she could ever tell him. "I love you, too."

He moved his hands slowly down her body, exploring every inch of her body. He gently traced the small scar above her left hip, a reminder of her mother's anger. Her strength amazed him, and he was honored that she chose him. "I guess we fit pretty well together, don't we?"

"I'd say we fit together perfectly."

* * *

"It was a pretty big thing for her to drive me home the other night, wasn't it?" Alex asked. Olivia had stopped by Alex's to have lunch with her. Ever since she had been back, she had needed to spend as much time as she could with her friends, and Olivia eagerly jumped at every opportunity she could.

Olivia took a bite of her sandwich and nodded. "Like I said, she's loyal to those she cares about. She'll be the best friend you could ever ask for." She paused for a minute, gathering her thoughts. "It took Casey almost six months before she would even go out for a drink with me. And even then it was hard for her. She took another six months after that before she ever called me to hang out. She only just told me about her past four months ago."

"Wow. She's not one to trust easily?"

"Not at all. She's damn good at hiding her emotions, too. All professional all the time. She always politely declined all of my invitations. I kept persisting, and she finally caved and agreed to go to coffee once. After that it got easier. I never even suspected anything was wrong until we were sitting on my couch and she told me everything."

Alex smiled. "So she takes six months just to go out for drinks with you and only three weeks to offer to drive me home?"

"You're a pretty special person, Alex. I know you like her, and she seems to really like you, too. I honestly think you might just be the perfect person for her."

"Do you really? What makes you say that?"

Olivia sighed. She didn't want to betray Casey. If anything, she wanted to help her. And if she could get these two women together, it would mean a lot to everyone involved. "A lot of things. You have this amazing ability to make people safe around you. I know how I felt when I was talking to you about my mom and...everything she did." She offered a small smile and shrugged. "It's the main reason you were such a great ADA. Our victims really trusted you."

"Wow," Alex whispered, forcing herself to swallow her food before she was finished chewing. "Way to lay on the flattery. I'll have to stop by more often if this is how our lunches are going to be."

Olivia laughed. "I'm serious, Alex. You're a special person."

"As are you, Liv. As are you."

"How was she in the car ride home?"

Alex hesitated. "A bit nervous, I think. She didn't really say much. Insisted that it was more than okay that she was driving me home, not to worry about it, and all that. I tried to make small talk for a few minutes, but she didn't seem to be too into it."

"Yeah, that's kind of how I figured it would go. I can't tell you how surprised I was when she offered you a ride home."

"So if I want to take her out on an actual date, rather than just a dinner between friends, what do you think I should do? How should I handle it?"

"Honestly?"

Alex nodded. "Honestly."

"Let her ask you out."

"You think that'll work?"

"Considering she's already been out for drinks with you, dinner with you, _and_ offered you a ride home, I'd say there's a very good chance that it'll happen. Just give it time. I can tell she really likes you."

"I hope so, because I really, _really_ like her."

* * *

Casey sat in her living room, staring at the phone and hoping someone would call her. A specific someone, in particular, but at this point she would welcome any call. Grace's visit had left her shaken up. She had called out sick today because she wasn't sure she was emotionally strong enough to handle her cases.

Grace had been right: she was running. She hadn't even realized she was doing it. Being here in New York, it was so easy to just take as many cases as she could and focus solely on them. She had thought she was okay. She had a few friends and even hung out with them on a semi regular basis. Dating was no longer for her, and she had thought she was okay with that.

_Alex_, she thought. The blonde's face suddenly popped into her mind. It was a beautiful face. Attached to a beautiful body. She wasn't going to be able to fight the feelings she had for Alex much longer. At this point, she wasn't sure she wanted to anymore. This whole not dating thing was starting to get very lonely. Safe, yes, but also lonely.

She rolled her eyes as she picked up the phone. She was actually going to do it this time. She was sure of it. As she scrolled through the numbers in the phone's memory, she tried to keep calm. Finally, she found Alex's number and pressed send, praying that she could leave a message rather than actually talk to the woman.

"Hello, you've reached Alexandra Cabot. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a message, I'll call you back."

"Hey, Alex. It's uh, it's Casey," she said nervously, speaking so quickly she wasn't sure Alex was going to be able to understand a word she was saying. ""I was just wondering if you wanted to grab a drink or dinner or something. Let me know when you get a chance. Thanks." She hung up and tried to get her breathing under control. It had been a long time since she had asked anyone out, and she prayed she hadn't just made a fool of herself.


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

* * *

Casey was trying to get her breathing under control as she stared at the door in front of her, but she might as well have tried to lift the Empire State Building with her pinky for all the good it did her. She finally managed to raise a shaky fist and knock on the door, praying the occupants opened it soon.

The pounding on her apartment door was loud enough to wake her neighbors. Otherwise Olivia probably would have ignored it. She had chased after two perps that day, and one of them had shot at her. Exhausted didn't even begin to describe how tired she was. Elliot slept like a log, so it was up to her to answer the door. She crawled out of bed and went to open the door. "Casey?"

Her teeth were chattering and she was shaking so badly she wasn't sure she could speak. She again tried to get her breathing under some semblance of control, and again failed miserably.

Knowing the signs of a panic attack, Olivia quickly ushered Casey inside and over to the couch. She had seen Casey having a panic attack only twice before, but this one was by far the worst. She had to get Casey calm. The woman would kill her if she had to take her to the hospital. "Okay, sweetie," she said gently, yet firmly. She took Casey's hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "Take slow, deep breaths. Breathe with me, Casey. One, two, three, and in. Hold it. Hold it. Now let it out slowly." They continued like this for almost half an hour, Olivia breathing with her the entire time, before Olivia was sure Casey was okay. "Are you okay if I go put a pot of water on for tea?" When Casey managed a weak nod, Olivia stood up. "Okay. I'll be right back."

"Okay," Casey said weakly.

As she was fixing the tea, Olivia looked out to the living room and frowned. She had a feeling something had brought on this panic attack. Sure, an attack could happen at any time, but Casey had told her that she had her attacks pretty much under control. This one was too sever to have just happened randomly.

"Here you go, honey," Olivia said, handing Casey a cup of tea.

"Thanks." She smiled as Olivia sat down next to her."I'm so sorry to just drop in like this. What time is it?"

Olivia took a sip of tea. "Almost four-thirty."

"Oh, fuck. Liv I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it. My alarm's set to go off at five anyway. Now I'm more worried about you. Did something happen yesterday?" Casey's lack of response was the only answer Olivia needed. "Talk to me, Case. What happened?"

Casey took a deep breath and stared at the cup in her hands. "Grace was pounding on my door the other night. I found her after taking Alex home. I'm surprised she didn't piss off any of my neighbors. She was really making way too much noise."

"So that's why you weren't at work."

"Yeah. I almost didn't go in yesterday either, but I had to be in court. And I had several mountains of paperwork that needed my attention."

"Wow. How did that go?"

Casey shrugged. "It was just opening arguments. The paperwork gave me a bit of a headache though."

"I meant with Grace."

"I know. It was...intense. She really read me the riot act. She was not very pleased with me."

Olivia smiled. "I imagine she wasn't. How long has it been since you've seen her?"

"Since I left for New York."

"Too long."

"Yeah. Too long. But she convinced me to go to mom and dad's for Thanksgiving."

"Seriously? Casey that's great!"

"And I asked Alex out on a date."

Olivia choked on her tea. "You what?"

"Asked Alex out on a date." She set her cup down on a coaster and took a deep breath. "After Grace left, I spent the entire next day thinking about pretty much everything. It was rough, but Grace was right. I moved here and took on this completely new person. I was a brand new Casey Novak, one who never went through everything I went through."

"She told you to stop running."

"Basically."

"And?"

"And I agreed to go to Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Then I asked Alex out."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing." Casey shook her head and laughed. "I waited all day for her to call, like some love-struck sixteen-year-old girl. Pathetic."

"She never called you back? That's not like her at all."

"Figures. I actually take a shot at dating for the first time in years and I don't even get a simple response."

* * *

"Hey, can I talk to you guys for a minute?" Alex asked, walking over to Olivia and Elliot's desks.

Elliot looked up from his paperwork and frowned. "You are in a world of trouble, Cabot."

"I know."

Olivia shook her head. "How could you just ignore her like that, Alex? I thought you were interested, but even if you weren't, you could have at least called her back. Instead, you just –"

"I didn't ignore her. I was at the hospital with an eight-year-old girl whose parents had just been killed in a car accident. She survived, but she was scared and didn't want me to leave. I didn't get Casey's message until late last night."

"Oh boy are you lucky," Elliot said with a grin. "I'm pretty sure Olivia had a manuscript ready to read you. And it wasn't going to be pleasant." He looked over to Olivia, then back to Alex. "She was pretty ticked off at you."

Olivia stood up, grabbed Alex's arm, and dragged her into one of the interrogation rooms. "Please tell me what you just said out there was the truth. You're not ignoring her, you just didn't get her message until late, right?"

Alex put her hands on Olivia's shoulders and met her eyes. "I swear I'm telling the truth. You know me, Liv. And you know how much I like her. I've told you how much I want to go out with her. You're the one who suggested I let her take the first step."

"And she did."

"She did. And I not only missed her call, but I didn't get her message until it was too late to call her back. I'm guessing, judging by how you and Elliot reacted when I walked in here this morning, she didn't handle it too well?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, she didn't. She's in her office though. You might want to go make things right with her. Don't give up too quickly. I'm pretty sure she's still quite interested in you."

"Yeah. Wish me luck?"

"Good luck."

* * *

Casey was so focused on the papers in front of her that she didn't even hear the first knock on the door. The second one was much louder, and she shook her head and looked up. "Come in."

Alex slowly opened the door and stuck her head in. "Hey," she said hesitantly before walking in and closing the door behind her. "I think the two of us should have a little talk, what do you say?"

"Sit," Casey said softly.

Alex sat down in the chair in front of Casey's desk and frowned. She had no idea how to even start this conversation, but she knew she had to make things right. "I...uh, I'm really sorry. I got a call at nine that morning about an eight-year-old girl who had just survived the car accident that killed her parents. She asked me to stay and I couldn't ignore her."

"You stayed in a hospital room all day?"

"Yeah. She was so scared. I couldn't leave her. I managed to convince her that her social worker was a nice lady and would help her get through the night, but then I promised to come back the next day – today. I had breakfast with her this morning."

"How is she?"

Alex shrugged. "She just lost both of her parents. She's got a broken leg, several fractured ribs, and is covered in cuts of bruises. The car flipped over three times." Alex took a deep breath and held it for several seconds. "She'll have to go into foster care, but I'm sure she'll find a family soon."

"Don't let her get lost in the system."

There was an urgency in Casey's voice that Alex had never heard before. "I won't. I've got her social worker's phone number and she's got mine. We'll be in constant contact."

"Good. That's good."

"Casey?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

Casey forced a smile. Now was definitely not the time to get into her feelings on the foster care system. "I'm fine. I've just...seen way too many kids get lost in that system and I'd hate for it to happen to yet another kid."

Alex decided not to push the issue, despite the fact that she was now sure Casey was hiding something. "Well, how about I make up not returning your call by taking you out to lunch tomorrow. Do you have enough time?"

"I do, actually. I'll...I'll let you take me out to lunch on one condition."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"You let me take you out to lunch the following day."

Alex smiled and held out her hand. She was glad when Casey reached out and shook it. "I like that plan."

* * *

"Grace, I have no idea what to wear!" Casey said. She shook her head and threw more clothes out of her closet as she desperately tried to find something to wear on this date she was supposed having with Alex tomorrow.

"Where are the two of you going?" Grace asked. Casey had called her after meeting with Alex for lunch and had begged her to come over for dinner. She was more than happy to oblige. Spending time with Casey was the one thing she had hoped to accomplish during her week long trip to New York, and it appeared as though she was going to succeed.

"Just some little Mexican place. Alex assures me it's nothing too fancy." She paused for a moment, putting her hands on her hips. "Though 'not too nice' to Alex might be 'really fucking nice' to me. Shit! What am I supposed to wear?"

Grace shook her head and laughed as she made her way over to Casey's closet. She rummaged through the clothes first in the closet and then on the bed. "Here," she said, handing Casey a pair of black pants and a dark purple turtleneck. "Wear this. It's nice enough for a date, but not too over the top. Plus, you'll look absolutely gorgeous in it."

Casey thought for a minute, not really sure what to believe. She wanted so badly for this date to work out perfectly. "Yeah. I suppose that'll work."

"Casey, relax. It's dinner."

"It's the first date real date I've been on in several years."

"And you're going to have a great time."

"I hope so."

"I know so."

"You've never met the woman. How can you possibly know I'll have a good time?"

Grace shrugged. "I've just got a feeling."

"Well, I hope your feeling's right, because the only thing I feel right now is complete and utter fear."


	12. Chapter 12

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

* * *

"Guilty on all counts," Casey said happily as she walked into the precinct. She set her briefcase down and leaned against Olivia's desk. "Kidnapping, rape, and murder. I still can't believe he actually wanted to take this to trial."

Olivia shook her head. "Well at least Shawn Adamsen will no longer be roaming the streets. How'd you manage to go through the trial so quickly?"

Casey shrugged. "I'm just that good."

"Are you now?"

"Yep. And Adamsen decided that the trial wasn't nearly as much fun as he expected it to be once he actually got up there on the stand, so his lawyer called me and begged for a deal. I talked to them, then decided forty years in a maximum security prison was sufficient enough for what he did."

Elliot smirked. "So you're really not that good."

"Oh I am that good. I would have had his ass. But the migraines this trial was going to give me were so not worth it. He'll be eighty in forty years. I'm sure he'll be just as much of an asshole by then, but at least he'll be an old asshole."

Olivia nudged her gently. "You ready for your lunch date today?"

"I think so," Casey answered honestly. "I mean, I've had dinner with her already, so why should this lunch be any different?"

"Because it's an actual date."

"Thank you for reminding me."

"So, you're nervous," Olivia said. "Are you at all excited? I know dating hasn't really been your thing lately, but I've got a feeling this one is going to be different. Besides, I know you like Mexican food. And you certainly can't argue with a free lunch with a beautiful woman."

Casey smiled. "Well Alex certainly is that."

"I certainly am what?" Alex asked, walking into the squad room with a huge grin on her face.

"Oh, uh...you're, uh. You're really missed around here."

Alex folded her arms across her chest and walked over to Casey. "You weren't in your office. Figured I'd find you here. Ready to go?"

"Yeah," she said. She tried to smile, but she was a bit too nervous to manage a convincing one. "Let's go eat lunch."

* * *

"You um, you look really nice," Casey said nervously. The truth was Alex looked amazing in her black sleeveless turtleneck and tight blue jeans. And those glasses. Casey never wanted her to take those glasses off. "Black's a good color on you. With your blond hair and all..."

Alex chuckled as she watched Casey look down towards her menu. Alex didn't normally go for nervousness in a person, but with Casey, it just seemed to fit. She knew for a fact Casey was an extremely confident woman; she was just uneasy when it came to dating. It was even sort of cute to see how it was playing out. "Well, I rather like purple on you."

This was both harder and easier than Casey expected. She was nervous, yes, but Alex's confidence was rubbing off on her. Her dates in the past had always been over confident, always wanted to talk only about themselves and nothing more. And they had always expected something at the end. Alex, however, appeared to want Casey to join in the talking. She also didn't seem to have any expectations beyond this lunch. Olivia had been right. Alex really was different. "So, what are you going to get?"

"Well, I can just hear my mother's fifty-page long lecture about it, but I think I'm going to get chicken and cheese enchiladas." She closed her menu and smiled. "It even comes with a cheese sauce on top."

Casey hated that Alex's mother would have given her a hard time for ordering what she loved, but she didn't want to bring an upsetting topic into the discussion on their first date. "I take it you like cheese?"

"It's my weakness."

"Well then I'll have to remember that."

_Will you now? And what possible use could that little tid bit of information be to you?_ She waited a moment, trying to bask in the romantic atmosphere that surrounded them. This was definitely turning into a great first date. "What are you getting?"

"Chicken burrito. Extra rice."

"You like rice?"

"I like Mexican rice, especially what they've got here. The spices are delicious."

Alex cocked her head. "Good to know."

They ordered their food and made small talk while they waited for it to arrive. Alex did most of the talking, though she was relieved when Casey joined in for pieces of the conversation. She definitely didn't want to be the only one doing the talking.

"I'm sorry you had such a hard time in the program," Casey said as she took a bite of her burrito. Witness Protection sounded awful, and hearing Alex describe her time there was hard. "Did you have any fun at all?"

"On the surface, yeah. I made friends. We hung out. I even went on a few dates. But when they called me Emily or Meredith or any of the other names I had, I knew I was never going to be truly happy with them. Living a lie is incredibly difficult. It's just nice being back in New York and hearing people address me by my real name."

"Well, _Alexandra_ –"

"Oh, please. It's Alex. The only person who calls me Alexandra is my mother."

"Well, _Alex_, I for one am quite happy to have you back in New York."

* * *

"So," Grace said eagerly, plopping herself down on Casey's couch and opening a bag of popcorn. "How did it go?"

Casey sat down next to her and grabbed a handful of popcorn. She couldn't get the grin off her face as she recounted all the details of her lunch date with Alex. "It was amazing. I mean, it was just lunch and it was a first date so there were the typical nerves and everything, but...Grace I actually really had a lot of fun today."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. The last few dates I've been on have been horrible. They all wanted sex immediately afterwards. They only talked about themselves. And they were extremely angry when I told them I wasn't going to sleep with them. Alex was just, I don't know. She wanted to hear about me. She didn't pressure me into anything at all. She just seemed to want to do the lunch date and leave it at that."

"No pressure at all?"

"None."

"You still taking her out tomorrow?"

"Yep. We're going to the Olive Garden." She sighed and leaned back against the couch. "I know that's not fancy like what she's used to, but money's a bit tight since I just bought all new living room furniture. She didn't seem to mind though. She told me she loves Italian."

Grace leaned back and wrapped her arm around Casey's shoulders. _Coming to New York for this week was one of the best decisions I've ever made,_ she thought to herself. Seeing Casey with a smile on her face – and actually _dating_ – was definitely not what she expected, but it was good to see. "I'm sure she'll love it."

"I hope so. She's got money, Grace. A whole hell of a lot of money. I just hope she doesn't expect anything ridiculously fancy from me, because there's no way in hell I can afford to spend a thousand dollars on dinner."

"Well I'm sure she'll just be happy to spend an evening with you." She gave Casey's shoulders a gentle squeeze and winked. "And if she says anything at all about it being a cheap dinner, let me know. I'll gladly kick her ass for you."

Casey pulled Grace closer to her and gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head. "You know, I don't think I've actually told you yet, but I really am happy you're here, even if you did just show up at my doorstep and start pounding on my door."

"So am I. We all miss you, Case. I know you're happy here, and we don't want you to leave any of this, but we do want you to come to visit us once in a while. And hey, if things really work out between you and this Alex woman, you'd better bring her home to mom and dad."

"It is way too soon to be talking about that."

"I know. But when the time comes, we'd all love to meet her."

Casey shook her head. Having her little sister back in her life was amazing, and she hated that she had distanced herself from them for so long. She had her reasons, and they were decent ones, but she still felt guilty. "I'm glad you're here, Grace," she whispered. "I'm really glad you're here."

"So am I, Casey. So am I."

* * *

Casey was pacing back and forth in her living room, wishing time would slow down a bit so she could better prepare herself for the evening's date. "I'm leaving in two hours, Olivia!" she said. "What the hell am I going to do?"

Olivia smiled from her position on the couch. It was hard to see Casey this worked up about a simple dinner date, but then again, for Casey, there was nothing simple about it. "You're going to drive over to her place, ring her door bell, tell her she's beautiful, walk her out to your car, and drive to the Olive Garden. Then, you're going to talk, order your food, talk some more, enjoy the deliciousness that is the Olive Garden. After that, maybe you'll order dessert, or maybe not. Depends on how much you ate. Then, you'll drive her to her place and you'll drive yourself back here."

Casey kept pacing. She had to do something with all this nervous energy she had. "You make it sound so simple."

"That's because it is simple."

"Not for me it isn't. In case you've forgotten, I haven't exactly had the best luck in the dating department recently."

"I know. But tell me something. Is Alex different than your past hellish dates?"

"Yeah, I guess she is."

"How so?"

"She's a woman."

Olivia laughed. "Okay, obvious answer first. That's fine. How else?" She smiled warmly and patted the empty seat next to her when Casey didn't respond. "Sit."

Casey reluctantly obeyed. She didn't want to have this conversation right now, but she didn't really see a way out of it. Olivia was her best friend, and she knew the detective could help. "She's actually a lot different than my past dates."

"I know," Olivia said with a sly smile. "That's why I encouraged you to pursue this. I wasn't even sure if you were gay, but you seemed to be attracted to her, and I know for a fact that she's really attracted to you."

"You know that for a fact do you?"

"I do."

"And how do you know this?"

Olivia leaned over so she could meet Casey's eyes. "Because she told me she really likes you."

"Really?"

"Yep."

Casey smiled. It was nice to have someone like her. "Is she as nervous as I am?"

Olivia shrugged. "I'm sure she's a little nervous."

"But not like me."

"She doesn't have the same past you have," Olivia said gently. "She hasn't seen what you've seen or been through what you've been through."

"I know. I just wish I could be normal and not freak out over every little date I go on."

"You'll get there, sweetie." She pulled Casey into a half hug and smiled. "I know you're going to have fun tonight. Alex isn't going into this expecting anything more than dinner, I promise. You don't even have to kiss her if you don't want to."

Casey bit her bottom lip and smiled. "And if I do want to?"

"Then I want to hear all of the details first thing tomorrow morning."

Laughing and shaking her head, Casey stood up and pulled Olivia up with her. "Thanks for the chat, Liv."

"Don't mention it. Just have fun tonight. Trust your instincts, but also...have fun. Enjoy Alex's company."

"I will. I actually do enjoy being around her. She's fucking gorgeous, for one. But really, she's just nice to be with. I don't feel any pressure when I'm with her. I just feel like she wants to actually spend time with me just as much as I want to spend time with her."

Olivia made her way to the door and smiled. "I'm happy for you, Casey. Have fun tonight. Remember that, okay? Have fun."

"I will. I promise."


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

* * *

Casey parked her car and turned it off. She looked at her watch and sighed. She was ten minutes early. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the all too familiar number.

"Olivia Benson's phone. Sorry she can't come to the phone right now. She's busy parading around in barely anything and cooking her wonderful husband a delicious dinner. Looks like you're stuck with me, Novak. What's up?"

"Very funny, Elliot," Casey said, a small smile creeping onto her face.

"I thought you were picking Alex up soon."

"I am."

"Okay..." he elongated the word and trailed off.

"I still have eight minutes."

Elliot laughed. "You know there's nothing wrong with showing up a few minutes early."

"I know. I'm just –"

"Stalling for time?"

"Yeah."

"Get out of the car and go knock on her door."

"What's Olivia cooking you for dinner?"

"Frozen pizza. Now go. Don't make me hang up on you."

"Fine. See you at work on Monday. Tell Liv I said hi."

"I will. Have fun."

Casey flipped her phone shut and took a deep breath. It was time. Time to go on the first date she'd initiated in more than three years; and only her third date ever with a woman. "Okay," she said as she got out of the car and made her way to Alex's front door. "You can do this. You're going to have fun." She reached up and rang the doorbell, holding her breath as she waited.

* * *

"Was that Casey?" Olivia asked as she pulled the pizza out of the oven. She brought it out to the table and sat down across from Elliot.

"It was."

Olivia frowned. "She okay?"

"She's nervous, but I'm sure she'll be fine."

"I've spoken to Alex a few times. I didn't tell her anything, really. I just told her to move slowly. It wouldn't surprise me if, given her history with our department, she came to at least a few accurate conclusions."

"Yeah, I'm sure she did." Elliot took a bite of pizza and smiled. "Casey's lucky she has you, Liv. She really, really trusts you. Given what little I know about her past, that's got to be a huge thing for her. You're an amazing woman, do you know that?"

Olivia shrugged. "I like to think so. Casey's a good friend. I told her about my parents and she listened. She sat there and she listened and she didn't judge. Besides, she's a hell of a lot of fun to hang out with."

"We need to go bowling again."

"You just want a rematch because she kicked your ass the last time we went."

"Maybe next time she'll bring Alex and get distracted."

Olivia laughed and flicked a pepperoni at him. "So the only way you can beat her is if she has someone to distract her. I'll have to let her know that. She'll appreciate it."

Elliot gathered his and Olivia's plates and took them out to the kitchen. "You cook, I clean," he said as she brought the leftover pizza out.

"I stuck the pizza in the oven and waited thirty minutes. I'd hardly call that cooking."

"Well I'm still cleaning. You'll have to think of something to do while you wait."

She walked behind him and wrapped her arms around him while he washed the dishes. "I suppose I could start a bath," she whispered, her hands reaching under his shirt and up to his chest. "We have those massage oils in the cabinet." She kissed his neck several times before turning him around and making her way up to his lips. "And we've got a bunch of candles. I should probably go get started."

He scrunched up his face as she pulled away, trying to look sad. "You're really going to leave me after all that? That's harsh."

She bit her lower lip and slowly walked backwards out of the kitchen. "I just gave you motivation to hurry up with those dishes. By the time you finish, our bath will be ready."

* * *

Casey had rung the doorbell twice and pounded on the door several times, but Alex didn't answer. She was starting to think Alex was second guessing this date. It had taken her more than twenty-four hours to return Casey's invitation for their first date. What was to say she hadn't had any fun and was just ignoring this second one? "Alex!" she yelled, pounding on the door several times. "It's Casey. Are you home?" She was about to give up when she heard a sound from inside. It was faint, but she was sure she heard it. "Alex? You there?"

"It's open."

Something in the tone of Alex's voice worried her. She opened the door and inhaled sharply as she walked into the living room. All fears of Alex standing her up went out the window as she saw Alex sitting on the couch, her knees pulled up to her chest, tissues littered around her. A fire was burning in the fireplace. Casey slowly made her way over and sat down next to her. "Hey," she whispered. "What happened?"

Alex shook her head and wrapped her arms around her knees. She started to open her mouth to say something, then shook her head again and closed it. A few stray tears fell down her cheeks as she looked towards a piece of paper on the coffee table.

Casey picked up the piece of paper and started reading it. _Alexandra, have I taught you nothing in your thirty-five years of life? Cheese enchiladas...with cheese sauce on top? That one meal you consumed with that whore I've heard you're screwing had more calories than you should consume in one week. Now, everyone makes mistakes. I understand that whore of yours enticed you to eat that trash. But you need to move back in with your mother so we can get your diet back on track again before you get so fat and ugly nobody will want you._

"I found it when I came home yesterday after lunch. She must have slipped it under the door. I never saw her at the restaurant, which means she must have had somebody follow me and report back to her. Figures."

"Alex, I..." Casey reached over and put her arm around Alex and was surprised when Alex leaned into her. She took a deep breath and sighed, completely at a loss for words. "It's okay."

"I ruined our date, just like I almost ruined our last one."

"Nonsense," Casey said, giving her a gentle squeeze. "You sit here. I'll fix you some tea – you do have tea, right?"

Alex wiped away a tear and nodded. "Yeah. It's above the sink. Kettle's on the stove."

Casey stood up and gave Alex's hand a gentle squeeze. "Good. I'll make some tea and fix you something to eat," she held up her hands as Alex sat up to protest, her eyes going to the note in Casey's hands. "Have you eaten anything since you found the note?"

"No," she whispered. "I haven't been able to eat anything since I read it."

"Well how about we do this," Casey said, tearing up the note and tossing the pieces into the fire. "We'll have some tea and a little something to eat. Then we'll just hang out and watch a movie. How does that sound?"

Alex smiled gratefully and nodded. "Yeah. That sounds great. Thanks."

"Okay. You sit tight. I'll bring you something to eat." Casey walked out to the kitchen and tried to orient herself. It was far larger than any kitchen she'd ever been in. She knew she couldn't make anything big – Alex needed something light – so after seeing several bowls of fruit on the counter, as well as a drawer full of fruit in the kitchen, she decided on a fruit salad. She pulled out two bowls and sliced up a few apples, strawberries, two bananas, some watermelon, cantaloupe, kiwi, and added a few grapes on top. "Here," she said, handing Alex the bowl and sitting down next to her. "I told you it'd be light."

Alex's eyes widened as she looked at the fruit in her bowl. Each piece was carefully cut into different shapes: stars, flowers, hearts. "Casey, what is..."

"It's no big deal. I worked part time in one of those fruit shops that cut up the fruits into shapes and put them into flower baskets while I was in college." She shrugged modestly and ate a strawberry. "It paid the bills."

"Casey, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you."

"It's nothing, really. I just wanted to make sure you ate something."

Alex leaned over and met Casey's eyes. "Thank you, Casey. I mean it."

Casey nodded and nudged her gently. "You're beautiful, Alex. Your mother...I'm so sorry she's doing this to you. She's wrong though. You're gorgeous, and you are nowhere near fat. Don't believe her for a second, okay?"

"Nine times out of ten, I'm fine, you know? I can go out and eat a cheese enchilada with more cheese than an entire supermarket stocks on any given day. I can pig out and know that I'm still attractive and that what I'm eating is not going to make me fat. Then I go and read something like that note and I'm ten years old again, standing on that stupid scale in the bathroom, listening to her say how disgusted I made her."

Casey put her empty bowl down and was happy to see that Alex had eaten all of her fruit. She suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to start talking, and she realized that there was nothing she could do to stop the words from coming out of her mouth. "My biological parents were killed in an apartment fire when I was nine. I was at a sleepover. I was in foster care for five years before I was adopted. I had some great foster parents and some...not so great ones. I have a sister named Grace. Well, not biologically, but we were adopted together. Our last foster father was the worst. I watched him pour a pot of boiling water on her chest. She was eight." She took a deep breath and offered Alex a half smile. "Nine nights out of ten, I'm fine. That other one night though, I see her face as it's happening."

Alex swallowed and furrowed her eyebrows. "Oh, god, Casey. I didn't...I had no idea."

"Most people here don't. I don't like to talk about it much."

There was more to Casey's story, Alex was sure. The look in her eyes said that this incident was only one of many, most of which were probably even more horrifying. Alex smiled as she felt Casey give her a gentle squeeze, and happily returned the half hug. "You're incredible. Do you know that?"

Casey smiled. This was the closest she'd ever felt to any of her dates, and it was a huge relief to her that she felt no fear being this physically close to Alex. She pulled away slightly and turned to face Alex. Very slowly, she leaned in and gently kissed her.

The softness of Casey's lips against hers seemed to drive out all the pain she was feeling in an instant, and she returned the gentle kiss eagerly. She remembered Olivia's warning to take it slowly, so she let Casey lead, but that was fine with her. This kiss was exactly what she needed. She smiled as Casey nervously pulled away, looking down to the floor as she did so. "Wow," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

Alex nodded. "Oh yeah. You okay with it?"

As a way of answering Alex's question, Casey leaned in for another kiss, this one more intense than the first. She wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled her closer, gently tracing Alex's teeth with her tongue. It was amazing, and she didn't want it to end. This was as far as they would go tonight, and Casey was sure Alex wouldn't press her to go further. She pulled away and leaned her forehead against Alex's. "I'm great with it."

Alex smiled and held Casey's hands. "Thank you. I'm really glad you kept pounding on my door tonight. I really needed someone and I...I had no idea how to ask."

Casey leaned against the back of the couch and pulled Alex against her, pressing play on the remote as she did so. "Well I'm really glad I heard you moving around inside. I'm glad you invited me in." She took a deep breath and held Alex's hand in both of hers. "I still owe you dinner though. So when you're feeling up for it, let me know."


	14. Chapter 14

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

**There's a scene with Alex interpreting for a deaf boy. I've got what they're signing in italics. If it's at all confusing, let me know and I'll try something else.**

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Olivia said slowly. She and Alex met for lunch at a small coffee shop around the corner from the precinct. She was happy to see that Alex had a good bit of cheese on top of her salad. It wasn't much, but given the details of the note Alex had told her about, it was huge. "Casey not only made you a fruit salad, she also cut each individual piece into a different shape?"

"She did," Alex replied, smiling contentedly as she took a bite of salad. "Damn I love cheese."

"Well I'm just glad to see you eating it."

Alex put her fork down and took a sip of water. "Yesterday was hard. I was not in a good place after I found that letter. It was actually really, really bad. Worse than I can remember in years."

"Sweetie," Olivia said, frowning as she reached across the table and took Alex's hands. "You could have called me."

"I didn't want to bother you."

"Alex, you're one of my best friends. If you ever need me, you call me. I don't give a damn what time it is. I'll be there in a minute. Understand?"

Alex nodded and looked away. "I knew she was coming over at seven the next evening – last night – to pick me up for dinner. I thought if I could hold on until then, I'd be okay when I opened the door and saw her. Of course, I only got off the couch to pee, so when she showed up I was nowhere near ready to go out for dinner."

"What'd she say when you answered the door?"

"I didn't," she answered with a sigh. "I ignored her for a good five minutes while she rang the bell and pounded on my door. I think she was giving up when I kicked my ottoman as hard as I could. She must have heard me. She called out my name and pounded on the door some more. I finally broke down and told her it was open. She came in and found me freaking out on the couch."

"Please tell me you let her see you crying."

Alex smiled. Olivia was the only person who could ask her to allow another person to see her cry and get away with it. She knew the meaning behind the detective's words. "I did. Not much, but more than I wanted to. She was just so..."

"Kind," Olivia finished for her. "That's Casey for you. She's tough in the courtroom and will jump through almost any hoop possible to get a guilty verdict. Outside the courtroom though, she is one of the kindest people I have ever known."

"She stayed overnight with me."

Olivia dropped her fork and stared wide-eyed at Alex. "She did what?"

"After we ate our fruit salad she opened up to me a bit. She told me..." she stopped, not quite sure what Olivia knew. She didn't want to say something Olivia didn't already know. "Liv, how much do you know about Casey's past?"

"Everything," Olivia said sadly.

Alex nodded and bit her lower lip. "She told me about Grace, about how Grace was burned. She told me she was in foster care for five years until she was adopted. " She looked up and met Olivia's eyes. "I had just told her about how I'm okay ninety percent of the time, but the other ten percent is pretty rough. Then she just opened up to me."

"Wow." It was the only word that came to Olivia's mind. This wasn't at all like the Casey she knew, but it certainly made her happy to hear Alex's story of what happened the previous evening. She felt like crying. "You are amazing. You have no idea how hard that must have been for her. She obviously cares about you very much."

Alex shook her head and held up her hands. "I haven't done anything special, Liv. You told me to move slowly, so I've been letting her lead, but that's all I've done."

"Well believe me when I tell you that that's a hell of a lot more than she's used to." She smiled, eager to turn the conversation into a more positive direction. The thought of two of her best friends getting together was exciting, and she wanted to make it happen. "So, tell me about last night."

"She held me," Alex said simply. "We were sitting on the couch when I told her about my mother, then she told me a bit about her past. She held my hands, looked me in the eyes, and told me I was beautiful. Then she kissed me."

Olivia laughed. "She kissed you?"

"On the lips. Twice."

"Twice?"

"Yeah. Then she wrapped her arms around me and held me while we watched a movie. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up the next morning, I was lying down on the couch, the blanket I keep on it over me and a pillow under my head. She was asleep on my loveseat. It was a little awkward this morning, but not terribly. Her last words to me before she left for court were that she still wanted to go out for dinner when I was ready."

"Damn, Cabot." Olivia said, pulling out her wallet and paying for her lunch. "You really are the perfect person for her."

* * *

"I hate that I have to leave tomorrow," Grace said, sitting down on the couch in Casey's office. "It's been really nice spending time with you this past week."

"Yes, it has. I'm really glad you came out here. But you've got to get back to Cassie and Brian. Besides, Thanksgiving's in two months. I promise that I will be there. I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world."

"You'd better be. Cassie is dying to meet her Aunt Casey."

Casey laughed. "Well you tell her that I can't wait to meet her either."

Grace picked up a law book from the table in front of her and began flipping through it. "'After the enumeration required by the first article of the Constitution, there shall be one representative for every thirty thousand, until the number shall amount to one hundred, after which the proportion shall be so regulated by Congress, that there shall be not less than one hundred representatives, nor less than one representative for every forty thousand persons, until the number of representatives shall amount to two hundred; after which the proportion shall be so regulated by Congress, that there shall be not less than two hundred representatives, nor more than one representative for every fifty thousand persons...' Casey, what the hell did I just read?"

"Part of the Bill of Rights."

"How does this stuff make sense? It's all a bunch of mumbo jumbo nonsense to me."

Casey laughed. "If you actually read it and study it..." she shook her head and looked up from her notes. "Okay it is all pretty confusing. But I love what I do. It's hell sometimes, but the rewards are amazing."

Grace cocked her head to the side as if considering Casey's words. "Well you always were the studious, uptight one. I think I'll stick with my painting and leave you to all this legal stuff."

"I am not uptight."

"Oh yes you are. But I love you for it. You're serious, dedicated, and loyal." She shrugged her shoulders and put the book back on the table. "You do good work, Casey. You've been saving people since you were thirteen."

"I didn't save you, Grace. The cops did."

"The cops found us. _You_ saved me."

* * *

"Feel like going bowling next weekend?" Olivia asked, walking into Casey's office and sitting down in the chair in front of her desk.

Casey looked up and smiled. "You just drop by my office to ask me that?"

"I did. Elliot wants a rematch."

"He's going to lose."

"I know he is. He just wants another chance."

"Oh I'll give him another chance," Casey said, closing a file and moving on to another one. "But I'm not going to go easy on him. I'll kick his ass the same way I kicked it last time, only this time, it'll be much worse."

"How so?"

"I've been practicing."

Olivia laughed. "Ah. Well you'll be happy to know that he told me he'd love for Alex to come along because she could provide some distraction for you. He told me it was the only way he'd be able to beat you."

"There's no way he's going to beat me. I hate to break it to you, Liv, but your husband is a terrible bowler."

"That he is, but he enjoys it. Besides if you and Alex tag along, I know we'll have a great time."

* * *

"Hi, sweetie," Alex said softly, sitting down on the front steps of a house she'd been called to. A seven-year-old boy had seen his neighbor shoot his wife across the street. As of right now, he was the only witness. It had taken the officers at the scene more than two hours to realize the boy was deaf. _What's your name?_ she signed.

He looked up, met Alex's eyes, and looked away.

She nudged him gently and moved her hands in front of him so he could see what she was signing. _My name's Alex. The cops over there told me you saw something pretty scary, huh?_ When he nodded, she stood up and sat down in front of him. _Can you tell me your name?_

_Nathan._

_Good, Nathan, good._ She waved one of the officers over so she could interpret. She knew the questions to ask, but seeing as how she was no longer an ADA, she had no business asking them. "You ask, I sign," she said.

"Okay," the officer said, turning to wards Nathan. Alex was behind the officer, looking at the frightened child. She signed everything he said. "My name is Detective Abbot. I'm here to help you. Now, you were sitting on this step right here when Mrs. Thomas was shot, right?"

_Yes._

"He was," Alex said.

"Did you see what happened?"

_Yes._

"I know that must have been very scary, but do you think you could tell me what you saw?"

Alex explained as Nathan signed. "I was sitting here waiting for my parents to get back from the store. They went to get ice cream for my birthday party tomorrow. I was playing my DS when I saw them drive into their driveway. I could tell they were fighting because their arms were moving around a lot. Then Mr. Thomas pulled out a gun and Mrs. Thomas fell down. Mr. Thomas went inside after that. I used our TDD machine to call the police."

"Wow," Detective Abbot said. "That was a very brave thing you did, Nathan. I want to thank you very much for telling us what happened."

"He says you're welcome," Alex said. "And he'd like to know if he can go see his parents now."

"Tell him that would be just fine."

* * *

"So do you like being an interpreter?" Elliot asked. He and Olivia had taken her out bowling. Casey had originally agreed to come, but had gotten buried under a mountain of paperwork and promised them she's go out with them the next time.

"I do," she said truthfully. "It's not the excitement I'm used to from my time as an ADA, but it is rewarding. Most of the time I'm working with kids or crime victims. My boss knows about my history, so he tends to call me when they're the ones who need an interpreter."

"Beat that," Olivia said proudly, walking over to them. "Second strike in a row. You two up for this challenge?"

Elliot laughed and grabbed his ball. "I'll be lucky if I can knock down all of them in two tries."

Alex laughed and shook her head. "I don't think I'll be much of a distraction for Casey. And even if I am, judging by how badly you're bowling tonight, it's not going to make much of a difference."

"She will come next time, you know," Olivia told her, cringing as Elliot rolled the ball straight into the gutter. "She actually does have a lot of paperwork to do by tomorrow." She watched Elliot roll his second ball down the lane, clapping proudly as he knocked down five pins. "Casey really seems to like you, Alex.

"I was absolutely blown away by the kiss, Liv. I didn't see it coming." She sighed happily and stood up to take her turn. "She'd better come do this with us next time, too, because I'm one hell of a bowler. I want to see which one of us kicks the other's ass."


	15. Chapter 15

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

* * *

Alex plopped herself down on the recliner in Olivia and Elliot's living room and sighed happily. She and Casey were going out with the two of them later that evening. It was their first double date and she was excited. They were going out for dinner, and then playing a few games of bowling. She hadn't been able to make it to dinner with Casey since their failed attempt two weeks ago, so she was hoping tonight would more than make up for lost time. They had both been busy, Casey in court and her in several different places to do interpretations.

"Liv and I got a call the other day to come talk to a ten-year-old boy at the hospital," Elliot said, sitting down on the couch and passing a large bowl of popcorn to Olivia. He took several bites and raised his eyebrows, eager to pick Alex's brain about the case.

"Ten?" Alex asked. "What happened?"

"Hey, I thought we agreed no work talk tonight," Olivia said quickly. She ate a handful of popcorn and glared at both of them. "The three of us are hanging out for a while and watching a few movies. Then, when Casey's done in court, we're going for dinner and bowling."

Alex laughed and took the popcorn from Olivia. "Oh come on, Liv. I miss my job more than I thought I would. At least humor me a little and talk to me about your cases. Maybe if I know what's going on, I can talk to Casey and we can work together and get more of these assholes off the streets."

Olivia shook her head. "I thought you enjoyed being an interpreter. You told me the other day how much you love doing it."

"I do," Alex said quickly. She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "I really like it a lot. It's just kind of weird being back in New York and no longer being an ADA." She took a few bites of popcorn and exhaled slowly. "I'm happy where I am, trust me. I just get curious sometimes."

Elliot sighed. "Well we're glad you're enjoying doing what you do. You have no idea how much we missed you, nor how happy we are that you're back. I admit though, it is weird with you being here and not being our ADA."

"But you guys love Casey."

"We do. She's got one hell of a conviction rate and never gives up, no matter how slim her chances are. She even subpoenaed Donald Rumsfeld once."

"Seriously?"

"She did. You should talk to her about some of her previous cases. She's got quite a few stories."

Alex laughed and sat back in the recliner. "I can't wait to hear about them."

* * *

"The people request high bail, your honor," Casey said, staring Judge Petrovsky in the face.

"Your honor, my client has many ties to the community," the defense attorney, Janet Raiter, said. "She has several charity engagements to attend and would very much like to be there to receive her humanitarian award."

"Well then your client should have thought about that before she locked her children in a closet and left them there to starve."

"Objection!" Janet yelled. "My client is a pillar of this community. There is no reason to –"

"Enough," Petrovsky said loudly. "Bail is set at two hundred fifty thousand."

Casey sighed as she heard Petrovsky bang the gavel. She had hoped bail would be set higher. Elaine Marshall, millionaire philanthropist seated at the top of everyone's list of most charitable donors to childrens' charities, would be out in no time. Luckily, her four foster children would not be released back to her care. She was famous in the community for taking in foster kids nobody else wanted. All of them – seventeen, as far as Casey knew – were so severely disabled they had very little to no communication abilities. All of them, that is, except one. Nine-year-old Michelle was blind and hard of hearing. According to her, Elaine had taken her hearing aids as soon as Michelle walked into the house. Luckily, Michelle had been able to explain that she and her three foster siblings had been locked in the closet for a long time, though she didn't know why.

"Bitch deserves to rot in prison for the rest of her life for what she did," Casey said, walking into her office and sitting down at her desk. She wanted to get a little paperwork done before she and Alex went out with Elliot and Olivia. She looked over her notes and frowned. She had all the names of Elaine's previous foster children, but there was almost no chance of proving any of them had been abused. "It's always the ones who can't speak for themselves."

"They're the ones who are most in need of someone to speak for them."

Casey looked up and frowned sadly. Arthur Branch was standing in her doorway, looking at her with a concerned expression on his face. "I don't know if I can get her on the other kids. I don't even know if she abused the other kids."

"Come on, Casey. Look at the four your detectives found locked in her closet. She took away that little girl's hearing aids. She punished those kids by starving them when they didn't do exactly what she wanted them to do. There's no way those other kids weren't harmed."

"I know," she said, rubbing her temples in frustration. She looked down at her notes and frowned. "I just don't know of I can prove that. None of those kids have any communication abilities. None of them can tell us what happened to them. None of them are going to have any injuries from being in her care. They've all been out of it for at least six months."

Branch took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest. "Go home."

"What?"

"It's Friday night and it's almost six. You've been in since five this morning. There's no way you can focus on that paperwork in front of you. Go home. Get some rest. Come back in here refreshed on Monday."

She offered him a small smile and closed the file in front of her. "I'm pretty sure I can get her on these four kids, especially with what Michelle can tell us, but it's going to be tough. She's rich, she's famous for donating to childrens' charities, and she's damn good at acting innocent."

"That's why you need to go home." He cocked his head in the direction of the door and smiled. "You and Cabot have a good time with Benson and Stabler. Get some rest afterwards, then come in here refreshed and ready to put that woman behind bars."

* * *

"Casey, hey. Come on in," Olivia said, opening the door and inviting Casey side. "You look nice."

Casey smiled. "Thanks. I'm sorry I'm late. Paperwork got ahead of me and before I knew it, it was time to get here. So I ran home, changed quickly, and came over as fast as I could."

Olivia held her in the hallway for a moment, not quite ready to go into the living room. "Hey, you seem a little tense. Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Casey lied, wrapping her arms around herself and forcing a smile. "That Elaine Marshall case is just hitting a little close to home." She shook her head and sighed. "I'm fine. Let's go out and have a good time tonight."

Olivia wrapped an arm around Casey and led her out to the living room. "Don't worry about tonight, Case," she said before they turned the corner into the living room. "I know dating's hard for you, and I would never want you to put yourself into a situation you're not comfortable with. Have fun, and trust your instincts." She gave Casey a gentle squeeze and walked around the corner. "Hey guys, look who's here."

"Hey! Time to get the hell out of this place," Elliot said, pulling Alex up with him. "It's about time you showed up."

Casey laughed. "Yeah, sorry. Paperwork's a bitch."

"Don't we know it. You ready?"

"Yep," Casey answered. She smiled as Alex walked over and took her hand. "Hey."

"Hey yourself. You look great."

"So do you. You ready to let me finally take you out to dinner?"

Alex studied Casey's face. It had been two weeks since she had received the note from her mother, and while she was sure she was fine, she was still hesitant. She hated how nervous she was to eat in front of other people. Eating shouldn't be this difficult. One nice meal with her friends was not going to make her fat.

"You look beautiful," Casey whispered to her as they walked down the hallway. She gave Alex's hand a gentle squeeze and smiled warmly. "It's my treat tonight, okay? You get whatever you want, be it a salad or a huge pasta dish. No pressure, okay?"

"Thanks." She gently nudged Casey and followed Elliot and Olivia out to their car. "You look amazing tonight, by the way. I love that green on you."

* * *

"So Elliot tells me you once subpoenaed Donald Rumsfeld," Alex said, taking a bite of her bead stick. She had opted for the spinach and artichoke dip, one of her favorites, and was relieved at how easily she was able to eat it. Everyone else around her was also eating, which made it easier, but it was still a relief. "This I have got to hear."

Casey blushed. "Two officers who had recently returned from war went crazy. One raped his wife and the other killed his wife. After a lot of digging around, we found they had both taken a drug called Quinium. That drug apparently has some pretty severe side effects. I couldn't get anywhere with it, so I subpoenaed him."

"Wow. Ballsy."

"I had to do something," Casey said simply. "I didn't get anywhere with it, obviously. I was actually lucky to keep my job, but at least I tried."

Elliot laughed. "They buried her with paperwork. You should have seen her office. Boxes stacked on boxes stacked on boxes. Most of it was ridiculous crap she didn't need, but she was determined to go through every inch of it."

"Branch was pissed. He told me to drop it immediately."

Alex shook her head. "That's so awesome though. Just that you subpoenaed him and all."

Olivia stabbed her ravioli with a fork and raised her eyebrows. "She also asked Taft to recuse himself."

"You did what?"

Casey shrugged. "He was clearly biased against me. Bastard had the nerve to tell me it would be good if I wore a skirt while in his courtroom."

"I never did like that man."

"Nobody does. He didn't recuse himself, of course, but I ended up sticking it to him in the end. He had some ex parte communication with the defendant. I brought it up in court and he claimed to have thought the woman had made a mistake. He told the courtroom that he thought they were good people. I nailed the bitch, and definitely damaged Taft's reputation."

_Damn,_ Alex thought. _The more I know about you, the more attractive you are._ She smiled and finished her dinner. "You all ready to go bowling? I hear Casey over here is pretty good, and I'd really like to see which one of us is better."

* * *

"I had a lot of fun tonight," Alex said softly as Casey walked her to her door. "Thanks for dinner, and for the bowling. You're pretty damn good."

"Not as good as you, apparently."

Alex shrugged. "I beat you by three pins. I'd say we're pretty evenly matched."

"Well I'd love to do it again sometime."

"So would I." They had reached Alex's front door and Alex wanted nothing more than to kiss the woman standing in front of her. She licked her lips and bit gritted her teeth. "You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now."

Casey smiled and leaned forward. "Then kiss me."

Alex met Casey's eyes, smiled warmly, and leaned over and gently kissed her. The connection was intense, and the feeling of Casey's lips against hers was one she didn't want to end. She wrapped her hand around Casey's head and pulled her close, happy when Casey didn't pull away. If anything, the kiss became more passionate. When Casey finally pulled away, Alex bit her lower lip. "Do you want to come in for a drink or anything?"

Casey hesitated and looked back towards her car. She'd had a good time, and the kiss was something she'd hope to have again. But she was exhausted, and going into Alex's house this late to have drinks could have meanings and implications she wasn't ready for. Having a few drinks with her girlfriend was one thing. _Did I really just think of her as my girlfriend? What the hell is happening to me?_ But doing that after a nice date, especially this late at night, was a completely different matter all together.

"It's just drinks," Alex whispered gently. She rubbed Casey's arms and smiled, looking into her eyes and nodding reassuringly. "I had a really great time tonight. I had dinner with friends, with my girlfriend – and yes, I think I can now refer to you as my girlfriend, if that's okay with you." She waited for Casey to nod before continuing. "I wasn't afraid to eat. There was never any pressure at all."

"Of course there wasn't. I would love for you to eat whatever you want and as much of it as you want, but I'd never push it." She bit her lower lip and shook her head. "Pressure's probably the worst thing you can do to a person."

Alex nodded. Casey hadn't told her much, but it seemed like every time they had a private conversation, she shared a bit more about her past. "I only invited you in because I like spending time with you. No pressure. We'll sit on separate sides of the couch if you want." She laughed at Casey's smile. It was the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. "If you want to leave it where we are, I'd say that kiss was one hell of a good way to end a date."

Casey shook her head and took a deep breath, holding it in for quite a while. The look on Alex's face told her there was no pressure and there were no expectations. Her experiences, however, told her that there were always expectations in situations like this. "Just drinks."

"Just drinks."

"Okay," she said, taking Alex's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'd like that." She followed Alex inside and into the kitchen, grateful when Alex allowed her to fix her own drink. "Thanks for not expecting anything or pressuring..."

Alex put the vodka back in the cabinet and led Casey out into the living room. "You said it yourself."

"What did I say?"

"Pressure's probably the worst thing you can do to a person." She shook her head and leaned closer so she could meet Casey's eyes. "I don't know much about your past, but I know enough that pressuring you to do something is the last thing I want to do. I would never do that."

Casey nodded. "I know." She leaned back and looked over at the shelves of DVDs Alex had. "How many movies do you own? That's got to be at least triple the number I own, and I've got a damn good collection."

Alex was relieved to see Casey relaxing. If witnessing your eight-year-old foster sister getting burned was the least of what Casey had been through, Alex cringed to think what else there might be. She could make a few assumptions, but doing that would be a bad idea. For now, she just wanted to let Casey lead. She'd follow happily. "I like movies. You in the mood for anything in particular?"

"I like comedies. The cheesier the better."

Alex nodded and walked over to the shelves. "Well then come on up here and pick one out. We'll watch it. We'll enjoy it. We'll kiss again – if you want to, of course. After that, well, we'll do whatever you want."


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

* * *

It was after two in the morning and Olivia couldn't sleep. Her mind just wouldn't shut off no matter how hard she tried to silence it. She rolled over and sighed at the man sleeping next to her, caressing his face gently. "I have no idea what I did to deserve you, or why you chose me," she said softly, "but I'm so glad to have you as my husband. I love you more than you know." With that, she climbed out of bed and made her way into the living room.

The first picture on the mantle above the fireplace was of her and Casey at her wedding. Their arms were wrapped around each other and they each had a huge smile on their face. They both looked so incredibly happy. Olivia was pretty sure Casey was just as excited about the wedding as she was. She smiled as she traced the frame and moved on to the next picture. She and Elliot were exchanging their vows. The love in their eyes in that picture was the same love they still had when they looked at each other. If anything, that love had grown over the two years they'd been married. Looking at that picture always put a smile on her face. The third picture was of Elliot and his children. The love that man had for his kids was incredible, and she had been amazed at how quickly they had accepted her into the family. She stopped at the final picture and picked it up, taking it over to the couch and sitting down, staring intently at her mother's face.

He could see her from the hallway. Even exhausted, and with disheveled hair, she was still the most beautiful woman on the planet. He smiled as she looked at the pictures, thankful that he was able to look into this intimate moment of hers. When she sat down on the couch with her mother's picture, he noticed a single tear slide down her cheek. He frowned, immediately knowing exactly what she was thinking. "Don't even go there, Liv."

She looked up and hastily wiped away a tear. "Sorry. I didn't wake you up did I?"

He shook his head and sat down next to her. "You not being next to me woke me up. I don't sleep very well when you're not next to me."

She sighed and set the picture down on the coffee table. "I just couldn't fall asleep. Figured I'd come out here and do some thinking."

Elliot stood up and walked over to the mantle, taking the picture with him. He grabbed the picture of Olivia and Casy, and the one of their wedding vows, and brought them over to her. "Then do some thinking about these two pictures." He held his breath for several seconds before she took the pictures from him. "I know how much you loved your mother, Liv. The two of you did have some good times together, but that's not where I saw you going when you were looking at that picture."

"Probably because that's not where I was going."

"I know, and I hate to see that pain in your eyes." He tapped the picture of her and Casey and smiled. "Look how happy you are here. Even your eyes are smiling. That's the look I want to see on your face."

She shook her head and laughed. "That's the look I want to have in my eyes. I don't know, I just...sometimes I feel like it would be easier not to have loved her so much, you know?"

He wrapped his arm around her and squeezed gently. "There is nothing wrong with the fact that you loved your mother, Liv. No matter what she did to you, she was still your mother. Yes, I know you hated her, but you also loved her. And that's okay."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled. "You know what else I love?"

"What?"

"This picture," she said, holding up the one of the two of them exchanging their vows.

"This picture, huh?"

"Yep. And the man in it."

He leaned over and kissed her gently. "Well I love the woman in it. More than she could ever possibly know."

* * *

Casey looked over at Alex as the second movie – an Ellen DeGeneres stand-up – ended and smiled. Alex was fast asleep. She looked so peaceful. Casey quietly ejected the movie from the DVD player and put it away on the shelf. Alex's movie collection was impressive. "I'll have to figure out a way to get myself over here more often," she whispered. "She's got movies I've never even heard of."

"You're always welcome to come over," Alex said, stretching and sitting up. "I've liked watching movies with you. It's been fun."

"I should probably get going. It's late."

"It's after one. You can crash here if you want. My guest bedroom's not ready for anyone yet, but the couch is very much available. I've fallen asleep on it several times and haven't woken up with any aches or pains."

"Considering what you paid for that thing, I'm not surprised."

Alex laughed and shrugged it off. "I just like being comfortable. Seriously though, if you're tired the couch is yours." She smiled and met Casey's eyes. "I know it's way too early in this relationship to even talk about sharing a bed, so don't even go there. I'm not ready for that either. I just thought you might be tired and want to crash here."

Casey hesitated, internally chastising herself for being so nervous. _You'd be on her couch. It's not like she's going to try anything here! You've stayed the night before and nothing happened._ She was exhausted, too. She licked her lips nervously and nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Do you need something to sleep in?"

"I actually have a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt in my car. I'll go grab them."

Alex nodded and walked towards the stairs. "I've got sheets and stuff upstairs in a closet. Why don't you go grab your clothes and I'll get the couch set up?"

"Sounds good. I'll be right back." She walked outside to her car and pulled her clothes out as slowly as she could. It wasn't that she didn't trust Alex. It really had nothing to do with trust at all. It was her own insecurities and past experiences that were worrying her so much. Grace, Olivia, and Elliot were all encouraging her to try this dating thing out with Alex, so that had to mean something. And so far, Alex had been nothing but kind and respectful. She wasn't used to her boyfriends or girlfriends (Alex was only her second girlfriend) treating her that way. She took a deep breath, held it for several seconds, and went back inside.

"I thought you might have bailed on me," Alex joked as Casey walked into the living room.

"Nah, I just couldn't find my sweatshirt."

"Well the couch is all set up. I'm not much of a morning person, so the only way I'll be up before nine is if the house is on fire. There's plenty of coffee and tea in the kitchen if you're up before me. Feel free to help yourself."

"Thanks." She shifted the clothes in her arms and cocked her head towards the hallway. "I think I'll go get changed a wash my face."

Alex nodded. "Okay. I'm going to head to bed. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything."

"Good night."

"'Night, Casey. Sleep well."

"You, too."

* * *

"So, Thanksgiving's next week," Elliot said as he and Olivia sat down for breakfast. "You want to do anything?"

"You mean besides the frozen turkey, frozen green beans, and instant stuffing we always do?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I do love how simple we've always made it. Still, might be fun to go all out."

"It's just the two of us this year, remember? Casey's going to her parents' house."

"True, but what about Alex? Do you honestly think she's going to want to spend Thanksgiving with her mother?"

Olivia cringed. The thought of Alex sitting down at that dinner table, surrounded by lots of food and being constantly criticized for eating any of it was upsetting. "I guess we could do something nice and invite her over. She makes a damn good macaroni and cheese."

"She loves her cheese."

"That she does."

Elliot took a bite of his bagel and thought for a few minutes. "So, fresh turkey this year?"

"Do you know how to gut a turkey? I've always gotten them with the guts already out."

"Yeah, I've done it many times."

"Then that's all on you. You want it, you do it. I'll do the stuffing."

"What else should we have?"

She thought for a moment and realized she had absolutely no idea what a typical family-style Thanksgiving dinner was supposed to be like. She had never had one growing up, and had only started even celebrating Thanksgiving once she'd married Elliot. They'd always taken the easy way out, too. "Honestly, El, I've got no idea."

"Well we have to have mashed potatoes and gravy. We could do cranberry sauce, too."

She had to admit, she was getting pretty excited. "Fresh mashed potatoes, right? Not the ones from a box. I had those way too often growing up and they're not very good."

"Of course fresh ones." He was about to make a comment about boxed mashed potatoes not being real Thanksgiving cuisine but thought better of it. He could only guess what her family dinners had been like growing up. "They're delicious, especially when you add garlic."

"Boil, then mash, right?"

"Then add the garlic."

She smiled as she took a bite of her cereal. "I guess we'd better give Alex a call then, huh?"

"We probably should."

She pulled out her phone, but before dialing Alex's number, she looked up at him and smiled thankfully. "I don't think I've ever had a true, traditional Thanksgiving dinner. This is going to be really nice."

"It'll be even nicer because you'll have your husband with you," he joked.

"My husband _and_ one of my best friends. I'd wish Casey was coming too, but I'm too happy she's finally getting back out to see her parents to be disappointed. Besides, we've always got next year."

"And by then you know the two of them will be very much together."

"I think they already are pretty much together. Casey just needs to work some things out before she's ready to get too serious. Knowing Alex though, that shouldn't take too long."

"We're going to be going on a lot of double dates."

She smiled mischievously. "You're going to be surrounded by women. Think you can handle it?"

"You keep forgetting I have three daughters and an ex-wife. Trust me, I can handle women."

* * *

Casey parked her car in front of her parents' house and turned it off. As excited as she was, she was also nervous. Seeing everyone again was going to bring back a lot of memories she had spent the last several years trying to bury in various closets. She'd been dealing with them most of her life, and escaping to New York had allowed her to push them aside and pretend like they didn't exist. She looked up at the house and noticed one of the curtains quickly close. She laughed. They were watching her. "Okay," she said to herself, getting out and pulling her suitcase out of her trunk. "It's time."

"Casey!" Her mother exclaimed as soon as she opened the door. "Get in here so I can give you a hug. It's been far too long." She waited until Casey was inside and had set her suitcase down, then wrapped her arms around her and squeezed tightly. "It's so good to see you, honey."

"It's good to see you too, mom," Casey said, returning the hug. "I'm sorry I've been so distant lately. I'd use my job as an excuse, but I know you'd see right through that bull shit."

"You know I would." She grabbed Casey's suitcase, hushing her before she could object, and led her into the living room. "Grace and Brian got in last night, and little Cassie has been talking about you since she walked in the door."

All of a sudden, Casey felt something squeezing her legs. She looked down and saw a small child with her arms wrapped around her. "Hi, Aunt Casey! You're how I got my name!"

Casey laughed and shook the girl's outstretched hand. "And you must be Cassidy."

Cassie grimaced. "It's Cassie. Cassidy's for when I'm bad."

"Ah. Cassie it is then."

"Do you wanna play legos? I got a whole new box just for comin' to see Gramma and Grandpa!"

"Cassie, sweetie," Grace said, walking into the living room and putting an arm on Cassie's shoulder. "Give your aunt some room to breathe. She just walked in."

"But mom," she whined.

Grace looked at her sternly. "Cassidy..."

Cassie looked up at Casey and smiled. "See? That means I'm bein' bad."

Casey looked up at Grace and laughed. "It's fine, really." She walked over and hugged her. "And it's really good to see you again." She rested her chin on Grace's shoulder and whispered to her, "You have no idea how good it feels to be here right now. Thanks for convincing me to come."

"I'm just glad you could come." She pulled out of the hug and turned to Cassie. "Now, remember last night when you promised to help cook dinner tomorrow? I'm going to hold you to that promise, missy."

Cassie stood straight and saluted. "Yes, ma'am." She turned to Casey. "I can stir the mashed potatoes and put the green beans in a bowl!"

"Well I'm sure that'll be a big help. I'm not so sure if your mommy knows how to do those things."

"Okay you two, enough. The last thing I need is for you to join Cassie and my husband in ganging up on me. I need you on my side, Case."

Casey shook her head. "Hey, I'm choosing whichever side I think is going to win." She grabbed Cassie's hand and pulled her close. "And right now, it looks as though your daughter has the upper hand."

Grace looked over at her mother. "I just can't win, can I?"

"Could you ever?"

"With Casey as my sister? Never. That woman was a born lawyer. It's impossible to win against her."

Casey laughed and looked at Cassie. "So, Cassie, I heard you got a new lego set. Do you think you could teach me how to play legos?"

"You've never played legos, Aunt Casey?"

"Nope. Never."

Cassie turned to her mother and put her hands together. "Please, mommy? Can I _please_ teacher Aunt Casey how to play legos?"

_Aw hell, how am I supposed to say no to the begging face?_ "Okay, but not too long. I'm sure you're Aunt Casey is very tired from all the driving she's done."

"YAY!" Cassie screamed, then ran out of the room to retrieve her newest box of legos.

"Are you sure she's only three?" Casey asked.

"Uh, seeing as how I delivered her, I'm pretty sure, yeah. Why?"

Casey shook her head. "She's a bit...I don't know. She seems advanced for her age."

Grace shrugged. "She was speaking full sentences shortly after she turned two. She knows her letters and her numbers and how to write her name. I don't really have anything to compare her to since she's the only three-year-old I have. She'll be in preschool in January."

"She's beautiful, by the way."

"She really is. She's a handful – has a ton of energy – but Brian and I love her."

"Speaking of Brian, where is he?"

"Out getting the last minute food items we need with dad."

Casey sat down on the couch and smiled as her mother and sister sat down on either side of her. "I'm sorry I've been so distant these past few years," she said after a few moments of silence. Cassie had either been unable to find her legos or had gotten distracted by something, so she took this time to talk to them in a way she couldn't if the little girl were there. "Grace, you have no idea how angry I was when you just showed up at my apartment that night."

"Oh, I can pretty much guess just how angry you were."

"Well I'm just glad you did what you did. And I am so excited to spend the next few days with you all."


	17. Chapter 17

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

**This chapter has a bit of a description of Casey's past, so if you can't/don't want to read about the rape, please feel free to skip it.**

* * *

Alex was pacing back and forth in her closet, trying to figure out what she needed. Sure, her walk-in closet was the size of a typical New York City studio apartment, and sure, it was full of clothes, but she still wanted another dress. She was lucky that Olivia had managed to save a good portion of her clothing after she "died," but it still didn't even come close to what she used to have. Her old stuff had gone to charity though, so she didn't feel too bad about it.

She quickly picked up her phone and dialed Casey's number. Before Casey could even say hello, she started talking. "Any chance you're free this afternoon? I know you just got back yesterday, but I need to go shopping and I don't want to go alone."

"Well hello to you too, Alex," Casey said, laughing. "And yeah, I'm free."

"Great. Wear shoes you're comfortable walking in...really comfortable walking in."

"Okay," Casey said, confusion clearly evident in her voice.

"You've never been shopping with me, so I feel like I should warn you."

"Warn me? Should I be scared?"

Alex paused for dramatic effect. "It's an experience."

"Where are we going?"

"Fifth Avenue. There's a few stores I want to look in."

"Aw hell, Alex. I don't think I own anything I can wear there."

"Oh hush. Wear that green v-neck you've got and a pair of black pants. You've got plenty of flats to complete the outfit. Leave your hair down. It's gorgeous like that. And throw on a necklace and some earrings. You'll be good to go."

Casey shook her head and laughed. "When do you want to go?"

"How soon can you be ready?"

"Give me an hour."

"Then that's when I'll be there."

* * *

"You look like you're ready to walk down a fricken' runway," Casey said, opening the door and taking in the sight in front of her. Alex was wearing a simple black sleeveless top with a few ruffles around the neckline, tight jeans, and a pair of pumps. She always managed to make even the simplest outfits look amazing.

"And I love that green on you. We need to get you some more tops in that color."

Casey shook her head. "Well I guess I'll have to hit up some stores that are a bit far from where we're going. I can't exactly spend five hundred plus on a shirt."

Alex shrugged. "I can, and if I find one I like for you, I'm getting it."

"Don't you dare spend that much money on a shirt for me."

"Fine. I promise you I won't spend five hundred dollars on a shirt for you." She led Casey out to her car and they climbed in. "I make no promises about what I buy for myself though."

* * *

They were walking out of the final store – Saks Fifth Avenue – when Alex saw her. She rolled her eyes and slung her bag over her shoulder, hoping to get out of this as quickly and painlessly as possible.. "What are you doing here, mom?"

Victoria looked over at Casey, sneered, then looked back at her daughter. "Just checking in on my daughter. I am allowed to do that, am I not?"

Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The last time she had spoken to her mother was that dinner so many weeks ago. It was getting to the point where she was almost ready to just completely write her mother out of her life. "I'm fine, mother. I'm a little busy at the moment, so you'll understand if I can't stay and chat."

Victoria stopped Alex before she could walk away. "You're busy with that whore of yours," she said quietly, though not quietly enough to be out of Casey's earshot. She glared at Casey for a moment, then turned back to Alex. "What have you had to eat today, Alexandra?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I had a salad for lunch. Now, we really must be going." She took Casey's arm and started to pull her away.

"She's no good for you, Alexandra," Victoria yelled. She walked up to Alex and stood toe-to-toe with her, looking her straight in the eyes. "Look at the two of you, parading yourselves around like a bunch of...well, you know. And look at her. Do you want to be as fat as her? You will be if you continue on this ridiculous little phase you seem to be in. You're going to be fat, and you're going to lose all your friends because of it. I know from experience what that's like."

Now it was Casey's turn to be pissed. "Okay, lady, come here." She grabbed Victoia's arm and pulled her away from Alex, ignoring the woman's protests. "Look, I don't know you and you don't know me. From what I've heard about you and from what I'm seeing right now, I'd really like to keep it that way. Now you can insult me all you want. I really don't give a fuck. But don't you dare think for one moment that you can stand here and insult your daughter and expect me to sit back and watch."

"You little bitch," Victoria said through clenched teeth. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Casey shrugged. "Victoria Cabot. Filthy rich heiress. Psycopathic, narcissistic nutcase. Yeah, I think I know exactly who you are. And you know what? I don't give a shit who you are. Now if you'll please leave us alone, Alex and I have some shopping to do."

Victoria laughed. "Turn around, sweetie. My Alexandra has finally come to her senses and left you."

Casey turned around and realized Alex was no longer behind her. "Shit," she muttered, walking back into the store and heading for the restroom, hoping Alex was okay. She was relieved when she saw Alex calmly walking away from the register. "Hey, I turned around and couldn't find you."

"You stood up to my mother," Alex said, handing Casey a bag.

"What's this?"

"Nobody stands up to my mother. They always just walk away. But you actually stood up to her."

Casey laughed nervously. "I didn't like what she was saying about you. You're beautiful, Alex. She's got an eating disorder and she's pushing it onto you. I just, I don't know. I heard her saying those things and I snapped."

"Well consider this a little token of my appreciation."

Casey slowly reached into the bag and pulled out a shiny blue satin blouse. Her eyes widened as she held it up. It was absolutely beautiful, and she knew it was a great color on her. "Alex, you promised –"

"I promised not to spend five hundred dollars on a shirt for you, and I promise you this cost less than five hundred."

"Alex, you just bought a three hundred dollar handbag and a four hundred dollar pair of pumps. That's about how much my monthly rent is. I can't let you walk back into that store and spend who knows how much –"

"Casey, stop," Alex said. She pulled Casey outside and led her around the corner so they could have some privacy. "I've done my fair share of dating, believe me. And my mother has treated every single one of them like shit. None of them have ever stood up to her. Sure they've come home with me and assured me everything she said was crap, but you are the _only_ one to ever stand up to her to her face."

"Alex, I just did what I had to do to get her to shut up." She smiled and wrapped an arm around her. "I don't know what her deal is, or why she keeps insisting you're overweight or going to be overweight and lose everything, but she's wrong." She shrugged as they started walking towards Alex's car. She didn't feel like she'd done anything that significant, but it really seemed to matter to Alex. "I just wanted her to know that she can't talk about you like that in front of me."

"And that's why I got you the shirt. It's a beautiful shirt, and you're going to look beautiful in it." She held Casey's hand with one hand while keeping her other on the wheel. "I'm not going to go crazy and spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on you. That would only make things uncomfortable. And I do _not _expect you to spend any money on me. You're more than welcome to if you're able and want to, but I don't expect it." She laughed and looked over at Casey as they stopped at a red light. "And don't you start expecting me to buy you all your clothes. I know you're more than capable of providing for yourself. I just saw the shirt, realized just what it was you were doing with my mother outside, and had to get it for you."

"Well I appreciate it. Just know that if we have any more run-ins with your mother, I'm not going to just sit back and let her say that shit. I'm going to get in her face and give me a piece of her mind."

"You're incredible, Casey. Do you know that?"

"Nah. Just confident. If I can stand in a courtroom and ask Judge Taft to recuse himself, I think I can stand up to your mother. Promise me something though."

"What?"

"Don't buy me a shirt every time it happens."

Alex laughed. "I promise."

* * *

Alex grabbed her bathrobe and wrapped it around herself as she made her way out to the kitchen for a glass of water. It was the third night in a row she'd spent at Casey's. She'd been invited to stay over after their shopping spree, and she was relieved that she didn't have to go home to an empty house. Watching Casey stand up for her had meant much more than she had let on, and now all she wanted to do was spend as much time with the woman as possible. She'd stayed in the guest bedroom, which was fine with her. They'd barely been dating three months, and it was too early for Casey to do anything. Alex was fine with that. The last thing she wanted to do was make Casey uncomfortable. She walked out of the bedroom and down the hall, pausing when she saw Casey sitting on the couch, staring blankly across the room. "Hey," she said softly, pausing when Casey jumped suddenly. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," Casey said, trying to catch her breath. It was four in the morning, so she hadn't expected Alex to come walking out of the guestroom. "I just didn't hear you get up."

"I was trying to be quiet."

"Oh you were. Believe me, you were."

Alex took a few steps into the living room and noticed the tension in Casey's face. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just couldn't sleep."

"Need anything?"

"I don't think so, but thanks."

Alex nodded and made her way into the kitchen. Something was clearly bothering Casey and while she didn't want to push her, she did want to make sure she was really okay before going back to bed. She fixed two glasses of water and brought them out to the living room. "Here," she whispered, setting a glass down in front of her. "Thought you might like some water."

"Thanks," Casey said, picking it up and taking a long sip. It was exactly what she wanted. The nightmare she'd had a few hours before had been pretty bad, and it had been months since she'd had one, so she was fairly shaken up. She smiled gratefully at Alex and was surprised when the woman sat down in the chair across from her.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," Casey lied. "I'm fine."

"You know, I used to be a pretty damn good lawyer. I learned how to read people. You, my dear, are lying." She paused and looked at Casey seriously. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I just want to make sure you're okay. Just...just know that I'm safe, okay? No matter what, I promise you I'm safe."

Casey swallowed nervously and looked up into Alex's eyes. She saw no deception in them, no lies. She saw only kindness and compassion. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, not sure where to begin. "You need to know some things about my past," she started slowly. "Then you can make an informed decision."

"Informed decision?"

"Most people tend to run screaming as far away from me as possible."

Casey was trying to joke, trying to lessen the tension that was building up in the room, Alex could see that. "I'm not going to run screaming," she said softly. "You're the best damn girlfriend I've ever had, and I really, really want this to work out between us – "

"So do I. And that's why you need to know a few things."

Alex nodded. "Okay. What you can, when you can, okay?" She wasn't one hundred percent sure Casey was ready to have this conversation, so she was going to urge her to move slowly. "Don't force it."

"My parents were actually my foster parents first," she said, voiding her voice of emotion as she looked out the window. "My dad's brother came to stay with us one weekend while my parents went out of town. I don't remember much, just that we – Grace and I – were eating dinner and all of a sudden I was really tired. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was naked in some basement. Grace was, too. He came in and raped me, then told me it was up to me whether or not he raped Grace. I could take him again, or he could do her. So I begged him not to hurt her. She was eight. I was thirteen. I was supposed to protect her. So I let him have me again."

"Casey," Alex whispered, slowly reaching over to take Casey's hand.

"Don't touch me!" Casey yelled, jumping and jerking her hand away. She fought the tears for several seconds before turning to look at Alex. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect –"

"It's okay," Alex whispered sitting up and leaning slightly away from Casey. "I shouldn't have reached over like that."

Casey shook her head and smiled warmly. This was hard, but it wasn't nearly as hard as she'd expected it to be. There were very, very few who knew about her past. She'd tried telling a few of the people she'd dated, but that was only very small bits and pieces, and it had never ended well. "I just thought if I took it, she'd be safe," she said when she was sure she could continue. Her gazed went back to the window, but she managed to keep telling Alex her story. "He came down every single night for a week. And every single night I begged him to leave her alone and take me. Sometimes he even made me get down on my knees and beg him, but I did, because I did not want to let him hurt her. She saw everything, but at least she was safe." She took a deep breath and looked down at the glass of water in her hands. "At the end of that week, he came down with a friend. They both raped me. Vaginally, anally, orally. Over and over and over again they took turns. It went on for hours. I had to have three surgeries to repair the damage they did to me. His friend left, and he told me I had a choice. I could have a repeat of what I'd just been through, or I could let him do one thing to Grace that night. I was lying on the floor, bleeding and barely conscious. I couldn't do it. I couldn't get up and beg him to take me again. So I just laid there. And I watched him take a huge pot of boiling water and pour it on her chest. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I had been able to stop him. She has permanent scarring all over her chest and part of her neck because of me. Anyways, our parents finally found something that allowed the cops to search his place, and they found us a few hours later."

Alex hesitated for a moment, trying to assess the situation to the best of her ability. Very slowly, she stood up and sat down next to Casey, relieved when it didn't startle her. She was surprised when she felt Casey reach over and take her hand. Squeezing it gently, Alex looked her in the eyes. "You are the strongest, bravest, most beautiful woman I know. I don't even know what to say. I just...you're amazing. And what you said at the end, about her being burned because of you, I never want to hear you say that again. You couldn't have stopped him, honey."

"I didn't even try."

"Casey, you were barely conscious. I'm sure the pain was so bad you could barely focus on anything."

"I wanted to stop him," she whispered, a single tear sliding down her face.

"I know you did. And you stopped him all those nights before." She brushed the hair out of Casey's face and wrapped her arms around her. Hearing Casey's story was heartbreaking, and she had no idea what to do or say. She hoped that by just being here, holding her close, she was doing something. "I'm still here, okay? You didn't scare me off or anything, I promise."

Casey took in a deep, shaky breath and managed a small smile as she felt Alex's fingers combing through her hair. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"Everything."

"You know I could say the same thing to you. Thanks for everything you've done." She allowed Casey to lean her head on her shoulder and they leaned back into the couch. "I'm really glad you were able to tell me about what happened. I'm honored you trusted me enough."

"You made it really easy. You've made this whole relationship really great for me. No pressure, no expectations of anything. Trust me when I say that I didn't get much of that before you."

"Well that's all you'll get from me, Case. I promise."

"I know." She closed her eyes as she started to fall asleep. She felt safe wrapped up in Alex's arms, and she was relieved that she'd been able to get everything out. As she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, she knew that Alex was the bet thing that ever happened to her.


	18. Chapter 18

**I don't own them. Dick does. And I'm not making any money off of them.**

**Sorry for the delay in updating. My life got a little crazy this past week, but it's calming down now, so I have time to update. :) **

* * *

Casey woke up with a slight start, not able to figure out where she was or why she wasn't in her bed. She felt Alex gently combing her fingers through her hair and it all came back to her. She took a deep, nervous breath and sat up, trying to avoid Alex's eyes. "Morning," she whispered. "Sorry I fell asleep on you like that...literally."

"Don't be," Alex said softly. She wasn't sure what to do right now, so she thought it best to let Casey lead. "Besides, I like having you in my arms. It's a nice feeling."

Casey smiled. This was all very new to her, but she was starting to like it. "You have no idea how much it means that you're not pushing this. I...I used to do a lot of things with dates, hoping that I'd be able to get through it and just move on. It never lasted very long, and I always abruptly ended things because none of them seemed interested in anything besides sex. Eventually I just stopped dating." Confessing like this was completely new territory for her, and it was hard. At the same time, however, these things needed to be said, and she was relieved to find that Alex was listening first and talking second.

"I love sex," Alex said bluntly. "It can be a beautiful, wonderful thing when two people connect on such an intimate level." She sighed and paused for a minute. "But it can also be a terrible, horrifying thing. I will never do anything that you don't want to do. You tell me to stop, and we stop, no questions asked, okay?"

"I know," Casey said with a slight nod. She stood up and pulled Alex off the couch. "I still need a bit of time to figure a few things out, but I know. The rational side of my brain that knows what you're saying is true just needs some time to convince the emotional, not-so-sure side."

Wrapping her arms around Casey and pulling her close, Alex smiled and bit her lower lip. She was surprised when Casey's lips met hers, but returned it with as much enthusiasm as she dared. "You are one hell of a good kisser, do you know that?"

"As are you. What do you say we go over to Liv and Elliot's and play a few games? Liv called me a couple of days ago and said she'd love for us to come over."

"Yeah. That could be fun."

"Breakfast first?" She smiled warmly, hoping Alex didn't realize she'd noticed the brief moment of hesitation that flashed in her eyes. "I'd love to make you another fruit bowl. I've even got some granola and vanilla yogurt if you're interested."

Alex laughed lightly. "I'd love some. Thank you." She waited for Casey to finish in the kitchen. It was during this time that she realized how much she cared about the woman fixing her breakfast. She smiled gratefully and shook her head as the bowl of fruit was placed in front of her. Casey brought out the yogurt and vanilla and set them down on the table. "You want to know something?"

"What?"

She stabbed a flower-shaped piece of cantaloupe into her mouth and smiled. "You're the first person I've ever dated who hasn't tried to force me to eat anything. Encouraged, yes, but you haven't pushed it. Every person I have ever dated has pushed me as hard as they could to get me to eat."

"And every person I've ever dated has pushed me to have sex almost immediately after we met. I've never known that approach to work very well."

* * *

"Hey guys, come on in," Olivia said, opening the door and ushering Alex and Casey inside. "We've got Apples to Apples, Cranium, Monopoly, and Clue."

"Clue?" Alex asked. "Seriously? You do realize how very _un_realistic that game is, right?"

"Of course I do. That's what makes it fun."

Alex shook her head as she and Casey made their way into the living room, Casey setting the pasta salad they brought on the table in the dining room on the way. "So what do you and El want to play first?"

Elliot poked his head out from the kitchen. "My vote's for Apples to Apples."

"What are you cooking in there? And since when do you actually cook?"

"Very funny, Cabot. I'm just baking a little macaroni and cheese."

Casey and Alex sat down on the recliner, Alex first and Casey sitting in front of her. Olivia smiled and walked into the kitchen, nudging Elliot as he placed the macaroni and cheese on a towel on the counter. "You seeing what I'm seeing?"

He looked out at the two women sitting on the recliner. "You mean Cabot with her arms wrapped around Novak?"

"Look how relaxed Casey is though."

Elliot kept his face towards Olivia, but let his eyes drift over towards the living room. She was right. Casey did look very comfortable in Alex's arms. "Well I never thought I'd live to see her like that."

"It's good to see."

He grabbed the macaroni and cheese and headed out towards the living room. "Yes it is."

Casey sat up and smiled, holding onto Alex's hand as she did so. "That smells amazing."

"Yes it does," Alex said eagerly. "And I hope you cooked enough. Baked macaroni and cheese is my weakness."

Elliot laughed as he pulled out the Apples to Apples box and set it on the coffee table in front of them. "Okay you two, one of you is going to have to get up. We can't have you looking at each other's cards."

Casey rolled her eyes and sat down on the floor. "This better?"

"Much."

They passed around plates and served themselves macaroni and cheese, then sat down to begin a game of Apples to Apples. Everyone sorted through their red cards as Elliot placed a green card face up on the table. "I'll judge first. Lay 'em down." The card was "Cute and Cuddly," and he waited patiently while everyone laid their cards down. "Okay, we've got 'A Mummy,' 'Arnold Schwarzenegger,' and 'King Henry the VIII.' Seriously, guys?"

Casey laughed. "Oh just pick one."

He sighed and looked at the cards in his hands. "Fine, I guess I'll go with the mummy one."

Alex scoffed. "Oh come on, you know Henry the VII had to have been cute and cuddly. He had all those wives!"

"Yeah, that or he was just a vicious bastard."

"True, but a cute and cuddly vicious bastard."

"Sorry, Cabot. Mummy still wins."

"Thank you very much," Olivia said, picking up the card and placing it in front of her. She flipped over a green card and read it out loud. "Awkward. Okay. Show me what you got." She picked up the red cards in front of her, but didn't read them aloud. "Okay, 'My Sex Life' wins."

Casey quickly grabbed the card and grinned. "I knew that card would come in handy." She looked around at everyone's shocked expressions and shrugged. "What? It's true. I only speak the truth."

"I think I need a 'This Moment' card to lay down," Alex said jokingly after several seconds had passed. She laughed shook her head as Casey smacked her leg. "Okay, well it's your turn to pick a green card, Case. Go for it."

* * *

Several hours had passed since the beginning of their Apples to Apples game. They'd started a game of Monopoly, but after getting nowhere fast, they gave it up and started a game of Clue. Alex rolled the dice and smiled when she realized she had enough to land in the conservatory. "Okay. I'm making an accusation. Ms. Scarlet, in the conservatory, with the lead pipe." She reached for the pouch, pulled the cards out, and frowned. "What the hell? Nobody could prove me wrong when I guessed Ms. Scarlet. Why isn't she in here?"

Elliot and Olivia shrugged, showing Alex their cards and proving they didn't have her. She frowned and looked at Casey. "I asked you twice if you had Scarlet, and the other two things I had in my hand. You said you didn't have her each time."

Casey pulled the card out of her hand. "What? _I'm_ Scarlet. I'm a suspect. Since when to suspects ever tell the truth? It wouldn't be very realistic of me to just present myself to you if I was a suspect."

"By showing yourself you would have proven you weren't guilty. That's what suspects who are innocent are supposed to do. Whatever happened to politely cooperating?"

"Eh, that usually gets people into trouble, even if they are innocent."

"That's cheating."

"Yes, and suspects usually cheat."

Olivia stood up and began putting the game away. "Okay, you two. Finish your bickering elsewhere. I'm exhausted and would very much like to go to bed now."

Alex stood up and pulled Casey up off the floor. "Well if you don't mind, I'm going to take my girlfriend outside and knock some sense into her. Cheating at Clue is very not okay in my book."

Casey wrapped an arm around her and led her towards the door. "And after that I'll explain to her how suspects behave in the real world, because she seems to have forgotten about that in her time away from the courtroom."

"Out!" Olivia yelled as she opened the door for them. "And come back soon so we can do this game night again."

* * *

Alex and Casey ended up at Alex's house that night. Their conversation in the car as they left Elliot and Olivia's had nearly caused Alex to pull off the road to compose herself.

"You're more than welcome to stay at my place, but it'll probably be the couch again. I haven't gotten around to furnishing the guest bedroom yet. Or we could go back to your place. That bed was damn comfortable last night."

Casey bit her lower lip and looked straight ahead as she turned towards Alex's house. "Your place sounds nice. It'll be good to have a change of pace. And, uh...maybe I won't sleep on the couch this time."

Alex opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again and waited a minute to gather her thoughts. "Okay, last night you told me a bit about your past. Earlier today you said your sex life was awkward. Now you're telling me you want to sleep in the same bed tonight?"

"I know. I just...when we were at Liv and Elliot's, before we started playing games or anything, we were sitting on the couch and your arms were wrapped around me. I have to admit that was really, really nice."

"I liked it, too, but –"

Casey swallowed and took a deep breath as she pulled into Alex's driveway. "I'm not ready for anything more than what we've already done. I will be, I know that, but I need to do things at my own pace. This is the next step, and I'm ready to take it."

"Okay," Alex said softly. They got out of the car and went inside. She gave Casey a pair of pajamas to wear and they slowly climbed into bed. She frowned when she realized how tense Casey was. "You're shaking. Why don't you take the bed? I'll –"

"No," Casey said quickly. She held her breath for a few seconds and then turned so she was facing Alex. "I just needed a minute for my emotional brain to catch up with my rational one. Bet you wish I was more normal, huh?"

Alex reached over and took Casey's hand in hers. "I like you just the way you are: funny, sarcastic, tough as hell in the courtroom but kind and compassionate when you leave it, and drop dead fucking gorgeous. I'll take you the way you are, thank you very much."

Casey cocked her head and offered a small smile. "Baggage and all?"

"I've got my own baggage. Everyone does. You take me and mine, I take you and yours."

"Come here," Casey said, wrapping her arms around Alex and pulling her close. She kissed her gently and rested her forehead against Alex's. "I have an idea I'd like to run by you, if that's okay."

"What is it?"

"Grace wants me to come visit for Christmas, and she really wants to meet you. The whole family does."

"You want me to come with you?"

Casey nodded. "I would love for you to come with me. I really want you to meet my family."

"I'd love to be able to say the same thing to you, but my mother's my only family and you've already met her, unfortunately."

"Yeah, well, I can guarantee my whole family is going to love you. Just you wait, you'll be part of my crazy family in no time."

Alex smiled as they wrapped their arms around each other and closed their eyes. "I think I'd like that. A family sounds really, really nice."


	19. Chapter 19

**Well, I'm back. It's been nine months, but I finally decided to work on this story again. My excuse? My darn muse ran away. And by ran away, I mean he really left. Pretty sure he's in Nepal or something. But his little sister stopped by earlier this week and gave me some inspiration. So here we go.**

* * *

Alex needed to finish packing. Casey was going to be there in three hours and she barely had anything in her suitcase. "I just...I don't know what to bring!"

"Just bring whatever you would normally bring for a week-long stay somewhere," Olivia said, laughing as Alex continued to throw more clothes out of her closet. You're staying in Pittsburgh with Grace, right?"

"Yeah." She rummaged through the deepest corner of her closet, hoping to find something. "Her parents live ten minutes away, and Casey said it would be easier to stay at Grace's because of Cassie. And they have a spare bedroom."

Olivia stood up from the bed and caught the blue sweater that Alex had just tossed over her shoulder. "Sweetie, your closet is bigger than many studios in this city and it's overflowing with clothes. What's going on?"

_Why do you always have to read me so well_ she thought with a sigh as she turned around to face her best friend. "She's introducing me to her family, Liv."

"So? You've been dating almost five months. This is the next logical step."

"I just hope they like me."

"Alex, how could they not?"

Alex laughed and tossed a few pairs of pants into her suitcase. "I just...I really hope they're okay with Casey and I. I want to impress them and convince them that I..." she trailed off and looked back to her closet.

"That you love her," Olivia finished softly. She waited several seconds for Alex to respond, but she didn't. "Do you love her?

Alex ran her fingers through her hair and looked out the window. "Yeah, Liv. I really think I do."

"Have you told her?"

She shook her head. "No. I feel like it's way too early. I don't want to move too quickly and scare her off. We're taking things slowly and I couldn't be happier to do it that way. Besides, it makes everything more...special."

"Have the two of you-"

"No!" Alex exclaimed, playfully pushing Olivia away and returning to her closet. "She's nowhere near ready for that yet. We've only slept together – and by that I mean actually slept and nothing more – a couple of times. We've shared a bed once."

Olivia nodded. "How are you with that?"

Alex smiled sadly. "I'm just happy being with her. I know people keep telling her that I'm safe, and I am, but I just...she makes me feel safe too. I would never do anything to hurt her." She shrugged as she met Olivia's eyes. "I have a feeling we might be sharing a bed this week, which worries me a bit. I hope she's okay with that."

"I'm sure she would have made arrangements if she wasn't." Olivia walked over and placed her hand on Alex's back. "But if it turns out she's not okay with it?"

"I'm bringing a sleeping bag and a pillow. I'll sleep wherever she feels comfortable with me sleeping."

Olivia shook her head. She'd always known that Alex was a different kind of special, but this was above and beyond what she knew Casey was used to. "You have no idea how lucky she is, Alex."

"If I can be half as good to her as she is to me, I'll be happy."

They were interrupted by a loud knock at the front door and the sound of someone entering the house. "I don't care how nice this neighborhood is, Alex," Casey yelled up the stairs. "You still need to lock your front door!" She walked into Alex's bedroom and her jaw nearly hit the floor. Clothes were strewn about everywhere and her suitcase was still half empty. "You're still packing? What's with all these clothes all over the place? Just put them in your suitcase and be done with it."

"None of them are good enough," Alex said, walking back into the closet to search for more clothing.

Casey gave Olivia a confused look and Olivia cocked her head towards the closet, encouraging her to go talk to Alex. She set her purse down on the bed and walked in, placing a gentle hand on Alex's shoulder. "Talk to me."

"I want them to like me," Alex said, not turning around.

_She's nervous,_ Casey thought with a small smile. "Alex, they're going to love you. Now, let's get you packed. I promise that they are going to adore you. Expect lots of hugs."

Alex laughed and turned around. "You're wearing the shirt I got you."

"I love this shirt."

"It's very comfortable. I have one just like it."

"That's not why I love it."

"Oh? Why do you love it?

Casey smiled and took Alex's hands in hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Because you gave it to me."

Alex leaned in and kissed her gently. "So, lots of hugs?"

"My family is big on the hugging. You okay with that?"

"Absolutely."

"Good."

"Are the two of you going to come out of that closet anytime soon?" Olivia yelled. "I would really like to make it home in time to have dinner with my husband."

Alex laughed. "I'm coming out of the closet now, Liv. Casey's coming with me."

Every laughed as they came out with several articles of clothing. In a matter of fifteen minutes, Casey managed to get Alex packed, assuring her the entire time that the clothes she was bringing were just fine. "What's with the sleeping bag?" she asked as Alex tossed the final item into the trunk.

Alex hesitated. "Well, uh, you said we were sharing a bedroom and I wasn't sure what the sleeping situation would be like. We've only shared a bed once before, so I just wanted to make sure you felt..."

"Safe," Casey whispered.

"Yeah."

Casey took a deep breath. "Do you want to share a bed with me?"

"Yes, I do. But only if you want to."

"What about you? Why are you making this all about me?"

"Because when it comes to the bedroom, Casey, it _is_ all about you. I would die before I hurt you like that. Right now, and for as long as you need, _you_ control what happens in that room."

Casey had to fight back the tears. "Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'd like to share a bed with you. I already know I slept really well with you the one night we did it. I'm not ready for anything else yet. But sleeping next to you sounds really, really nice right now."

* * *

"Think they're going to have a good time?" Elliot asked as he sat down to dinner with Olivia.

"I do. Casey's family is...intense."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've only met them once, when they came up to help her get settled in. They're very welcoming. They're going to welcome Alex in with open arms. She's not going to know what hit her."

"Good."

"Agreed. Alex hasn't really ever had a family. This is going to be good for her."

Elliot nodded and took a bite of salad. "Considering the one that raised her, do you think she'll be receptive. I know how hard it was for you when we first started dating. I know if I was raised by the kind of people that raised the two of you, I'd be hesitant to enter into a family."

Olivia hesitated for a moment. "She was nervous this morning, had a lot of trouble deciding what to pack."

"Given the amount of clothing she has, I'm not really surprised."

"She was worried about how they'd like her."

"Ah."

"None of this leaves this room, El."

"Relax, Liv. Cabot's a good friend. I only want what's best for her. Besides, she'd have my head if she knew we were talking about her like this. Yours too, you know."

"Which is why we keep this conversation between us."

He reached over and grabbed her hand. "You're the reason they're together, you know that, right? They're lucky to have you."

"They're my two best friends I'm lucky to have them. I'd do anything for them."

"Wait they're your two best friends? What am I, chopped liver?"

Olivia laughed. "You're my husband, my other half. You're my third best friend."

"Third? I come in third?" he asked with a smile.

"Elliot, I don't rank you guys in order. I have three of the best friends a woman could ask for. I'm not about to put one over another, and don't you dare think about asking me to."

"I would never dream of it." If it were anyone other than Olivia, he may have been jealous that his wife refused to choose him over her two best friends. But she would always be loyal to him, he was sure of that. It certainly helped that her two best friends were also two of his best friends, but the reality was that Olivia was just that kind of person. Loyal to everyone she trusted, which wasn't very many people. He smiled as he watched her eat dinner. He felt very lucky to be one of those few.


	20. Chapter 20

"So do you really think they're going to like me?" Alex asked.

Casey took her eyes off the road momentarily and smiled. "They're going to adore you."

"Do they know about me? That I'm..."

Casey turned into the parking lot of a grocery store and parked. "I've been out since I was twenty-two. I told them I was bisexual and really only dated men. You're the second woman I've dated. I've told them about you and they cannot wait to meet you."

Alex nodded and looked around, frowning when she realized they were at a grocery store. "What are we doing here? I doubt Grace lives next to the apples."

Casey took a slow, deep breath and stared straight ahead, pausing for several seconds. "My family is a bunch of really big eaters."

"Okay?"

"Huge burgers, hotdogs, pasta out the wazoo. They really love their food."

"Casey, just tell me. Where are you going with this?"

"We have almost no fruits or vegetables, no low-fat anything-"

"Casey!"

Casey inhaled sharply and looked over at Alex. "I just wanted to make sure there was something in the house you could eat. I know you're okay most of the time. I also know that for some reason my fruit salads have a way of getting you to eat. So I wanted to pick out some of your favorite fruits, and anything else you might like."

"Wow," Alex whispered.

"You okay?"

"Beyond okay. I'm...Casey, you..."

"So I'm not being overbearing or pushing or-"

"Come here," Alex said, leaning over and kissing her. She gently traced Casey's cheekbone with her thumb and Casey intensified the kiss. After a few moments, she pulled away and leaned her forehead against Casey's. "I like yogurt," she whispered.

"Huh?"

"Besides your amazing fruit salads, I like yogurt."

* * *

"You must be Alexandra. It is so good to finally meet you."

Alex was barely out of the car when she was pulled into a hug. She laughed and awkwardly returned it. "It's uh, nice to meet you, too."

"I'm Corrine, Casey's mother. My daughter has told me quite a bit about you."

"Oh really?" Alex asked nervously. She was trying to prepare herself for the inevitable interrogation. "All good things, I hope."

"Of course."

"Okay, mother, let the woman breathe." Casey walked around to the other side of the car and hugged her. "It's good to see you again, mom."

"You too, sweetie. And I am so glad you finally brought Alexandra with you." She gave her a gentle squeeze and whispered into her ear, 'Is she good to you?"

"She's amazing, mom. Don't you or anyone else go interrogate her. I'll know about it."

"Well, all I can do is promise we won't sit her down and bombard her with questions all at once."

"But you do intend to question her."

"Hey, we're your family, Casey. What kind of people would we be if we didn't?"

Casey took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Fine. Where is everyone?"

"Inside. They're all very eager to meet her."

Casey turned to Alex and took her hand. "You ready to go meet everyone? It's only my mother here, my father, and then Grace, her husband, and their daughter. Not too many people, I promise."

Alex nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Come on. Just be ready for a lot of hugs. And remember that they are going to love you."

the introductions were a bit overwhelming. Casey was right. Everyone wanted to hug her. Even Brian, Grace's husband, was big on the hugging. She was relieved that nobody seemed to care that she and Casey were in a relationship. If anything, they all just seemed happy to see Casey in a relationship at all.

"She's always spoken very highly of you," Grace said as they all sat down in the living room.

Alex smiled as she and Casey sat down on the couch. She held Casey's hand and smiled as their eyes met. "Well she's a pretty special person. I'm lucky to have her in my life."

"Are you gonna be my Aunt Alex?"

Alex looked down as Cassie plopped herself into her lap and grinned up at her.

"Cassidy,' Grace warned.

"No, it's okay," Alex said, holding up her hand and then wrapping her arms around the small child. For some reason that she couldn't explain, Cassie had taken a real liking to her. She looked down at the girl and shrugged. "Your Aunt Casey and I haven't known each other long enough to decide that. But I can be your friend for now if you want."

Corinne laughed. "Cassidy's always been a bit headstrong. She takes after her mother."

"Hey!" Grace yelled. "She's just very imaginative and doesn't care to keep her mouth shut when she has an opinion. It's a quality I'd like her to keep for the time being."

The conversation between everyone lasted several hours. Alex was surprised at how comfortable she felt around everyone. The fact that Casey's arms were wrapped around her helped, and the small child in her lap kept making her laugh. But Casey was right. Her family was a group of really amazing people. They all seemed to want to get to know her better, and they happily answered all of her questions. They were eager to tell her as many positives about Casey as they could.

"She always wanted to take me shopping," Grace said. "She loves her colors. I don't think there's a color on this planet that Casey doesn't own in shirt form. She was determined to convert me."

Casey shook her head. "She's a hopeless cause. Loves her browns and blacks and grays. They're all fine, mind you, but I never could get her to wear any other colors except the occasional pastel."

"She failed miserably. My sister is good at a lot of things, but her fashion sense is something I'd like her to keep to herself. I'll stick to my colors. They look good on me."

"Any color would look good on you."

"That's what you always say."

"Because it's the truth. A bright red would really bring out your eyes."

"I hate to break up this little sisterly argument," Alex said. "But it appears as though Cassie's fallen asleep."

Grace smiled. Her daughter was fast asleep in Alex's lap, the woman's arms wrapped protectively around her. It was a touching moment. "She's really taken to you." She stood up and walked over to the couch. "I can take her to bed if you want."

"Let me," Alex whispered as she stood up and held Cassie close to her. "The less movement the less likely she'll be to wake up. If that's okay, of course."

"Sure, second door on the right down the hall." She smiled and watched as Alex disappeared into the bedroom. Then she turned to Casey and met her sister's eyes. "She's a keeper, Case. Hang on to that one."

'Grace is right," her father said.

"You guys have known her for a couple of hours. How could you possibly come to that conclusion already?"

Grace sat down on the couch next to Casey and took her hand. "She's safe, honey"

"There's no way you can know that after spending a couple of hours with her."

"She looks me in the eyes when she talks to me. She has kind eyes. And a beautiful smile that will make anyone who sees it happy. Casey, I don't know. I just have a really good feeling about her."

Casey looked towards Cassie's bedroom and sighed. "So do I, Grace. So do I."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: There's a scene at the end with Elliot and Olivia talking to a rape victim and she describes her ordeal. So if you can't or don't want to read that, please skip it.**

* * *

Olivia was looking through the stack of files she'd taken home with her when Elliot walked in. He and Fin had been sent to pick up a rape suspect. "Hey, how did it go?"

He shrugged and hung up his jacket. "We found her. She denied everything. Lawyered up as soon as Fin told her that her ex girlfriend identified her."

"Rebecca Jameson sodomized and raped five women with every foreign object known to man. Broom handles, soda bottles, curling irons. You name it, she used it. She tied her victims up and she tortured them."

"And she claimed it was consensual."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"All of her victims were into bondage. They all liked handcuffs and whips."

"That doesn't mean they weren't raped, Elliot!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"Just that Casey's going to have a hell of a hard time prosecuting this one." He sat down at the table and closed the file in her hands. To his relief, she didn't fight him. "Come on, let's go to bed. We'll work on this in the morning."

She sighed and rubbed her temples. "Fine."

He wrapped his arm around her and led her to the bedroom. This case was taking a lot out of her and he wanted to make sure she got as much sleep as she could. "I love you," he whispered.

She felt her anger dissipating. He always managed to make her feel better. "I love you, too," she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

* * *

"That was a delicious dinner," Alex said as she and Casey climbed into bed. She laid her head on the pillow and sighed. "It was more food than I can ever remember eating."

"My family tends to go all out when it comes to Christmas dinner." She laid down next to Alex and brushed the hair out of her face.

"They did a great job. Any reason they wouldn't let me help them cook it?"

"Because you're the guest."

Alex looked down at her fingers and smiled when Casey held both of her hands. She took several deep breaths and bit her lower lip. "It was a lot of food."

"I know," Casey whispered. She traced Alex's knuckles with her thumbs and gave her hands a gentle squeeze. "I'm really glad you ate it though. Did you enjoy it?"

"Yeah. It was really good."

"Come here,' Casey said softly. She pulled Alex close and smiled when Alex rested her head on her chest. She slowly combed her fingers through Alex's hair. The woman was so tense. "You're beautiful."

"So you keep telling me."

"Because it's the truth."

Alex looked up and smiled. "You're too good to me. How did I get so lucky?"

"Nonsense." She traced Alex's cheekbone and gave her a gentle kiss. "I want to do whatever I can to make you comfortable with eating. Besides," she said with a small smile. "You're really sexy when you eat."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "You find me stuffing my face with turkey and mashed potatoes sexy?"

"Considering what your mother put you through, I find you enjoying food and allowing yourself to eat until you're full incredibly sexy."

XXXXXXXXXX

"All of the women she supposedly assaulted were members of Hannah's," Elliot said as soon as Olivia walked into the squad room the following morning. He'd come in earlier to work on some paperwork because she'd wanted to come in by herself. She was still upset about the night before.

"Belonging to a sex club is not a crime, Elliot."

"I never said it was."

Olivia rolled her eyes and slung her coat over her chair. "So what was the point of the comment?"

"Come on, Olivia. It's a bondage club. Those women got off on being tied up. They liked to be whipped."

"That was consensual. Elliot, what is this?"

"Rebecca Jameson had multiple sexual encounters with all of these women. We've got a dozen eyewitnesses who have seen her with each of our supposed victims and they all had a good time."

"At the club, Elliot!" Olivia screamed. She couldn't believe this was happening. "Enjoying those things at a club does not mean these women wanted it at home! They were all left handcuffed to their beds. Rebecca just left them there."

Elliot stood up and stormed out of the squad room. He hated when they fought. He hated even more that he was letting his anger get the best of him. What he hated worst of all, however, was that she was right. He didn't understand why those women got off on pain, and he'd used that lack of understanding to try to justify what happened to those women. It was wrong and he knew it. Now he just had to make it right.

"What the hell was that, Elliot?" Olivia yelled as she stormed into the crib.

"Nothing."

"It better not be nothing. Those women are coming in today to give us their statements. You're not going anywhere near them until you can give me some answers."

He sighed and turned away from her. The truth was he had no explanation. "I don't know. I just...what's so appealing about being tied up and whipped?"

"It's not my thing either, but it's not our place to judge. And it doesn't mean that they weren't assaulted, nor does it mean that they deserved to be."

"I know."

Olivia walked over to him and looked him in the eyes. "Then what just happened in that squad room?"

"Casey is going to have a difficult time winning this case after their history is brought up."

"Your point? We've had difficult cases before."

"A female attacker in a sexual crime isn't what juries are used to."

"Elliot, stop. Talk to me. What is going on?"

He took a deep breath and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Liv. I just...with their history, and the fact that they all let Rebecca into their homes, it's just not going to be easy."

"They were assaulted, El. Their injuries were severe and they were left handcuffed to their beds. We've actually got a pretty easy case. Just because you don't understand what gets them off doesn't give you the right to act like this."

"You're right," he said with a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Just promise me that when these women get here to give their statements, you'll sit there and listen to them and respect them."

"I promise. I'm sorry, Liv."

"Good. You should be."

* * *

"You have one hell of a girlfriend," Grace said. She and Casey stepped out onto the porch and smiled as they watched Alex chase Cassie around the backyard.

"She's really good with Cassie."

They watched Alex and Cassie for several minutes. Cassie was yelling that Alex would never catch her, and Alex was pretending to get too tired to catch her. Alex finally took a shortcut through the swing set and caught Cassie, picking her up and twirling her around.

"How is she with you?" Grace asked.

Casey smiled as she watched Alex allow Cassie to tackle her to the ground. "I've never met anyone like her."

"You two sleeping together?"

"Grace!" Casey hissed. She looked down at the mug of hot chocolate in her hands and ran her fingers around the rim. "We've kissed, and we've held each other in bed. I, uh, I haven't been ready for anything else yet."

"And?"

Casey looked out at Alex and fought the tears that were threatening to fall. "She's never once pressured me."

"Good. You know I'll kick her ass if she ever does."

"She won't." She walked out to the swing set and pulled her niece off of Alex. "Hey, kiddo. It's freezing out here. What do you say we go inside and have some hot chocolate?"

'Yeah! Come on, Aunt Alex! Do you want some hot chocolate too?"

Alex tried not to let it show that she was taken off guard when Cassie called her Aunt Alex. "I'd love some. Help me up, would ya?"

Cassie grinned and pulled Alex's hands. As soon as Alex was standing, Cassie jumped into her arms and laughed when Alex slung her over her shoulders. "I love you, Aunt Alex," she whispered as she was carried into the house.

* * *

"She showed up at my house Thursday night," Erin Stanton said. "I let her in. We always got along really well at the club. I'd invited her over before but she always declined. When she showed up at my place, I just figured she was taking me up on my offer."

"Take your time," Elliot said softly. "It's okay."

Olivia was relieved that Elliot had calmed down and was doing a good job with the women. Erin was the final women they would speak to. "You just tell us what happened," she said. "Take your time."

Erin nodded and focused on the Coke can in front of her. "She, um, we went to my room and she handcuffed me to my bed. It was okay at first, you know? I mean, it's what we always did. But then she grabbed my hairbrush and shoved it into me. When I cried out she smacked me and shoved my underwear into my mouth. That's when I panicked and tried to fight."

Olivia reached over and held Erin's hand. "You're doing great, Erin. You can do this."

"I don't even know what all she used. Hair brush, soda bottle, curling iron. I stopped paying attention and tried to just pretend like it wasn't happening. I was on my stomach and handcuffed to my bed, so I couldn't really see her anyway. I just gave up and let her do whatever she wanted. Pathetic."

"Hey, you survived," Elliot said firmly. "That's not pathetic."

"I'll have to see her at trial, won't I?"

"Yeah, but she won't be able to hurt you."

"I know. I just...I let her into my house and I let her handcuff me to the bed."

"But you didn't ask her to assault you. We'll get her, Erin. We'll make sure she never hurts anyone ever again."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: This chapter's a bit longer than previous ones. Couldn't think of another way to break it up. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

She felt movement next to her and slowly opened her eyes. A small line of moonlight fell across Casey's face and Alex frowned. Casey's head was jerking from side to side and she was mumbling "no" over and over. "Hey," Alex whispered. "Casey, wake up. Wake up, sweetheart." She gently shook Casey's shoulders. "You're safe, honey. Just open your eyes."

"No! Please don't!"

Alex ignored the tears that were forming in her eyes and tried to focus on Casey. She'd never seen her have a nightmare before. It was terrifying. She had no idea what to do. "Casey, you're safe at Grace's house. Come on, honey. You've gotta wake up. Try to relax and take a few deep breaths."

At Alex's words, Casey's eyes flew open and a look of absolute terror came over her face. "Get away from me!" she screamed as she jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Alex chased after her but stopped in the doorway when Casey screamed. Casey was terrified of her.

Alex ran to Grace's room and pounded on the door. "She had a nightmare and now she's afraid of me!" she said as soon as Grace stepped out of the bedroom. "Grace, she's scared of me."

"Okay, honey, come here." Grace led her over to the couch and they sat down. She gently rubbed Alex's back and tried to calm her down. "Talk to me, Alex."

Alex pushed the hair out of her face and closed her eyes. "She was mumbling and shaking. I tried to wake her up and all of a sudden she bolted to the bathroom. She...she's so scared. She screamed as soon as I reached the bathroom."

"Okay," Grace said softly. This didn't sound like one of Casey's usual nightmares. Something about this one was different. "Tell me what happened. What did you say?"

"She was having trouble breathing for a minute. I rubbed her back and assured her she weas safe. I told her to try to relax and take a few deep breaths."

Grace let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. "You told her to relax?"

"She was starting to hyperventilate. I was just trying to help."

"That was, um, that was what he always said right before he...raped her. He climbed on top of her, looked her in the eyes, and told her to relax. Then he raped her."

"Oh, God." Alex put her hand over her mouth. She couldn't breathe. The room was starting to spin and she nearly fell over. She felt Grace's hand on her shoulder, holding her up. "I – I – I didn't know. Grace, I swear I didn't know."

Grace nodded and wrapped her arm around Alex's shoulders. She held her breath when she felt Alex lean over and rest her head on her shoulder. It was then that she realized she was only wearing a tank top. _Oh, God. Her head's on my bare shoulder. Her face is touching my scars. She's – oh, shut up, Grace!_ "I'll go talk to her, okay?"

"I didn't mean to."

"I know, sweetie."

Alex sat up and felt Grace give her shoulders a final squeeze. "Did I just ruin this?"

"You didn't ruin anything, Alex."

"I saw how much I scared her. That look in her eyes...I did that to her."

"No, Alex. Our uncle and his friend did that to her. You're helping her. Now I'm going to go in and talk to her, and then I'm going to come out here and talk to you again, okay?"

"Okay," Alex said weakly. "Thanks, Grace."

* * *

Grace inhaled sharply and held her breath when she reached the bathroom. Casey was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest. "Hey, sweetie" she said, kneeling down in the doorway and smiling softly. "Is it okay if I come in?"

"Yeah."

She slowly walked over and sat down next to Casey. "You okay?"

"I've been better."

"Yeah, I bet."

"Alex woke you up?"

Grace pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Yeah, she did."

"I really freaked her out."

"She's just worried about you."

Casey rested her chin on her arms and shook her head. She couldn't believe Alex had seen her have a nightmare. Alex had seen her at her absolute weakest. And here Grace was, telling her Alex was worried about her. "She's so good to me. I thought I'd be able to get through tonight without...help."

"You're taking sleeping pills again? Casey-"

"No," Casey said firmly. "We've only spent a few nights together. I only used them then."

"Casey, are you forgetting what happened in college? How addicted you got to those pills?"

"I know," Casey said, taking a deep breath. "I'm not hooked again. I was just worried about spending all week with her and I got scared. I realized how dependent I was getting and threw them out after dinner. I didn't use tonight. They, uh...they're the only guarantee I won't have a nightmare. I know I can't use them because I'll get hooked again. I just...now she's seen me have a nightmare."

"And she wants to do whatever she can to help."

Casey shook her head. "I didn't want her to see me like that, Grace. I thought I'd be okay for one night. Now I've scared away the only person I've ever really trusted."

"You haven't scared her away."

"How can you possibly know that?"

Grace leaned over and rested her forehead against Casey's. "Because after she woke me up the two of us talked for a few minutes. She's worried she scared you off."

Casey sighed. She knew why Alex was worried. "I never told her about that word. I'm okay with it, usually. I can use it any time of day. It's just after a nightmare or a flashback that..."

"I know, sweetie." Grace smiled sadly and kissed her sister's forehead. "She's out in the living room right now. Do you need some space for tonight or do you want me to send her in?"

"Send her in, Grace."

"Okay." Grace stood up and gently squeezed Casey's hands. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Grace smiled sadly when she walked into the living room and found Alex pacing back and forth. "You know you're going to wear a hole in the carpet if you keep walking across it like that, right?"

"I'll replace it," Alex said absentmindedly, then stopped pacing a few seconds later. "Is she okay?"

"She will be, just as soon as you go in there and talk to her."

* * *

Alex slowly opened the bedroom door and forced a smile when she saw Casey sitting on the bed. She took a deep breath and sat down next to her. "Hey. How are you doing?" She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. "I'm sorry, that was a stupid question."

Casey laughed. "A little better now."

"Yeah?"

She leaned over and rested her head on Alex's shoulder. "Yeah."

Alex rubbed Casey's back and tried not to cry. "I'm right here, okay? And I'm not going anywhere."

Casey couldn't stifle the yawn as she pulled away from Alex and stressed. "I'm so tired."

"I know. Do you need the bed to yourself tonight or do you want me to stay?" When Casey just looked away, Alex rubbed her back gently. "You can have the bed if you want. It's okay, I promise."

"Do you think you could just stay until I fall asleep?"

"Of course." Alex waited until Casey was lying down and then pulled the blankets over her. She gently combed her fingers through her hair until she was sure Casey was asleep. When she was sure Casey was okay, she grabbed a blanket and pillow out of the closet, deciding that would be easier than grabbing her sleeping bag from the car, and made her way out to the living room sofa.

* * *

The rattling noise was what woke her up. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Cassie dumping her legos onto the coffee table. She laughed and sat slowly sat up. "Any idea what time it is?"

"I can see the sun so mommy says it's okay to be up."

"And why aren't you playing legos with your mother?"

Cassie hopped up onto the couch and crawled into Alex's lap. "Did you sleep out here all night?"

"Almost."

"How come? Did you and Aunt Casey have a fight?"

Alex smiled as she helped Cassie put a few legos together. "Nope. I snore really loudly," she lied, deciding it was the easiest explanation for the three-year-old to understand. "I kept waking your Aunt Casey up so I decided to sleep out here so she could sleep tonight."

"Cassidy, it's six-thirty," Grace said from the hallway. "Did you really have to wake Alex up this early?"

"Mom, I can see the sun!"

Grace rolled her eyes and made her way to the kitchen. "I know when I'm fighting a losing battle. Want some coffee, Alex?"

"I would love some, thanks." She moved Cassie onto the cushion next to her and handed her a few legos. "I'm going to go out to the kitchen to talk to talk to your mom and help her with the coffee. I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay."

Alex stood up and walked into the kitchen. "Thanks for last night, Grace."

Grace filled two cups of coffee and handed one to Alex. "She's my big sister. You never have to thank me for something like that. Besides, you're the one who should be thanked."

"Me? Why me? You're the one who helped her last night."

"And she wanted you back in that room afterwards. I'm pretty sure you're the only person that's happened to. I don't think she's ever wanted someone with her after they witnessed one of her nightmares." She took a sip of coffee and shook her head. "So thank you, Alex, for making my sister feel safe."

Alex took a sip of her coffee and stared at the bedroom where Casey was sleeping. "My mother started weighing me when I was six. Whenever I was over her limit, she starved me. Hit me a few times, too. It lasted until I was eighteen. I checked myself into a clinic and I'm doing pretty okay now. But I have my demons too. I do what I can to make her feel safe. Your sister has always made me feel safe."

"She has that effect on people." Grace walked over and stood next to Alex. "So do you. Last night, after our conversation and everything..." she drifted off and looked down to the floor. "I didn't even realize I was only wearing a tank top until you rested your head on my shoulder. I figured you hadn't noticed because the situation was so tense."

"You figured I didn't notice? Why is that?"

Grace rolled her eyes and shook her head as she walked to the sink and rinsed out her cup. "Come on, Alex. You laid your head on my bare shoulder."

"Ah," Alex said. She walked over and placed her hand on Grace's back. "You think I never would have done that if I hadn't been too upset to notice."

Grace shrugged. "I'm covered in scars. What else am I supposed to think?"

Alex gently turned Grace and smiled warmly when their eyes met. "That I was upset. That you were doing what you could to help. And that I needed a hug, which you offered. I noticed your scars, Grace, but they certainly aren't a reason for me not to hug you. Or for me to rest my head on your shoulder when I need some support."

Grace held the eye contact for several moments after Alex finished talking. "You really honestly mean that, don't you?"

Alex wrapped her arms around Grace and hugged her tight. "You're beautiful, Grace. Anybody ever tells you otherwise, you let me know. I'll kick their ass."

* * *

Casey and Alex brought their bags out of the guest room and into the living room. Casey's parents hugged them first.

"Thank you so much for coming," Corinne said as she hugged her daughter. She smiled and turned to Alex. "And it's been a pleasure meeting you. We'd love for you to come back and visit again."

"Pleasure's all mine," Alex said, returning the hug. "And I would love to come back again. Thank you all for being so welcoming."

"Well you're welcome here any time."

"Yes you certainly are," Casey's father, Steven, said. As he pulled her into a hug, he whispered into her ear. "You take care of my daughter. She's a very special woman."

Alex smiled. "I will, and yes she is."

"Will you come back and visit me, Aunt Alex?" Cassie asked as she jumped into Alex's arms.

Alex looked up at Casey and smiled when she nodded. "You bet."

"Yay!"

"You'd better come back and visit," Grace said, pulling Alex into a hug. "And just know that if you ever hurt her I'll find out about it and you will be very, very sorry."

Casey laughed and pulled Grace off of Alex. "You hurt her and I'll hurt you."

Grace hugged her and smiled. "I'll only hurt her if she hurts you."

Nobody's hurting anybody," Alex said, hugging both of them. "We're all good here."

The three women brought the bags out to Casey's car and loaded it up, then hugged for a final time. Grace pulled out of the hug with Alex and gave her shoulders a firm squeeze. "Mind if I talk to my sister in private for a moment?"

"Just make sure you let her come home today. She has to be in court tomorrow."

"I promise."

Casey followed Grace over to the tire swing fifteen feet from the car. "What's up?"

"Don't lose her."

"What?"

"She fits with us, Casey. You feel the same way, I can see it. She obviously cares about you very much and I can tell you care about her too. Mom and dad love her. Brian was very impressed with her beer bottle stacking abilities. And Cassie's already calling her Aunt Alex."

"What about you?"

Grace glanced over at Alex, who was leaning against the car with her back to them, giving them their desired privacy. "She woke me up last night after your nightmare. We talked for a few minutes. She was really upset and I wrapped my arm around her."

"And?"

"She leaned her head on my shoulder."

"Okay. Where are you going with this, Grace?"

"I was only wearing a tank top."

"Oh." Casey gently nudged her and smiled. "She wasn't bothered by your scars."

Grace wiped away a single tear and looked towards the blond woman. "I know. She hugged me this morning and told me I was beautiful."

"She's right, Grace."

"She's a keeper. I just want you to hold onto her, Casey. Hold on tight and never let her go."


	23. Chapter 23

They held hands nearly the entire drive home. Casey was so happy that her family had loved Alex so much. There had never been any doubt in her mind, but it was still nice to see it happen. "Did you have fun this week?"

Alex smiled. "I did. You have a great family."

"I do. I got lucky. Don't get me wrong I miss my biological parents. I was nine when they died, so I have a lot of memories of them." She sighed and focused on the road in front of her. "But I love the family I have now. And they are absolutely, one hundred percent my family."

"They absolutely are," Alex said firmly. "The love that you all have for one another is real and it's a beautiful thing to see. Love is what makes a family Case. They _are _your family. It's clear to anyone who sees them."

"I've actually had people get freaked out about the fact that I'm adopted."

Alex scoffed. "People get freaked out over the weirdest shit."

"Well I'm just glad you're okay with it."

Alex gave Casey's hand a gentle squeeze. "Casey, you have an amazing family. Be happy about that and tell them you love them as often as you can. Not many people are as lucky as you."

They drove in comfortable silence for several hours. Casey was happy that she'd finally found someone special enough to bring home and Alex was relieved that she'd been so quickly accepted. It had been a great week for both of them and they were sad to see it end.

When they arrived in Manhattan, Casey claimed emotional and physical exhaustion and asked Alex if it was okay if she could sleep at home alone that night.

"It's not a problem, Casey."

"Are you sure? It's just, it was a lot. Seeing them for an entire week took a lot out of me. I need some time alone to process everything. Does that make any sense?"

Alex smiled and brushed a strand of hair behind Casey's ear. "Complete sense."

"Thank you."

"My phone will be on as much as it can. I can't answer it at work, but I will call you back." She pulled her things out of the trunk and gently kissed Casey. "Don't take too long. I'm going to miss you."

Casey laughed. "Just give me a day or two."

* * *

A day or two turned into a full week. Alex tried calling Casey after three days, stopped by her office on the fifth day, and called again on the sixth day. She never got anywhere. "Her family must not approve after all," she muttered as she walked down the street. "That's got to be what happened." She decided she was in need of some retail therapy and was surprised when she turned a corner and ran right into Casey.

"Alex, hey," Casey said, obviously trying to figure out a way to get away as soon as possible.

"How are you?"

"I'm good. Look, I'm late for court. I'm-"

"Casey, are you avoiding me?"

"What? No, Alex I've been busy."

Alex shook her head. No way was Casey getting away this easily. Not without a fight. "Bullshit. I've called you and stopped by your office. Why haven't I heard back from you?"

"I just need some space!"

"Casey-"

"Look, Alex, I have things in my past that I really need to deal with. And I need to deal with them alone."

Alex placed her hand on Casey's shoulder and tried to smile. "Casey, I have demons, too. They're easier to fight when I'm not alone. You make them easier to fight. I want to make yours easier to fight."

"I was chained up in a basement and raped and tortured for a week," Casey yelled. She didn't care if anyone around her heard her. She had to get out of here. Her fight or flight response had just kicked into flight and she desperately needed to get away. "I was tortured, Alex. You were called fat. I'm sorry I can't help you deal with your mommy issues while I'm dealing with my torture ones."

Alex stared wide eyed as Casey walked away. Luckily there was a bench a few feet away because her knees gave out as soon as she reached it. What the hell had just happened? She had seen Casey angry before, usually around difficult cases, but she'd never seen her be cruel. "Family," Alex whispered. It was the only answer she could come up with. Casey's family didn't like her and Casey had chosen them. It was just like her previous experiences. She should be used to it by now. Still, she had thought Casey was different, and she had really thought Casey's family had liked her.

"Alexandra?"

Alex turned around and sighed. "What are you doing here, mother?"

"She left you."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. "Yeah. Come to rub it in my face?"

"Of course not, dear. I've come to invite you home. We can even have dinner tonight."

"What?"

"Your Uncle Jim and Aunt Karen are in town for a few days. Let your family help you now, sweetheart. We'll get you through this."

Alex didn't really want to, but at this point she had no fight left in her. She found herself agreeing and walking away with her mother. She knew it was a bad idea, but she was too numb to care.

* * *

Casey walked into the squad room and quickly made her way over to Olivia's desk. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Hey, Case," Elliot said with a smile. "We've finished interviewing the victims. Think you can get a court date for the Jameson case?"

"As soon as I get it, I'll let you know." She turned to Olivia. "Liv, please? In private."

"Okay." Olivia led her upstairs to the crib and they closed the door behind them. She led Casey over to the bed furthest from the door and they sat down. "Casey, what happened? What's wrong?"

"I messed up. In a really, _really_ big way."

"What do you mean?"

Casey bit her lower lip and looked at the floor. "I've been avoiding Alex for the past week. I just, I panicked. I've never let anyone get this close before. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it if she left me, so I..."

Olivia took Casey's hand. "Casey, what happened?"

"We ran into each other on the street. I wasn't ready. She asked me why I was avoiding her. She said I help her fight her demons and she wanted to help me fight mine. She was just being so...Alex, and I..."

"Casey, what did you do?"

Casey looked away. "I basically told her that my demons were bigger and hers weren't important."

"Casey," Olivia said sternly.

"I know."

Olivia took a deep breath and held it for several seconds. "Her demons are big too," she said through clenched teeth. She couldn't believe what Casey was telling her. She'd never known the woman to be cruel before.

"I have to fix this, Olivia." She looked over at the detective, her eyes pleading. "Is there any way you could get me into her house? I have an idea."

"She gave me a spare key after she bought it. What are you going to do?"

"Whatever I can."

Olivia pulled her into a hug and shook her head. "I hope this works, Casey. I can't believe you did this to her."

"I know. And Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I saw her walk off with her mother. Yesterday morning. You have to get her out of there. Give me a few hours. It's three now, so give me until eight. I should be ready by then."

* * *

Alex was about to storm into the precinct when she felt Olivia's hand on her arm. "Olivia what's going on? Where's the deaf kid you called me to interpret for?"

"She doesn't exist."

"What? Olivia what's going on?"

Olivia looked at Alex and winced when she saw the large bruise forming on the side of her face. 'I should ask you the same thing. Alex, who hit you?"

"My uncle."

"Alex-"

"It was self defense. I attacked first."

"Alex-"

"Look, can we not talk about it right now? Why did you call me over here?"

"Casey asked me to."

"What?"

Olivia led Alex to her car and they got in. She held her friend's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Alex was trying her best not to let her pain show, but Olivia saw through her facade. "She asked me to get you out of your mother's house and take care of you for a few hours. Then I am to take you home."

"Liv, what are you talking about?"

"She wants to apologize. She told me she's going to go all out and needs a few hours to get everything ready. Right now, we're going for manicures and pedicures. Then we're both going for facials."

Alex shook her head. "Olivia, I can't ask you to-"

"This is all her, Alex. This is all her. I'm just following her orders."

"Well it's going to take more than that. She...her words really hurt, Liv."

"I know they did, honey."

Alex stared out the window while Olivia drove to the nail salon. She wanted to forgive Casey, but she was still too upset. A few hours at the salon was not going to magically make the pain Casey's words had caused go away.

* * *

"I'll wait for you out here," Olivia said when they reached Alex's house.

"What do you mean? She's not here?"

"She called me when you were in the bathroom after our facials. I am to wait here until you've made your decision."

"My decision?"

"Go inside, Alex. Take as much time as you need."

Alex hesitated momentarily, not really sure what was going on and more than a little scared to find out. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves, and walked inside. She suddenly couldn't breathe. There were candles everywhere. No lights were on, but there were enough candles that it didn't matter. Just inside the door, hanging on a string tied to a thumb tack in the ceiling, was a sticky note in the shape of a heart. The words "I'm sorry" were written on it.

She looked towards the dining room and saw a place set for her. When she walked over, she noticed strawberries and cantaloupe cut into hearts and flowers. Another heart shaped sticky note was stuck to her fork. "If you feel up to it, eat," it said.

She ate a few bites but couldn't bring herself to eat the entire thing. Not after spending almost thirty-six hours with her mother. She was about to stand up when she noticed something at the bottom of the bowl. It was another heart shaped note. "Go to the couch and sit down."

Alex sat down on the couch and couldn't keep a small smile from forming on her face. There were so many candles and they all smelled so relaxing. Lavender and vanilla. Her favorite scents. Casey remembered. She looked down at the coffee table and cocked her head. Another note, this one on top of a book she didn't recognize. "Open me" it said.

It was a book box and inside was a small porcelain statue of two bears hugging. On the facing page was yet another note with the words, "I miss our hugs..."

"I miss them, too," she whispered.

She picked up the book box to examine it and found another note. "Go upstairs to your room."

At the top of the stairs was another note hanging from the ceiling. Attached to it was a single Hershey's kiss. "I miss our kisses..."

She walked into her bedroom and had to hold onto the door frame to keep from falling over. Flower petals littered the floor and bed. There were candles on the headboard and windowsill. On the bed sat a picture of her and Casey in Central Park. She was giving Casey a piggy back ride and they both had huge smiles on their faces. In front of the picture was a piece of paper folded in half. "...but most of all, I miss you." she opened it and began reading.

_Alex,_

_There are no words that I can say to make up for what I did to you. You didn't do anything wrong and you didn't deserve to be treated that way. I was wrong, and I am so very, very sorry. If you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, come to my place and let me spend the weekend making it up to you. There are so many things I want to say, but not in a note. Your deserve to hear them face to face. If you'll let me, I'd really like to say them to you._

_Always,_

_Casey_

_P.S. Don't worry about cleaning up. I'll take care of that. Just make sure you blow out all the candles. I'd hate to be responsible for burning your house down._

Alex wiped away the tears that were pouring down her face. She blew out all the candles and ran outside. Olivia was still sitting in her car in the same spot. "Take me to her place, Liv," she said as she got into the car. "Go as fast as you can. I have to tell her I love her."


	24. Chapter 24

**I'm thinking maybe two more chapters and then it'll be the end. I've got a bit of an idea for a sequel, but I need to work with my muse for a little while before I start it. Thanks for all your reviews. They mean a lot. :)**

* * *

The knock at her door pulled her away from her thoughts. She took one last look around her apartment to make sure she had cleaned everything up enough. When she was sure it was okay, she took a deep breath and opened the door. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey, Casey," Alex said softly.

"Do you want to come in?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah."

"Are you hungry?"

"I need to know why, Casey."

Casey closed the door behind Alex and sighed. She walked out to the living room and sat down on the couch, inviting Alex to join her. Alex followed her out to the living room and sat down on the loveseat on the other side of the coffee table. _At least she's here,_ Casey thought. _Your stunt in her house must have done something._ She swallowed and tried to make eye contact with Alex, but failed. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I just...I panicked."

"You panicked?" Alex asked incredulously.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath and tried to find the right words to tell Alex what happened, how she was feeling. The right words were always easy in the courtroom, but looking over at Alex in her living room, they just weren't there. She shook her head and decided to just start talking, hoping that something good came out of the conversation. "I've never let anyone get as close to me as I've let you get. When I was in college, I did a lot of things I wish I didn't do, went a lot further with a lot more people than I wanted to. I did things I never want to do again. Then I decided I actually wanted to date instead of just have sex, and even that turned out to only be about what we did in the bedroom. When I first moved here, there was a guy who was really nice and helped me get acclimated to the city and the job. Then he asked me out and I said yes. Dinner was amazing. After dinner though, Trevor Langan was not very happy that he wouldn't be getting laid. That's when I swore off dating all together." She managed a week smile and met Alex's eyes. The woman had the most beautiful, piercing blue eyes. "And then you came along and everything I thought I knew about dating went out the window. You were so different. You had no expectations. You just...seemed to want to spend time with me, no questions asked. I've never had that before, Alex. So, I panicked."

Alex listened to everything Casey had to say. She wanted to make sure Casey was finished before she spoke. It had been hard, listening to what Casey was saying, and she needed to be sure Casey got it all out. She was obviously upset about what she had done, and Alex was happy to see that. She was glad that Casey wanted to make things right. When she saw a few tears fall down Casey's cheeks, she walked over and sat down next to her. "Can I hug you?"

"Are you sure you want to? After what I did..."

"After what you did at my house, I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go."

"So it was okay? You liked it?"

Alex tilted Casey's head up and mt her eyes. "It was by far the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. I never knew you had such a romantic side to you, but Casey that was..." she trailed off and took a deep breath. "You could have stopped at the first note and asked me to come over. I would have. You didn't have to do all that."

"Yes I did," Casey said quietly. She smiled warmly and took Alex's hand. "I had to show you that I...that I-I love you." The words felt so foreign to her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd said them to someone outside her family. And as foreign as they were, she knew she meant them more than anything. "I love you, Alex."

Alex's heart melted. Casey had said the three words she'd been feeling but was too afraid to say. She had been worried it was too soon. Now Casey was saying them. She shook her head with a smile and traced Casey's cheekbone with her thumb. "I love you, too." She looked up and grinned. "Did you really date Trevor Langan?"

"Ugh, don't remind me." Casey leaned in to kiss her but stopped when something caught her eye. She brushed Alex's hair behind her ear and cringed. The bruise was huge. How had she not seen that earlier? "Alex," she said softly, reaching her hand up to Alex's jaw.

"Don't!" Alex yelled, a little louder than she meant to, as she cringed away from Casey's touch and brought her arms up defensively.

"Hey," Casey whispered. "It's okay. It's just me." She waited for Alex to bring her arms down and sit back up before continuing. "What happened? Who hit you, Alex?"

"My uncle. But don't go after him. It was self defense. I attacked first."

"Why? What happened?"

Alex shrugged and looked out the window. "They were all being their usual horrible selves. I was okay with it at first. After thirty years I know how to ignore them. Then my mother mentioned you and my uncle went nuts. He started calling you all sorts of names and saying how disgusting I was for being with someone like you."

"Like me?"

"His exact words were, 'A poor lesbian whore'."

"Oh."

Alex wrapped an arm around Casey and squeezed her gently. "To him anyone with a bank account less than eight figures is poor."

Casey smiled. "So you attacked him because he was talking badly about me."

"I threw my wine glass at him. Ruined his thousand dollar suit, too."

"And that's when he hit you."

"Yeah."

Casey rubbed small, gentle circles along Alex's back and debated asking the question that was weighing on her mind. Alex's reaction to her initial attempt to touch her face had worried her, and she decided it was a question she had to ask. "That wasn't the first time someone hit you, was it?"

"No," Alex said firmly. "My last boyfriend – fiance, actually – was not a very nice man. After about the tenth black eye I finally found the guts to leave him. Should have left him earlier, really. Glad I did though. He would have killed me eventually."

Casey wrapped both arms around Alex and pulled her close. Why did the world have to be so cruel? "I love you," she whispered. She realized just how much she meant those words, and she wanted to say them as often as she could. "Alex, I love you so much."

* * *

Alex woke up the following morning on Casey's couch. There was a pillow under her head and a blanket on top of her. A fresh cup of coffee was on the table in front of her. She couldn't keep the smile off her face. She should be mad. Everybody would understand if she was still angry with Casey. But the anger just wasn't there. Not after what Casey had done for her the day before. She sat up as she heard keys rattling in the door.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Casey said as she walked into the apartment. "I was hoping to get back before you woke up." She held up a white paper bag and smiled. "I brought breakfast."

"What time is it?"

"Almost nine."

"Nine?"

"I figured you needed to sleep. That's why I didn't wake you up. That plus you just looked so damn peaceful." She walked over and sat down on the couch at Alex's feet. She didn't know what to do. Her nerves were wrecked and she had no idea what to do or say.

"What's for breakfast?" Alex asked, hoping to break the tension in the room.

Casey smiled. "Just a couple of bagels."

"Ah."

"Sit up," Casey said, pulling a bagel out of the bag. It was already sliced and covered with cream cheese. She handed one half to Alex and kept the other half for herself. She frowned when Alex held it in her lap, not taking a bite. "We'll eat it together," she said. "You spent nearly thirty-six hours at your mother's house. I know you must be starving. You don't have to eat an entire bagel, but humor me and eat that half I just gave you. There's another one in the bag if you're hungry afterwards."

Alex had to give the woman credit. Eating with Casey was going to be a lot easier than eating with Casey just watching her. And Casey was right. She was starving. "Okay."

"Good," Casey said, taking the first bite. She was relieved when Alex started eating. She didn't want to think about the hell the woman had been through in the last thirty-six hours. At least she was eating. That was a good sign. Today had to be special. Casey wanted to make sure she put a smile on Alex's face. "So, anything special you want to do today?"

"Spend it with you," Alex said simply as she finished her half of the bagel. She reached into the bag and pulled out the second bagel. "Split it with me?"

"I believe spending the day with you can be arranged, and yeah. Hand me half the bagel."

"You want to do anything in particular?"

"Spend it with you," Casey said with a smile.

_We're not going to get very far this way,_ Alex thought. She broke off a piece of bagel and smeared the cream cheese on Casey's face. She was about to do it again when Casey rubbed cream cheese on her nose. In a matter of seconds the women were wearing more cream cheese than the bagels. They laughed as they made their way into the kitchen to get cleaned up.

"I was thinking mini golf," Alex said, wiping the last bit of cream cheese off her face. "Either that or maybe bowling or the batting cages."

"It's January. It's too cold for mini golf."

Alex shrugged. "Eh, indoor mini golf is fun too."

"And batting cages? I never pegged you as a batting cages type of girl."

"I'm not. But I know you are. And I would love to watch you sing that bat."

"You ever tried them?"

"Once. It ended badly."

Casey smiled and was happy to see the beginnings of a smile appear on Alex's face. It didn't last long, nor did it quite reach her eyes, but at least it was there. "Why aren't you pissed off at me? Why haven't you reamed into me? I know I deserve it."

"You do," Alex said bluntly.

"I love your honesty."

"I'm nothing if not honest."

Casey nodded. "I figure honesty's the way to go." She closed her eyes and tried to keep the tears at bay. She would not let Alex see her cry. "I was horrible to you, Alex. Why aren't you angry?"

"I was," Alex whispered. She sighed. Time for honesty. It was now or never. "You're the fifth person I've dated that has introduced me to the family. The first four relationships ended within a week of those meetings. The first one because I wasn't Pentecostal and flat out refused to convert and wear nothing but skirts all the time. The second two because I'm a woman. The final one because the mother thought I was a stone cold bitch. She made him choose between us and he chose her."

"That's why you were so nervous to meet my family."

"Yeah," Alex mumbled.

"And then I freaked out at you a week after you met my family."

Alex nodded. "That's why I didn't really try very hard to get back in touch with you. Called you three times and stopped by your office once. I could have done a lot more if I really wanted to. But I just figured your family hadn't liked me as much as they said and you had picked them."

_Today is supposed to be fun,_ Casey thought sadly. _I want to make her smile, not make her cry._ She brushed the hair out of Alex's face and managed a small smile. "My family loves you. I love you. I am so sorry, Alex. I want to spend the weekend making it up to you."

"I wanted to be mad at you. I wanted to get in your face and scream at you. Then I walked into my house and saw everything you did. When I got here last night I was still pretty angry, but not nearly as much. After our conversation, I realized what you were going through, and everything you did made sense. I didn't like it, but I understood it. And now after sleeping on it, I just can't be angry with you anymore."

* * *

"So, the kids are coming over for dinner tonight," Elliot said when they woke up that morning. He ran his fingers across her face and kissed her neck, smiling as she leaned into his touch. "They should be here around three or four. I figure we'll do pizza and play a few games, maybe rent a movie or two."

"I like that plan."

"That means we'll have to get out of bed soon. Place is kind of a mess."

She leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips. Then his neck, and then she moved down to his chest. "I don't like that plan very much." She wrapped his arms around his waist and began kissing his chest again, rubbing her hands up and down his back."

He held her hips and pulled her into him. "I suppose we have a little time before we have to get out of bed." He met her eyes and gently traced her cheek with his thumb. "You are so beautiful. Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Mmmmm," she moaned happily, planting tender kisses down his body. She moved back up, kissing his neck eagerly and nibbling on his ear. "Then make love to me," she whispered.

Elliot grinned. "As you wish, my dear."


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay, I'm thinking it'll be this chapter and one more. My muse and I have been spending a lot of time together though. So I'm pretty sure I'll have a sequel to start up pretty soon. Hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

Alex walked up to the first hole and hesitated. "The last time I did this was at my friend Jenny's twelfth birthday party. They didn't have any obstacles like this twenty years ago." She looked at Casey and held her hands up. "What the hell am I supposed to do here?"

Casey rested her club on her shoulders and draped her arms over it as she walked over to Alex. "Well, Cabot, it looks as though you've got three options here. Go left through that narrow passageway. That'll land you in the top hole which will send your ball through a pipe which will then send your ball hopefully into the hole at the bottom. Or you could take the easy way and go right down the ramp. Much bigger area to aim for, but it'll shoot you out on the other side of the green from the hole. Third option's straight into the doghouse, but you have to avoid the dog going up and down."

"How wide do you think it is on the left?"

Casey squinted and cocked her head. "A few inches wider than your golf ball. It'll get you close to the hole, but it's risky as hell. Which way is it going to be?"

Alex stared at the green and scrunched up her face, thinking over her options carefully. "I think I'll go right." She put the ball down, looked towards where she wanted it to go, and swung the club. Way too hard. The ball hit the wall, bounced over, and rolled into the grass. "Damn." She rolled her eyes and went to retrieve it.

"Come here," Casey said before Alex could place her ball back where it had bounced out. She waited while Alex slowly walked over to her and put her ball back at the start. She pulled Alex over towards her and held her waist. This was going to be fun. "Okay, point your feet towards where you want the ball to go. Got it?"

"Yeah," Alex said, trying to concentrate on Casey's words and not her hands on her hips. She quickly found it impossible and decided to just let Casey move her to wherever she was supposed to be. "I got it."

"Good. Now see that line on the club?"

"Yep."

Casey reached over and held Alex's wrists, planting them where they needed to be. "Now we're going to swing the club, using the line to guide the ball where you want it to go. We'll hit the ball together, but not as hard as you hit it last time."

Alex licked her lips and shifted her weight from side to side a couple of times. Casey's hands on her wrists were not helping her concentrate, but she figured if they swung the club together, she'd at least be able to hide it. They swung and hit the ball. She watched as it hit the wall and rolled down the ramp, coming to a stop about ten feet from the hole. "Haha! Beat that!"

Casey put her ball down, aimed left, and hit it. She smiled as it easily rolled through the narrow passageway and into the top hole. She listened to it roll down the pipe and watched as it landed in the hole. She laughed as she flicked Alex's shoulder. "I believe I just did. Hole in one."

"You do this a lot don't you?"

"Yeah. It was Grace's favorite thing to do when we were growing up. We did it a lot after...we sort of made it a family thing. It really helped us all bond." Casey smiled as she pulled her ball out of the hole and stepped off the green. "We always went out for ice cream afterwards and talked about everything and anything we wanted to."

Alex walked over to her ball and took aim, trying to remember everything Casey had told her and failing miserably. All she could remember was the feeling of Casey's hands on her waist and wrists. She shook her head and swung the club. She was close, but she missed. The ball stopped about two feet from the hole. "So basically what you're saying is that you're going to kick my ass at this game."

Casey shrugged. "That's the plan."

* * *

"Elliot, this place is a mess. Tell me again why we only clean when your kids come over."

"Uh, because it's the only time we ever actually _have_ time," he said, stacking a pile of books on the end table. "We take off the weekends the kids are here."

Olivia dusted the television and TV stand. "Oh, right. Time. Remind me again what that is."

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, hooking his fingers into her belt loops and pulling her against him. He planted soft kisses on the back of her neck and grinned when she leaned into his touch. "I love holding you," he whispered between kisses. He turned her around to face him. "And I love kissing you. But..."

She frowned when he pulled away. _I'm going to get you back for that teasing,_ she though. "But what?"

He walked over to the coffee table and started cleaning up the dishes from the night before. "But the kids are going to be here in a little over an hour and we still have a lot to clean up. I want them to come home to a clean house."

Olivia threw the dust rag at him and put the spray back under the sink in the kitchen. She went back out to the living room and sorted the pillows on the couch. "You're going to pay for leaving me hanging just now."

Elliot smiled eagerly. "That's what I was hoping for."

She shook her head. "What games do you want me to pull out for the kids?"

He thought for a minute. "Well, Lizzie and Dickie like Monopoly and everybody likes Cranium. How about we start with those two? I know Lizzie really wants to see Despicable Me, so we should rent that. We'll grab it after dinner."

"Despicable Me, huh?"

Elliot shrugged. "It could be fun."

"Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"The kids like the pizza at Mario's. That sound okay to you?"

The doorbell rang, interrupting any answer Olivia could give him. They both laughed when they heard the commotion of arguing kids outside. "We'd better get them in here before they alert the neighbors. And yeah, Mario's sounds good."

* * *

"Alex, why are we turning left here? My apartment's to the right."

"Yes, but the ice cream parlor is down this street, on the left."

Casey furrowed her eyebrows. "Ice cream?"

"You said it's tradition to go out for ice cream after a game of mini golf."

"You caught that?" Casey asked. She'd only mentioned the ice cream in passing at the first hole. It hadn't even been the focus of the initial conversation. They'd talked about Casey's past cases and how hard it was when she first joined SVU, then about Alex's time in Witness Protection and how she struggled with keeping her various identities straight. She didn't think Alex would have held onto the small bit of information about the ice cream.

Alex smiled and parked the car. "I try my best to catch everything you say." She looked over at Casey and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Biting her lower lip, she spoke softly. "If you don't want to...I mean, if the ice cream thing is a tradition your family-"

"As far as I'm concerned, Alex, you are family. Any traditions we have I want you to be a part of."

Alex felt her eyes water but refused to let the tears fall. Casey actually considered her a part of her family. Family traditions were not something she had ever been a part of. Her family didn't stand for such things. Casey seemed sincere though. And Alex certainly wanted to have a family. "So," she said after a few moments of silence. "What's your favorite ice cream flavor?"

"Strawberry. You?"

"Chocolate."

They walked inside and both ordered two scoops with chocolate syrup and sprinkles. Alex pulled out her wallet and held up her hand to stop Casey from doing the same. "It's on me. You paid for the mini golf. I'm paying for the ice cream."

Casey rolled her eyes and she put her wallet back in her bag. They grabbed their bowls of ice cream and sat down at a table by the window. As soon as they were seated, Alex reached over with her spoon and took a bite of Casey's ice cream.

"Hey! Now give me a bite of yours!"

"Not gonna happen, Councilor," Alex said, pulling her bow away and out of Casey's reach. "I paid for it. I eat it." She laughed and took a bite of her ice cream. "Delicious. Besides, it looks like you've got plenty to eat over there in your own bowl."

"Humph, fine."

They ate in silence, both intentionally avoiding each others' eyes and trying not to laugh. Casey was relieved that Alex was eating with what seemed like no hesitation at all. _God she's sexy when she's eating...and that smile...and those eyes...and that body...shut up, Casey!_ She looked up and finally managed to meet Alex's eyes. "I love you."

Alex finished her ice cream and put the bowl down on the table. "You like saying that, don't you?"

"I do. And I like the look you get in your eyes when I say it. That plus I really do mean it." She didn't bother to mention the fact that she'd never really had the opportunity to say it before and now that she did have reason to say it, she wanted to say it as often as she could.

"Well I'm glad to hear it, because I love you too."

Casey smiled and pushed her chair back. "I have to go to the bathroom. You up for hanging out and watching movies for the rest of the day?"

Alex raised her eyebrows. "You mean snuggling on the couch while eating popcorn and drinking wine?"

"I do. Emphasis on the snuggling."

"I like the sound of that."

"Great. Now let me pee and we can head out."

"Don't take too long. You've gotten me all excited about the snuggling and I don't know how long I can wait."

"I promise."

Alex watched Casey walk away, grinning as she paid close attention to the swaying of Casey's hips. It was very entertaining. She licked her lips and looked down at Casey's bowl. There were a few bites of ice cream left. She quickly made sure Casey was still in the bathroom and finished off the rest of it.

"Hey, where's the rest of my ice cream?" Casey said when she reached the table.

Alex stood up and led Casey out of the store. "Like I said. I paid for it, I eat it."


	26. Chapter 26

**I lied in the last chapter. After writing the story out, it's going to take one more to bring everything to a close. So (and yes I'm sure about this as the next chapter is pretty much finished), one more chapter after this one and then it's over. Then it's sequel time. :)**

* * *

They ended up at Alex's house after Casey expressed her desire to try out Alex's jacuzzi bathtub. They swung by Casey's apartment to pick up a few things for her for the night, then headed over to Alex's.

As soon as they walked inside the house, Alex's eyes opened wide and her jaw nearly hit the floor. Everything from the previous day had been cleaned up. The house was immaculate. "Casey, how...where'd all the candles go?"

"In your linen closet."

"When?"

"Last night after you fell asleep."

Alex shook her head. She knew Casey's note had said not to worry about cleaning anything up, but she hadn't expected it to happen so soon. "You're incredible, do you know that?"

Casey wrapped an arm around her as they started walking to the bathroom. "How many jets does this thing have?" she asked when they saw the tub.

"Eight," Alex said as she started the water. She opened the linen closet and pulled out the vanilla bath gel, which she used for bubbles. "There's bath oils in there as well as towels and whatever else you want. Holler if you need anything."

Casey hesitated for a moment and grabbed Alex's hand before the woman could leave the bathroom. "Any chance you'd like to join me? Bubbles and oil sound really nice, but they'd be a lot nicer if I had someone in there with me. If you want to, of course."

Alex turned around slowly. "Are you sure?" she asked, carefully studying Casey's face.

Casey took Alex's other hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I am. I just have one favor to ask you."

"Anything."

Casey swallowed nervously and took a deep breath. She was more than ready to get in the bathtub, especially considering how gentle Alex was being with her. She was actually a bit excited about taking this next step. She knew how relaxing it was going to be in the jacuzzi. There was no doubt in her mind that she was safe and that Alex would never do anything to hurt her. Taking a deep breath, she looked up and met Alex's eyes. "I have a few scars on my back. I don't want to talk about them right now. I will, but later."

"Done," Alex said simply. She reached over and cupped Casey's cheek, gently tracing her cheekbone with her thumb. "Do you want to get in first or do you want me to?"

Casey looked over to the bathtub, which was now almost full of water and bubbles. "I'll get in first. I'd really like to give you a back massage." She smiled as she reached into the closet and searched through Alex's oils. _Besides, if I get in first, I can hide my back from you._ She grabbed a bottle and turned to Alex. "Lavender?"

"My favorite."

"I know," she said quietly, setting the oil bottle on the side of the tub. She slowly undressed, trying to reassure herself that she was okay and that nothing was going to happen. She was relieved that Alex was also undressing, with her back to her. Getting into the tub, she looked over and smiled when she saw that Alex was still taking off her clothes.

Alex took off her underwear and turned around, surprised that Casey was already in the tub. She figured the woman had wanted to get in quickly. This clearly wasn't easy for her. Then she noticed that Casey was staring at her. "What?"

"I like you like this."

"Like what?"

Casey bit her lower lip and grinned. "Naked. You know you're beautiful, right?"

"So you always say."

"Because it's true. Now are you going to join me in here or not?"

Alex laughed as she climbed into the tub, leaning back as Casey pulled her close. She sighed happily and rested her head back on Casey's shoulder. Today was the best day she could ever remember having. It meant the world to her that Casey trusted her this much. There was no way what they were doing right now was easy for Casey, and Alex was amazed at the amount of strength the woman had. She knew how lucky she was to be here with her. "I love you."

Casey dipped the loofah into the water and squeezed it over Alex's chest. "I love you too." Those three words had never been more true. The woman in her arms meant more to her than she could express in words. And she'd never felt safer in her entire life. "Thank you," she whispered, resting her chin on Alex's shoulder.

"For what?"

"Coming over yesterday evening. Being patient with me. I know it's been six months and this is as far as we've gone."

Alex reached up and held Casey's arms, which were wrapped around her. "You never have to thank me for an of that."

"Yes I do," Casey said firmly. She kissed Alex's head and held her a little tighter. "Most relationships don't last very long when a person realizes the other doesn't want to have sex within a reasonable amount of time. Six months doesn't usually count as a reasonable amount of time. You have no idea how much it means to me that you're willing to wait."

"And you have no idea how much it means to me that you've never pressured me to eat, you always tell me I'm beautiful, and you've even told me that I'm part of your family."

Casey gently stroked Alex's arms and occasionally squeezed the loofah over her chest. As many times as the thoughts kept entering her mind, Casey couldn't help but smile each time they did. _I really am safe here. She really does love me._ She brought her hands up to Alex's shoulders and pushed them gently. "Sit up. Massage time."

Alex sat up and closed her eyes as Casey's hands, covered in lavender oil, ran up and down her back. They were gentle at first, just making sure her back was good and coated. She'd never felt anything like it before. Thinking back to all her previous relationships, she realized that the intimacy she and Casey were experiencing at this moment was more than anything she'd ever known. She was starting to feel whole, complete. It was amazing that one woman could do that for her. "Ahhh!" she yelled, flinching a bit.

"A little tight there, Alex?" Casey asked, digging into the spot below Alex's right shoulder blade.

"Yeah, a little," Alex answered, her voice much higher in pitch than usual.

Casey eased up a bit, but not much. She could tell Alex needed the massage. "What's got you so tense?"

"Oh, you know. Life."

"Ah, yes. That I do know."

Alex turned as much as she could and looked at Casey. "That was really nice. Thank you." It was amazing how Casey's gentle touch could melt away every care she had in her world. It scared her that Casey had that much power over her. She'd never let anyone have that kind of power before. She smiled into Casey's eyes and took her hand. "If you want, I'd love to return the favor."

"You want to give me a back massage?"

"If you want one, I would really like to give it to you."

"You haven't seen my back before."

Alex shook her head. "That doesn't matter to me. No matter what your scars look like, if you want a back massage, I want to give you one."

Casey leaned forward and rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Getting into the bathtub with Alex had been a huge step for her and while she was completely relaxed right now, she didn't think she could go any further. "I don't know if I'm up for that tonight," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

Alex pulled the plug out of the drain and climbed out of the bathtub. She grabbed a towel and pulled Casey out of the tub. She grabbed a towel out of the warmer and gently wrapped it around Casey. "Don't," she whispered, leading Casey into the bedroom and sitting her down on the bed. "You never have to apologize for any of this. You hear me?"

Casey allowed Alex to lead her to the bedroom and sat down on the bed. She wasn't aware of what was happening until she felt Alex putting a sweatshirt on her. Why wasn't Alex angry? Alex had expressed desire to have access to her body, and Casey had declined her that access. Alex had every right to be angry. Yet here she was, helping her get dressed, her touches amazingly gentle and soft. There was no anger in her. "Maybe another night?"

"I love you," Alex told her. She sat down next to Casey and tried to judge whether or not Casey wanted any physical contact. She was relieved when that decision was made for her. She felt Casey give her a gentle squeeze and a small smile. She brushed a few strands of hair behind Casey's ear and took a deep breath. "I'm really glad you told me you didn't want to go any further tonight. I want you to always tell me to stop if I ever do anything you don't want me to do."

Casey looked down to her lap and frowned. "That word never works."

"What word?"

"Stop," Casey whispered. She fiddled with her fingers for several seconds before continuing. "In that basement...I-I...I used it a lot. It never worked, so I just never bothered to use it again."

Alex rubbed small, gentle circles along Casey's back. The hell that this woman had gone though was unimaginable. She hated to imagine Casey being hurt like that. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to keep her voice level. "Then we'll come up with a different word." She gently nudged Casey's shoulder and smiled when their eyes met. "How does pumpernickel sound?"

Casey couldn't help but laugh. No matter how many times Alex promised it, she still had a hard time believing that the woman really was this understanding and patient. "Pumpernickel?"

"It's my favorite kind of bread. And the first word that came to my mind."

Casey felt a single tear fall down her cheek and she didn't bother to wipe it away. She laid down on the bed and patted the space next to her, inviting Alex to join her. When Alex was lying down facing her, Casey pulled the covers over them and snuggled close to her. She laid her head in the crook of Alex's neck and gently traced the scar left on Alex's chest by the bullet. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Alex."

"I'd do it a hundred times over if the end result was where I am now: lying in bed and holding the woman I love." She combed her fingers through Casey's hair and gave her a light kiss.

"It still can't have been easy."

"No, it wasn't. The entire time I was in that program all I could think about was coming home so I could be Alex Cabot again. Still, I wouldn't change anything about it."

Casey looked up, confusion written all over her face. "Why not?"

"Because if I had never gotten shot, I would be in my old job here. And if I were in my old job here, you would be somewhere else. If you were somewhere else, odds are we probably never would have met. I don't want to...I _can't_ imagine my life without you in it."


	27. Chapter 27

**Well, we've come to the end. At least, the end of this story. The sequel is in the works. Things are coming together rather nicely. How about a very fluffy chapter to tie things up? Hope you enjoy.**

**Also, on a random note, anyone else not getting email notifications? I'm getting emails about reviews three or four days after the reviews are left. Very odd.**

* * *

Olivia stirred and rolled over, cursing the sunlight as it came through the bedroom window. Noises in the kitchen had woken her up and when she saw that it wasn't yet 7:30, she groaned. "Elliot," she said, shaking him. "Elliot, wake up."

"Don't wanna," he moaned.

"Your kids are awake and they're doing something in the kitchen. Do they know how to cook?"

Elliot opened his eyes as he woke up fully. "What?"

She laughed. "Your kids aren't going to burn our house down, are they?"

"Well the twins might, but as long as Kathleen or Maureen are with them, they'll be okay."

"And are you sure one of your older daughters is out there with them now?"

He sighed and sat up, pushing away the covers. "I guess we should go check."

They walked into the kitchen and couldn't help but laugh. Lizzie and Dickie had clearly tried to make pancakes. The only thing they had been successful in making, however, was a mess. Luckily Kathleen had been sleeping on the couch and they had woken her up.

"Sorry about the mess, dad," Kathleen said.

"Dickie dropped the eggs and broke them all," Lizzie informed them.

"I only dropped them because you tripped over the pancake mix you spilled all over the floor!" Dickie yelled.

"Okay, okay, okay," Elliot said, holding up his hands. He and Olivia walked into the kitchen and started to help the kids clean up. "How about we all go out for breakfast once we get this kitchen cleaned?"

"Yeah!" Lizzie and Dickie exclaimed in unison. They eagerly cleaned up as quickly as they could. The diner down the street had the best sausage and egg sandwiches. That was all the motivation they needed to clean up as quickly as possible.

Olivia nudged Elliot when he walked out of the kitchen. "You know they only make these messes on purpose because it means that we'll take them out for breakfast. I'm pretty sure Kathleen's in on it, too."

He shrugged. "We'll have fun. We always do. And if going out to breakfast three times a month makes them happy, I'll clean up any mess they make.

* * *

Alex slowly opened her eyes and smiled down at Casey. The woman was drawing small circles across her chest. She sighed happily and wrapped her arms around her. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not very long."

"And you decided that running your fingernails across my chest was a good way to get me to wake up?"

Casey rolled over onto her side and rested on her arm. "Well I thought about letting you sleep. You looked so peaceful."

"But?"

"I got hungry. You up for breakfast?"

Alex laughed and sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I don't think I'll be able to answer that question until I get some coffee in me."

"Coffee it is," Casey climbed out of bed and pulled Alex with her. She was hoping for a relaxing Sunday before the start of the work week. If luck was on her side, her phone would stay silent. She pulled the now full pot of coffee out and poured two cups. "Coffee, my dear."

Alex took the cup and took a long sip. "Ah, coffee, you are the love of my life."

"Coffee's the love of your life? Where do I fall?"

"A close second," Alex said with a wink.

Casey feigned hurt and washed her cup in the sink. She looked over and saw Alex staring blankly out the window. There was something almost unsettling about that blank look on her face. "Penny for your thoughts."

Alex hadn't even realized she'd allowed her thoughts to wander until Casey's voice pulled her back to reality. "I was thinking maybe we could spend the day in Central Park."

"Central Park, huh?"

"Yeah."

Casey narrowed her eyes. "You look like you're planning something."

"Maybe I am."

* * *

It was just after noon when Casey and Alex reached Central Park. Hooking their arms together, they started walking. Neither of them spoke. They instead spent their time looking around at their surroundings and occasionally smiling into each other's eyes. It was the perfect afternoon.

They wound up at the carousel and Casey gave Alex's arm a gentle squeeze. "How about a ride?"

"You want to ride the carousel?"

"Only if you want to ride it with me."

Alex smiled and looked over at the ride. "Sure, why not."

"Great." Casey led Alex over to the balloon vendor and bought two balloons. "One for you," she said, handing Alex a balloon. She smiled at Alex's confused expression. She could tell that Alex wasn't sure what to make of her current behavior. _Just keeping you on your toes,_ she thought to herself as they got in line.

"You seem really happy today," Alex told her.

"I am really happy today. Something wrong with that?"

"Not a tall. Care to tell me what put you in such a great mood?"

"You did," Casey said simply, taking a few steps as the line moved forward.

"I did? And how did I do that?"

Casey shrugged. "By being you." She thought for a moment and laughed. "Of course, it could also be the ridiculously wonderful sleep I got last night."

They stepped onto the carousel and took horses next to each other. "You ever ridden this before?" Alex asked once the ride started moving.

"Not this one in particular, but I have ridden my fair share of carousels in my day. You?"

"Once."

"Only once?"

"A friend's eighth birthday party. Mom was pissed that I'd touched something so disgusting. She got over it though." She smiled as the ride reached its maximum speed. She reached over and gave Casey's hand a gentle squeeze. "Hey," she whispered. "Why don't we just focus on today, huh? No worrying about the past."

Casey nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia stood in the doorway and looked around. The place was a mess. Elliot sighed and looked over at her. "Sorry the kids left such a mess. Get the four of them together and no place is safe."

"You really do have to love your kids to not get too upset when they leave a mess like this."

"I do love them."

"I know you do. And you know I love them, too." She looked around the living room and sighed. "You do realize this place was cleaner before we cleaned it for them, right? And we hadn't cleaned in two weeks."

"Yeah. Look, they're my kids, so if you want me to clean it up, I will have no problem doing so while you relax on the couch."

She laughed and hung her coat up on the rack. "Hush. When I married you, I knew that came with four kids every other weekend. We'll clean the place together and then we'll sit on the couch with some wine and a nice dinner."

"I knew I loved you."

Once the living room and kitchen were cleaned up, they sat down on the couch, both exhausted. "Casey called me a little while ago," Olivia said. "She asked us for a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

Olivia sighed happily. It had been such a great day. She loved Elliot and his kids, and she couldn't imagine her life without them. Even the mess that had been left over from the weekend of fun hadn't done anything to dampen the good time they'd all had. "She and Alex are spending the day in Central Park. She wants to have dinner there."

"And we are to provide the dinner?"

"Exactly. I'll make the call."

Elliot stood up and walked into the kitchen. When he returned, he had two glasses of wine in his hands. He handed her a glass and sat back down. "Dinner in Central Park? What are they going to have?"

"Mexican. Casey wants a couple of burritos and Alex wants enchiladas. At least, that's what Casey thinks she wants."

"She didn't ask her?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nope. Wants it to be a surprise."

Elliot pulled Olivia against him and hugged her. "That's one hell of a surprise," he said, finishing his wine. "Our two best friends are together and obviously very much in love. And it's all because of you."

"No it's not. You had a hand in it as well."

"Not nearly as big a one as you did. I love you so much."

She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. "I love you too, Elliot."

* * *

It was nearing dusk when Alex mentioned she was starting to get hungry. "Good," Casey said, leading Alex down one of the trails that led to the water. "It's just about time."

"Time for what?"

"You'll see."

Alex didn't answer as she hesitantly followed Casey along the trail. Her breath caught in her throat when they walked around the final curve. She could hardly believe the scene in front of her. A large blanket was spread out under a tree and there were several lit candles around it. Off to the side was what Alex assumed was a catering cart. "Casey, what is all this?"

"Dinner," Casey answered with a shrug. She walked with Alex over to the blanket and they both sat down. "I made a few calls."

"A few calls?"

"Yeah." She looked over at the men by the cart and nodded. The men made their way over with the food. "You're having enchiladas and I'm having burritos."

"That's what we had on our first date."

"Exactly." Casey sighed and tried to smile. "After what I put you through last week, I needed to make this weekend special." She took a bite of her burrito and met Alex's eyes. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Alex said. She put her fork down and looked deeply into Casey's eyes. She'd been struggling with something for quite a while and after the days he'd had, she knew now was the perfect time to do it. The food long forgotten, she reached into her purse and pulled out a small black box. Taking a slow, deep breath, she looked back up at Casey. "Today has been by far one of the best days of my life. I've had such a great time spending the day with you here at the park. Casey, you make me happier than I have ever been. You make me feel special, whole. You make me feel beautiful. I can eat around you without any fear or shame. I can be myself, let my insecurities and quirks show and know that you'll still be there when I wake up in the morning. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Casey Novak, would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Casey could hardly breathe as she saw Alex opening the jewelry box. The ring was absolutely beautiful. _We've barely been dating seven months_, she thought to herself. She looked from the ring, up to Alex, and back down to the ring. All of a sudden, the short amount of time they'd been dating no longer mattered. She knew she was in love with this woman. "Yes," she whispered.

Alex's eyes widened. She had been so worried that it was too soon, that her timing was way off. The love she had for the woman next to her clouded any judgment she could have had. All she could think about was how much she loved Casey, and how desperately she wanted to marry her. She couldn't believe Casey had so quickly accepted. "Yes?"

Casey smiled and leaned forward, resting her forehead against Alex's. "You are the most beautiful woman I know. You are kind and compassionate. You make me feel safe. "She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. "I have never felt safer than I do when I'm with you. So, all of that being said, yes. I would love to be your wife."

Alex tilted her head and brushed her lips against Casey's as she slipped the ring onto her finger. She wrapped her arms around her and intensified the kiss. "I love you, Casey. I love you so much."

"I love you, too. More than I could ever say in words. And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

**THE END**


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